Raining at night
The moon catching every perfect drop
Not a chance to see the stars tonight is there?
No, it's foggy, it's murky, it's so **** sad
You sit on the park bench
An umbrella nothing more than a dull memory
The rain felt good on your skin
One of the little things you appreciate in life
You smile, taking another drink
You've reached peace with your life
Everything's that's happened to you
All the times your hearts been broken
All the times you succeeded
And it felt like nothing
All the times you thought you were living
But in a few days you were right back in your old habits that caused all problems in the first place
But that's not right now
Right now
You are living
You close your eyes and lean your head back
You smile as the sobbing shudders break through you
You feel the rain on your face
No longer knowing if they are natural or not
And you can't find it in yourself to care
You know you'll spend the night here
Maybe someone will find you
Maybe not
But at least this time
You can go to sleep knowing you were happy
If only for a little bit

Why am I thinking about you now
It's been awhile since we've even seen each other
I remember the night when I first loved you
Someone couldn't handle their drinks
And we had to clean up after them
(Christ I miss him)
And when you bent down
The moonlight hit your hair
And you looked me in the eye
And that's when I knew things were different
I don't think I can ever forget that night
Just like I can't forget the night
Where I realized I hated you
Worked half to death
Another exam coming up
You used me
You were always using me
And I was to stupidly infatuated
The look in your eyes
I was scared once
Now?
I can't even bring myself to look at them

You all blend together
Later and later at night
All your faces melting into the void
I hate words like void
People read it and assume I'm a pretentious *******
Maybe I am
But the void is all around me
Drenched in my own failure
To even hold the conversation
Too caught up in my little persona
That I forgot to be a real person
I forgot to live again this year
And there is always next
I suppose
I feel like I'm running out of time to live
I'm young and stupid
I shouldn't feel the way I do
And that makes it so much worse

All my friends have left me now
Turned towards their own destinies
We all knew this was coming
We all gave our last goodbyes
No words ever capable of showing how we felt
We shook hands and made plans
Promising to stay in touch and meet up soon
We all know we won't
We all know life's about to take us
So as we walked away we remembered our time
The late nights at the fields
The nights matching under the lights
The hours spent talking
The years spent living
All to be replaced by newer days
I left before everyone else didn't I?
Those days exploring a city
Excitedly running around campus
Thinking we were in love
All with new people
Now that all my old friends are gone
I regret every moment I tried to replace them
I regret never telling them what they meant
But more than anything else
I regret turning my back on the person they knew I could be

no no no
please come back
you were different this time
I could see the future and we were so happy
I fell in love with you the second i saw you
you were everything I ever wanted
but you are gone now
and this time forever
how did the saying go?
Never fall in love with your dream  girl
Or never fall in love with a girl in your dreams

2:53
just as good as a time for a dreamer than any other
An insomniac dreamer
Too tired to bother remembering
when he is asleep and wen he is awake
when too many coincidences pile up
He is convinced he is asleep
But when he wakes up
The world isn't right at all
And he is even more convinced that it is a dream
2:54
The world crashes and comes back
echoing the waves outside
I can't remember the last time
I missed someone that I hated so much
maybe because at one point you held my heart
maybe because at one point I actually cared
is that really what happened to us?
too fast we let it die
too fast we all die
2:56
Blackout curtains
Can't stand the sun getting me up
Blacker than ink out right now
Only comfort in the whole world
The warm glow of my screen
A flicker though
a lighthouse guides ships through the fog
a lighthouse guides the words across a page
a mighty beacon for the strong for to long and weary
gone and back
life and death
hinging all the pent up dreams on seeing that light again
guide me home
please, guide me home

When did forever turn into a few more days
When did all our promises turn back into just words
When did we ever start loving each other
When did the sun rise seem a little less bright
When did the nights start getting a bit to long
When did we both realize we desperately love each other
When did we both forget who the other one was