Look behind the door
What do you see

The silhouette
Of a beautiful dream

Wrapped in the songs
Of a nightingales sorrow

I hope she comes
Back tomorrow

I have been writing poems
For almost 2 years
Something I thought I'd never do

Each poem I craft
Starts from a thought
Then a mediocre draft
Each one resembling
A chain from the past

A pain, a thought, a longing
Yet I feel I'm always missing something
A road block from improvement

I read the poems other write
With such amazement and envy

What is it I'm missing
To see the world
You see?

To you who are
Truly divine
I beseech thee
To never seek thy shrine

For these vein’s
Carry tainted waters
Through a dying temple
Hastily poisoned by time

Perhaps appealing
On the outside
But malevolent shadows
And corrupted followers
Lurk within unwinding
A fate I wish would align

Red flags disguised
amongst the roses

I can’t lie
i was distracted
by
her many poses

Quick

water down the fantasy  
can anyone
being some hoses

For

My dry eyes

had me thinking
“This is great”

Until I met her gaze
and realized
like the rest
she’s the same

To one day
meet
a kinder love

So I won’t
have to
feel
the loneliest
in my pain

I already love,
Or so I think I do?
But if I truly did then what is this feeling now,
This complete fascination I have with you.
I do not want to love another when I already love?
But this feeling has a symbiotic relationship with me
It needs me to survive,
And I willingly give it nourishment,
Constantly I tell my self that these,
emotions washing over me are unknown
Even though I clearly understand their nature.
My accelerated heart beat screams the answer,
This is the first time I’ve ever felt such…..
Such desire for someone.

As the thought of you now floods my mind,
I cant help but feel such guilt.
I need to drill a hole in my head to pour you out,
But no matter how hard I try
the memories of you quickly coagulate
So nothing can escape.
I feel that you will be forever lurking in the back of my head
And from now on any thought I have
You will be the outline for it.

At night
The moon whispers
To my mind
Sending it off to
Find its fate

While I lay empty
Waiting at the gate

The sun impedes
Wiping away
A dreamers
Escape

Once in a dream
I inhaled the night sky
Becoming one
With its hue

I replaced every star
With a sigh

All except for the ones
That reminded me of you

I then kept
Just enough of the sun
To torture it till Jun

Planting six seeds
For my lover

And grew them under
The pink moon

I miss the color
Of your presence,
Such a unique shade
Of sky

Dying grass beneath my feet

Now ever softer the blades

 

The day begins to crumble

As I start to hear

Whispers over my shoulder

From beyond the grave

 

They tell me of a goddess

Grown in the meadow

Once somber a slave

 

So I became their conduit

Blindly pulling these words

From the haze

 

Selling off a part of my soul

Just to give her my name

Do I confess
To the night

Love so cold
I looked for
Warmth in you

Whisper to the stars
Of this life

From
Despair
Renewed

Playing
Under the cloak
Of daylight

Take this marble
With it carve out my soul

With chisel in hand
scribe my purpose

Engrave it in gold  
Then hide it away

Keep it in the dark
For me to find one day

What the crow’s can salvage

From the subconscious mind,

Secrets carried  in-between
Feathers;

The many truths I’ve left to die.

I see you in the distance as you lay scattered all over the floor,
I immediately take on the responsibility of fixing you.
I pick up each piece carefully to avoid breaking you even more.
I do not mind the cuts I get nor the thick red blood dripping from my hands,
I have fixed before
So why should you be any different.
The more of you I put together the less of you there is,
Not enough to restore you fully.
I begin taking pieces of myself to substitute the ones you're missing.
With each part of me I give to you I become weaker,
Until I eventually fall to the ground and shatter.
The only thing I regret is not being strong enough to….fix…you…..

I have this vision
of you in my mind

But through your words
I found the human
lurking inside
And
I can tell by your responses
there’s not much going on

Are you listening?
Or
Just trying to get by?

