Back from the dream we lived
back into the city
concrete walls rose to meet me
these are my friends
they were that before the dream
weren't they?
back into a world I can no longer recognize
I'm tired already
tired like I was before I slept
I just want to dream again

This wasn't how it was supposed to be
These feelings of sadness and wrongness
Deep down inside
Constantly persisting on my waking moments
I wish there was something I could do to help
But I don't think we will talk about what happened
I don't think that we will for a while
And now I'm going away
And I already miss you
And I already wish I had stayed

I'm going to be stuck here for a long time
I gave up a lot to make others happy
I spent my happiness when I didn't have any to spend
I wanted to travel the world
To spend nights curled up
Next to a roaring fire and you
And watch the stars move over head
Nothing on my mind but the dull glow
Of the cheap cinnamon whiskey
But I don't think that can happen now
I can't go more than a few minutes
With life catching up
All the things I gave up
I thought it was for so much more
The path I carved in my life
The oaths I promised to my darkest parts
The dreams that kept me going
You were only ever supposed to be dreams
So why is it so hard to say goodbye

Flying over these peoples life's
Lights running like liquid gold
Across the cold shell that we made it to be
Rivers running like black blood
Through the artificial grounds
Those lights down there
Passing by thousands of lives
These lights are were everything has been made
All the first memories of love
All the happiness we feel
The days spent curled up with one another
The deaths of those before their time
The last goodbyes parting cracked lips
The salty bitter taste of tears gone bad
Lithe little lights running around
Carrying these memories around
High above the cloud tops
The little golden lights
Dancing in the fading eyes
Sleep now
Sleep to forgot

I'd like to think
I thought about something
other than the radio station
in your funeral procession
I'd like to think
I was more worried about
the family you left behind
than my own **** problems
I'd like to think
That we can see you again
But I think its a bit to late
To say goodbye

I told You not to read these anymore
(I did do that didn't I?)
I'm not sure what you are going through
I just know I'm trusting you with a lot here
You have something of mine that I didn't know
That I never dreamed of having
And it's young and new
Please don't **** it before it can live
I'm real messed up too
So many lies and manipulations
I begin to forgot that there was a real me
There was a real me wasn't there?
Some sick part of me wants this to end badly
That you will say you are just to nice a guy
I don't want to hurt you
So I can write about the injustice of the universe
That good guy that was to good
It's pathetic
But maybe the dark parts that molded me into that decision
Are no longer heard
Maybe I just want to be happy
Maybe the thought of you saying that is so much worse than I would've thought
That maybe trusting someone on a glass heart wasn't a good idea
Some genius I turned out to be

I can feel that part of me dying
The poet in me is leaving
These words a solemn record to what was
And to what always could have been
Say your goodbyes to the past
And begin to get nervous for tomorrow
The tears are gone
The will is gone
The blue period is gone
The time to live
Has finally arrived