Emanuel Ström

Emanuel Ström May 2019

I strive to be as good a man as I can ever be.

For my wife, abandoned by the only man who should have stayed forever, to help her restore her faith in men.

For my daughter
Unborn as of yet
To show her how she should be expecting to be treated by a man

For my son
Still only a dream and a wish
To help him become an ideal man for his wife, his daughter and, his son

#family #rolemodel

Emanuel Ström Apr 2019

A new home

I used to be on my own, I used to be fine! But somewhere along the way, I crossed a line.

The line was clear, I saw it coming a mile away, but even still, it took my breath away. It knocked the wind out my lunges, it knocked me to the ground, and when I rose to my feet, I heard the wonderful most wonderful sound.

The sound was of laughter, of tears and of joy. The sound of church bells, and the tapping footfalls of a little boy. I peaked my ears, I drew breath anew, but what filled my lounges was not air, it was you.

I saw it coming, but did not heed the warning, and now my heart is desperately tethered to you, every night, every morning.

I used to have a home, it was a nice house, on a calm street. But my new home is two arms, a pair of eyes, and your heartbeat.

Emanuel Ström Jul 2018

43

What did he just say? No, that can’t be right. One missing? But we are all here. Right?

Forty one, forty two, forty three… One is missing…

He is right… This was supposed to be a joyous day. The last test of the year. But here they stand. The teacher's, the curator, the principal and a priest… This priest. Like an omen he stood there, an augur, telling of grief to come.

Forty one, forty two, forty three… One is missing…

Slowly the news start to sink in… One is missing… And then it hits… The room falls silent. Just one moment ago everyone was sprouting with anticipation. Now we are frozen.

Forty one, forty two, forty three… One is missing…

It’s him. He is missing. No. Impossible, he can’t be gone. We still need him here. That's right, you are important right here right now, without you we are not whole.

... forty one, forty two, forty three… You are missing…

When I first came here I lived in a bubble, had no friends and no interest in making them. You saw me. You bursted my bubble. You saved me.
I did not see you. I saw the signs, I did not act on them. The jokes… They were only jokes, but jokes are a dangerous thing for there are always some truth behind them.

... forty one, forty two, forty three… You are missing…

The most heartbreaking sound in the world is the crack in a person's voice right as they are about to cry. Today I heard that sound. Our teacher. She who always held us to high standards and she whom helped us reach those standards. She spoke to me and her voice cracked.

... forty one, forty two forty three… You are missing…

Taking one's life. I never understood the term. Taking? Someone who commits suicide clearly does not want it anymore, so why the word take?

Today I understood the meaning. The sound made me understand. When you take your life, you do not take it from yourself. You take it from us. Your friends and family. The ones who are left. You take it away from them.
A scar never to fully heal. An empty space, never to be filled.

... forty one, forty two forty three… You are missing…

Good night sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

This one goes out to my good friend who left us too early. Good night sweet prince, and flights of Angels sing tee to thy rest.

Emanuel Ström Jan 2018

Home

I do not care,
I care too much.

I do not need you,
I crave your touch.

As I lay at night, sleep out of reach.
I speculate of how to reach inner peace.

I don't know what I need,
I know what I desire.

To feel truly at home, no joy would be higher.

Although I am in luck, more so then most could ever dream,
Nights like these I wish I could scream.

A home for most is four walls and a roof,
But of the opposite I found proof.

After our time together I learned that no matter how you might think your home looks neat.
A true home, will always be two arms, and a heartbeat

This is my first time of publishing anything, hope you like it.

— The End —