Its much to hot for you here
Im sorry for that
you have to long to wait
till you'll bring back the cold
i love you
there is no doubt there
but i hate you when you leave
take me away
i feel the sun
beating down its hatred
i feel this rough paper
boiling hot in this arid day
i feel my pocket
empty
i cant trust myself with it
not in this heat
i look over this almost stagnent pond
this is what ive become
a wanderless vagabond
never letting go of the past
(she's not coming back)
saying i have to write
these verses that i hate
so i know that someones reading
even if its something
i didnt want to write

I think there's something
always something
to be gained
by nothing
some shy away from the pitch blackness that surrounds them
lonely nights locked away in an iron cage of comforters
not a light on in the room
it really doesn't matter if they kept their eyes open or not
they all see the same thing
the darkness changes, that it does
some see the fears that plague them
some lovers of the past
some see the darkness looking back at them
seeing a sad little boy hiding under the covers
silently screaming away into the night
that he wants to be a little kid again
that he doesn't want to leave his friends behind
even though everyone knows he means the opposite
he doesn't want to go and hide under the corporate blanket
becuase it's all the same world, just different ages, different people
but we are all trying to hide under that blanket in the night
because we know that we don't want to see
whats inside that pit around us
the dreams
of what could have been

It's a fake world we live in
Let's all sit around the table happily
And ignore mom shaking from lack of nicotine
Even though no one is supposed to know she smokes
Let's ignore my moms headache
And say it's due to allergies
And not a hangover
Let's ignore my sister almost failing out of medical school
Because we haven't seen her in so long
Let's ignore my dad's painful smile
Because he knows that his family
The one thing he actually works for
Is crumbling around him
Let's ignore me
Oh god for the love of god
don't start in on me

I wonder why you are the only one
all the other houses are filled with little chirps
but yours, oddly empty
Oh! Of course!
you must be watching the house while she is away
no doubt gathering food
or Oh! Of course!
you must be guarding some young
it is the season after all
lets both try and ignore
your desperate warbling
crying out into the lake for her
and let's both try and ignore
how nakedly exposed
the inside of the house is

Theres something so beautifully sad
in having a book by the one and only Bobby fisher
teaching you how to play chess
just laying on the bed, open
yet never having won a game

There's something so beautifully sad
in having a guitar, all tuned and ready to play
leaning on my legs
despite the fact that I've
never so much as strummed a chord

There's something so beautifully sad
in listening to vinyl
becuase even though it does sound better
you only listen to a small collection
of people that you listened to not on vinyl

There's something so beautifully sad
with drinking away into the night
becuase when they say you've had enough
and then you stumble and drain another can
Thinking that no one noticed

There's something so beautifully sad
about the man who calls himself an artist
yet can't make art of any kind
and has to drink, even if it was only once
in order to make anything ever again

As the newly minted family of geese
swim along in front of me
Mother in front, Father in back
I really hope that they notice
the one they left behind
and I'm scared to think
that they already do

Why is it that after such amazing days

I have the worst dreams

Ones were I can dare to stand you

Ones were you look more beautiful than anything I've ever seen

Dreams were I can't function in that fake world

Because you were the world

So now that I'm awake

How do you expect me to function in the real one?