Slick slits for eyes,
When you tell your lies.
That's why everyone around you dies.
The unwelcome sounds
Of choking from the inside.
Out.
Get out of my mind.
Find solice in time.
Breathing lessons for beginners.
*** lessons for sinners.
Suicide lessons for quitters.
Thinking lessons in life will make you all winners.
Admiring strength
In surety.
Of knowing who you are.
Where you want to go.
What you want to be.
Some die before they're able to achieve.
Goals
And gratitude.
Thanking their gods for judgement.
Unable to be who you want to be.
Stand up and set yourself free.

Music in your ears.
Music in your ears,
Freeing your fears.
Step out of the doubt.
Step out.
Step out of yourself
Holding you back.
Don't shed a single tear.
Don't let them see you cry.
Coping skills instilled
Since the age of nine.
All I want to do is take my time.
Time to breathe,
Time to see,
Time to be.
Beauty is ******* free.
It's all around you.
It's all around me.
Step back, open your eyes,
And believe.

Free falling into thoughts of you.
Is it so ******* bad to just wonder why?
Why it ever happened in the first place.
Time wasted, memories lost in translation.
Translating sanity
While going through the depths of hell.
And I'm sorry, ok.
I'm sorry for those nights in my car
Screaming at the top of my lungs.
Trying to find the ******* will
To just drive over that cliff.
And I'm sorry, ok.
I'm sorry that I put you in the category of a savior
Because at the time I didn't know how to save myself.
And sometimes I still dont.
It's like all those skills to cope
Go out the window with your fleeting hope.
Especially while holding a bottle of pills in one and a knife in the other hand.
Now the thoughts of you are fading
I feel like I am just decaying.
The lack of your touch.
The lack of that ******* euphoric love.
And I'm sorry, ok.
I sunk into my bed yet again today.
It's ******* hard to face the noise.
It's hard to feel the joys.
Fragments of a future
Are halted with a lack of breath.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of the tears
Bursting through my eyelids
Uncontrollably
When a stupid song comes on.
Provoking emotion.
I don't want to feel, self.
Don't you understand that by now?
It's too much.
I tried feeling once.
After a terrible loss.
And then I ******* died.
I was a phoenix that day.
And the reignighted fire
Burns deep
To keep
To keep ******* pushing through.
Just to breathe
Is sometimes enough
To smile.

I guess it's time to start writing again about tragedy.
Like the fact that my love life is lacking.
Pretty ******* tragic.
I'm missing the magic.
The spark.
Skin on skin.
Tongues twist.
Firm hands on my small wrists.
Is it really that weird to like small *****?
I don't even know how to write this.
I guess plain and simply stating,
I need to get laid.
Toys don't do the trick to rattle my cage.
I like the seductive tugging on my heartstrings.
I like trying new things.
Asphyxiation isn't new,
But I like that too.
Slow, sensual, passionately poetic flowing.
Or rough and tough, break walls and stuff kind of *******.
Ever growing.
Ever changing.
Breathing in sweaty skin.
I like that kind of
Comfortable sin.

**** man,
Torn between two people
Who are equally enthralling.
Both tearing my soul in opposite directions.
Both on my mind.
Both equally not wanting me at the same time.
Which leads me to thinking that I'm not enough.
I feel like I make the tides rough.
The seas get heavy with salt.
The pull.
The push.
The waves wash over me,
And I am anew.
If only,
If only I mattered to you.
I'm ******* delusional.
I should just get in my car and drive afar.
Far away.
From the life I've lived.
From the life that's defined me.
Leave everything behind.
Be free of my mind.

I always feel like words flow
With the alcohol inside my soul.
Ever encompassing by being.
This feeling is freeing.
Taking shots I can barely hold down.
Like the words that stay in my throat.
I want your presence to just go.
Escape me.
Let me be ******* free.
And I'll say it again,
Escape me.
Like a ghost
Haunting me.
Haunting my soul.
I just want for you to leave me alone.
I don't want you to invade my dreams.
I don't want to think of you when I just can't sleep.
I want to let my future grow.
I want to be more than you've ever even known.
Coming down to the fact that you never even knew me at all.
I'm a ******* flower.
Always in bloom.
Drawing you in with a beauty,
Untouchable.
Unknowing.
You don't know my name.
But I smell nice
So that is enticing enough.
Meet me in the forest,
Where my soul is bare.
Where I am me.
Free flowing with the dead trees.
I bloom and die
Bloom and die.
My presence is rebirthed
Over and over again.
I stand.
I stand as roots in the ground.
I am ******* sound.
I'll make you feel despair
Misery in everything
Yet, lift your spirit
To the highest of highs.
I'll make you fly
Like a blue bird.
Blue is all I see.
I used to see black, and sometimes green.
Now, all you see is me.
I invade your dreams.
You're in my thoughts as I am yours.
Euphoria only lasts so long it seems.
I'll always meet you in my dreams.