Let the rain fall in the dry city
Although it never seems to impede the blood that flows
This place is alive
These grounds have a life to them
The whispers of the statues at night
The creaking of the newly planted trees unsure of themselves
The sidewalks, the old buildings, even some of the faculty
they are the most alive parts of this place
The lifeblood left as a memento to the newest generation
At night the campus is alive with stillness
With an overwhelming quietness that ***** you in
At night everyone is gone
And its just you, the rain, and the streetlamps

The sweating grinding masses
Cogs in the ineffectual machine that is society
To sober to get on
To drunk to not want to
This is what being human is all about right?
These constant need to go out there and have fun?
The urge to go and be whatever the ****
These people in the club are
These drunken animals
The sweating grinding masses?
These are the people I want to be
To cut loose and live and feel so alive
But I guess the next best thing
Is standing in the background
Writing these words

I should have done a lot of things today
I should have enjoyed myself
I should have been happy with the time I spent with friends
I should have said something to you
I should have given you this stupid stuffed animal
I should have been faster in my thoughts
I did a lot of things I shouldn't do
I shouldn't have been looking for you
I shouldn't have  looked into your eyes and fallen in love
I shouldn't have spent the rest of the day looking for you
I shouldn't have lived my life like this for the years I have
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry

I've committed so many sins
In my speck of a lifetime
I've lied, cheated, and used
My way to the top
And the war
To convince myself that it's okay
That I shouldn't feel bad
Is always going on
So to the strangers I meet
Who I ask did I do the right thing?
To my friends
Who I beg to answer am I a monster
And to the doctors
Who lay in their chairs taking notes and not judging
(Even if they always do)
I'm sorry for all the lies I told you
And al the half truths I muttered
But more than that
I'm sorry for the few I told the truth too

the years carried on by
we lived the lie
these are the days of our lives
we started so young
and had our youth taken from us
now we are barely adults
and feel like old men
not in mind, but in body
and now we act like teenagers
not in body, but in the mind
we are to old to be immature
and to young to be this cynical
but it was supposed to all be worth it
but as we float in the pool
for hours on end
even the doctors we are now
that we were ******* over
and ******* and moaning
won't make the thought of her go away any faster

I'm a monster
Someone who can't recognize their reflection
I'm a horrible person
Who lies and manipulates everyone
I can't stand being like this
So ******* happy
I'm ruining people's lives
I'm hurting people
And it's the only time I remember feeling happy
So what if yeah deserved it
Who long until the people I hurt don't?
How long until someone innocent falls prey
How long can I keep doing this
Until I destroy myself

Walking the city streets alone
hand in hand with the ghost of the past
this was the spot
where we promised so much to each other
walking on
passing by the statues in the park
seems like they never stop looking
passing by the hospital
where you had to go when you almost died when you were younger
you said so many things to me
to many things
echoes of the past now
my constant companion the ghost of what you were
hand in hand down the empty city streets
its getting colder each day
so this is the price I have to pay
for the sins of my past