Once in a blue moon
I meet plenty like you
only for it to become
all too human
way too soon

I walk along
the stoney roads
where
pebbles seem to scatter
as I step

My lift
cloud be
a complement
to her wings

But it is the earth
to whom I’m kept

As she has me
looking up
just to find myself
looking down

Chained to the roots
of all the grounds
In which I wish to fly

It’s funny…

On this level
i can see
just where
all those pebbles hide

When drinking
by the fire

I can feel myself  
come undone

My nights have
never been colder

And I’m unnerved  
by what’s to come

So I focus on flames
to hide my endless
gaze

All the ghost’s  
Inside my head

Dare I say they
call my name

You came to me
with waves upon waves of emotions

yet I couldn’t see through your sea

You told me to dive deeper
and
I might find something more than just me

But is that not the nature
of the ego-naut
to explore indefinitely

making a home
in a place
where a home shouldn’t be

Deeper down know I see
All is
We

I started writing
this poem for you
And
made it all about me

Falling
With Wings spread in fright
The  Angels sing but I pay no mind
Locking away the idea of heavens gates
I rolled the dice
Now Earth becomes
my hellish paradise

As the night falls upon the earth
Let thee commune
With thy brothers
And take to the mountains
Just before the peak of dawn
Scream thy names to the Gods
Until they shake the sky
With thunder and lightning

From the mountaintop
Let thy blood flow
Like the rivers of time
No beginning
No end
Just existence

The answers you
Seek lies not
Within materialistic needs
But within yourself
Far beyond
flesh and bone

As the dawn rises
And outcasts the night
Feel the warm glow of life
As it unshackles thy true nature
Revealing to you
Your soul
For this is who you are

Raised by Gods

That can’t sing

 

Her love became

The prayers

That they would read

And

Bestowed with the blessings

Her smile would seed

 

Awakened my mind

Beyond gold and green

 

Where

I found my self bound

 

To the one

Who found me

I’m corruption
But you are my corruptor,
Ever since I met you
I now go home and wash the  stench of the day away with sin,
Such a sweet and pleasant scent it is,
Truly I am addicted
And because of you
I have been changed into something greater Then I once was,
And slowly I am becoming the person I am meant to be.
Or am I….

Throughout the years of embracing the darkness of this world
I have come to realize that in fact you are the darkness,
And I am nothing more than the entertainer,
In your lonely life.
You keep me around to fill the void that you placed within yourself.

O sweet child
How your eyes glistened like the sun,
Your heart radiating
With kindness and compassion,
Yet here you lay
Broken
Trampled by the world and its ways.
I do not pity you
But know that
I love you.
I could pick you up and mend your wounds
But I shall not..
Instead I will throw you to the wolves
And guide you to survival
I am not your friend
I am not your savior
I am your father
Do not forget me.

Into gently placed
Granite eyes
I waited for my heart to beat
But got nothing back in surprise

I watch
As she
Descends

Her light reaching out
Trying to hold on
Till the very end

But as I watch
I know
I’m not alone

In my peripheral
There is a man
Looking out
Sitting on stones

You are a fascinating creature
Smart,
Beautiful,
Your hair shimmers like gold in the sunlight,
And your eyes whisper to me your secrets

You are the temptation I try so hard to resist
Every day
And I know I could never be the world you deserve

I will cage these feelings
Never to fly free
Until they eventually
Die

I lay here in my own arms
Cradled by an absence
Petrified in obsidian

The roads that find me  

Take me every which way

One night I stumbled into her temple

And there at her alter

the Venus flower lay

I am not one for gods

But just this one time

I couldn’t help but pray

She blessed me with a glimpse of her beauty

And it has scarred me to this day

I go to bed indulging in fantasy,
              
            I Wake up broken by reality,
          
                I go to work chained by insanity,
            
                   All while FEENING for my fantasy.

Why do I feel so lonely hanging from this orchard?
So many others yet the feeling of solitude binds to me,
And the thoughts start to seep in.
You will never be good enough to feel the warm soothing touch
Of the farmer choosing you for a new purpose,
You are too undeserving of ripening.

So the orchard that is life will decide it’s my time to be let go.
Abused by the fall I descend to the bottom.
I am now the apple that has fallen too far from the tree,
On the inside I rot normally
But on the outside I am black and blue.

I converse with
The voices in my head

They talk slowly
So their guidance isn't misread

I love you
But I think I should tell you
I never thought I could feel this way
Your smile
Your laugh
Your presence
The way you talk to me
I’ve been overwhelmed with emotions
over the years my feelings have changed,
Yet I mean it when I say
I hate you