You light up the fireworks
and they soar quietly into the sky
and explode in a magnificent display
I remember a few July's back
back when I still had someone to be with
back when I thought I knew what I was doing
I'm not sure why you talked to me on the fourth
we hadn't talked all week
not ever since the incident
so why then of all nights
and why did it feel so normal?

Write what you hear me say down
Listen to me speak
Read the words on the page
When can I become more than that?
When can I become the one behind the words?
When can I write what I wanted
Instead of what I needed to hear?

My hands are dry
Cracked from years of nothing
I just wanted to hold your hand
Map the world in your callouses
I'm lonely
And I think I need to admit that
I'm so ******* ready to admit it
If everything dies alone
Do we die by ourselves
Or de we do to be alone?
What does that mean to me...
Is living just a waiting time until we can be alone
Do the people that are never alone crave death
Do the people that never experience love
Cling to life
Perhaps to spite
Perhaps to hope

utter some ***** words
when no one else can
feel the wind blow against your skin
say your sorry for everything
even though nothing went wrong
because right now
its almost too late
too late
to start walking again
too late
to look into your eyes
too late
too fall asleep
its too late
for us

It's been a long time
since I've been this tired
a tired not drawn from living life day to day
but one drawn from living life to the fullest
a willing tiredness
one where you so desperately want to go to sleep
so you can wake up and experience everything new
a tired where you welcome sleep
a tired...
a happy tired

The more I think about it
The more you say it
The more certain I become
I need a break from here
I need to catch up on my sleep
I need to be alone
Go hiking too far in the woods
But more than anything else?
I need a break from you
I'm teetering so ******* bad
All the mental fortitude in the word means nothing when I look at you
But the I remember the empty looks
The humiliation you caused me
The grip you had on me
I'm not worried about you after all that
I'm just worried about you taking the people
I've come to care and respect
So please
I need to take a break from you
And I think you need one from me

I'm not sure if anyone in this city
maybe this is common in other cities too
when you put your hoody on late at night
feel the slightly biting summer midnight cold
walk through campus, mellowingly meandering
walk through the parking garage
run your skin along the rough concrete
break the musty depression
of the still air in the stiller garage
to enter the outer top floor
let the clouds settle and the moon to become free
in the distance, you can see the fig settle on the mountains
theres such a calming reassurance
in knowing that nature is always just a little jog away
even when surrounded by concrete
even when surrounded by unfamiliarity
you can always breath just a little bit of the sight in
and know that everything might just be okay in the morning