You were lucky to escape me.
Disregarding that four letter word
You always said so easily.
Seeing is believing.
You no longer exist to me.
Free falling into new feelings.
Old lovers.
New flings.
Disrupted bed sheets.
Freezing.
Fleeing.
He ******* feels me.
I'm fine
I'm fine
The ultimate line.
The darkness comes
The thoughts rush
Destroying you inside
Free your mind.
Always stuck talking
About time.
Last drop
Your mind can't get me off.
Everything else is irrelevant.
Like your presence.
Gone.
Gone
So now the smiles back on my face.

A fluttering light is pulling me back inside.
My mind.
Soaring towards that great white light.
I'm dead inside.
I can't breathe.
I can't see.
Come inside me.
Dangerous cycle of a downward spiral.
No care in the world.
Running in circles.
Arms length,
Always.
Stay away.
Stray cat.
Birds of prey.
Soar high until you touch the light.
Try to free your mind.
Don't leave tonight.
This isn't right.
These codependent issues
Won't last in life.
Abandon your vice.
Use your voice
To say enough.
Used up.
Advances of people you don't even want to touch.
Wanting is a rush.
Always searching for that euphoric real love.
A word made up.
Body going numb.
Breathe deep.
Just keep breathing.
Sometimes I forget how to breathe.
Emotions taking leave.
Flightless bird,
Just sing me to sleep.
Pain killers to confine my endless dreams.
You're still all I see.
I don't want to know
I want to ******* grow.
Drink bleach to whiten the tainted dark presence your name has on my teeth.
I want to see rainbows when you suffocate me.
I want to glow.
Fly.
Soar.
I don't speak muted volumes.
I ******* roar.
I've earned my stripes.
I'm a lioness.
I prey on my own soul.
I have no heart.
These words are my art.
Making sense to the brain in my own head.
Disguising lines filled with dread.
Dispair disrupts duality.
Normality.
There's no such thing.
Life is but a dream.
It's a ******* dream.
Sometimes nightmares.
Seeing stars.
But we breathe because we have to.

I wanna use the words you wrote
To describe how I feel.
So ******* empty.
Useless.
Depeche Mode is relevant.
I'm a bursting baloon
Helium.
Read between the lines.
You'll never find
The answers that define me.
My definition is lost.
I'm floating in space.
Never found
No trace
Resistance of everything
With a ******* straight face.
We own the sky.
Created from stardust,
Time goes by.
And by.
This is goodbye.
This is goodbye.

In the waves I've lost
Every trace of you.
Where are you?
Don't you see me drowning?
Inside I'm dying too.
I've lost you.
You.
The boat that always
Floated me to a steady shore.
To Solid ground.
Swimming through riptides
Is hard to do alone.
My lungs are suffocating
From the sound
The crashing
Of waves.
As I drown.
Down
Down
Down
I wash away.
I wash away
All trace.
Of you.

Bullets for words,
Without considering the exit wound.
Your hand continually strains the blood from my heart.
Tight grasp.
Steady grip.
No escape.
The bag goes rip.
And then the world
Spirals.
Down.
And up.
Puke your ******* guts.
Down and up.
I don't mind throwing up.
Down and up.
Until it stops.
And then
Back again.
Black again.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake the **** up!
I cant.

I'm losing my mind.
Trying to find a will to survive.
I've made it 27 years
Forcing breath
To enter and exit my lungs.
Maybe I'm someone
Destined to join the 27 club.
Morbid as ****.
Im just tired.
Beer bottles.
Whisky lullabys.
******* lines.
Shots to survive.
Pills eating away my insides.
My chest ******* aches.
Love is by far
The worst ever pain.
I'm becoming dull
And numb.
Falling down the inevitable
Rabbit hole.
I've already lost my soul.
I'm gone dude.
Black skies.
Black eyes.
No ties to my former life.
**** all of you.
*******.
I'm done.

There's a fire.
A fire.
I'm my chest.
An ache.
A burning fuckng disaster.
And I search.
I'm searching.
For some water,
Eveeywhere.
Just to put out this flame,
But I can't find any
Anywhere.
So I start to drink liquor,
As if that will be a cure.
Anything to make this fire go away.
And the fire in my heart is your love.
******* burning.
Suffocating my lungs with
Black smoke.
I'm not choking this time.
I'm not going ro falter.
I'm. Not going to fail.
I'm gonna climb up that ******* cliff
And dive into a deep ocean.
Submerse myself
Extinguish myself.
The flame in my heart
Will be forced to subside.
The flame in my heart
Once refused,
Will die.