If I had one wish,
I'd turn back time,
Talk to you more.

I would tell you all my fears,
And the **** in my head,
I wouldn't worry about what
You would think of me.

I would delete all the apps in my phone,
I'd hold you tighter,
I'd tell you I love you every hour,
I would annoy you so much with this power.

If I had one wish,
It would be us,
To work us out,
And not give up.

But it's too late now,
I waited too long,
If only, if only,
I could turn back to the begining.
-Bee-

At night you hold me,
Like you want me to stay,
But when the sun wakes up,
You shoot me anyway.

Right through my heart,
The bullets soar,
Shattering like confetti,
All over the floor.

I can't eat,
I can't sleep,
I can't breathe without you.

You put a smile on your face,
As you walk away,
"Don't want you anymore",
Is what you say.

Then the sun goes down again,
And you get into the bed,
Cuddled up to me,
Mending my heart,
Only to repeat it,
When daylight starts.
-Bee-

Am I holding you back,
From the life you deserve,
With happiness and freedom,
From my anxieties and fears,
Where you can be yourself,
Without my jealousy there.

I apologize,
For the days I held it in,
The night I pretended I'm ok,
The times I faked a smile,
The tears I hid.

I apologize,
For letting it get this far,
For being emotional or crazy,
For ignoring you,
For being me.
-Bee-

When the rain pours,
thunder strikes,
and no one is around,
can you hear me calling you,
or do i just disappear,
if you turned around,
id be there,
a step or two behind you,
like a shadow on the sidewalk,
but you keep on walking,
i cant always be here,
i need to walk away,
but I'm like a magnet,
I'm the negative,
you are the positive,
we go together,
but only when you want it,
a jigsaw that doesn't quite fit,
in the same book but different chapters,
only together for the sake of the reader,
i call your name a few dozen times,
but like always you don't hear a sound,
the thunder strikes again in my heart,
the rain pours from my eyes,
falling down in the street,
invisible to everyone who walks by,
I'm drowning and no one will hear me crying.
-Bee-

When the feeling comes,
Its not what you expected,
Like a MAC truck hit you,
When you weren't looking,
5000 pounds of pressure,
All on your chest,
Its hard to breathe,
You lung feel like lead,
Your heart is racing,
Your insecurities floating,
In your mushy head,
Your arms are tingly,
Legs are weak,
Take a deep breath,
Hold it all inside.

No one can know,
How you really feel inside,
The pills aren't working,
You run and hide,
The wall are closing in,
The room is getting colder,
Your vision is blurring,
Ears are buzzing,
You take the razor blade,
With a sad smile,
A small line of crimson.

The walls start to move,
Your vision is clearer,
Another will help,
You know it will,
So you mark your skin,
With a sad smile,
Breathing is easier,
Your body feel lighter.

You rinse of the blade,
The bleeding stops,
While you take a shower,
A bandage is obvious,
So a bracelet it is,
Or a long sleeved shirt.

But next time,
Your thigh,
Summers almost here,
People get suspicious.
-Bee-

I am mud,
on the bottom of a rock,
in the middle of the ocean,
Just fighting to get free,
Trying to get up,
To breathe,
To get air,
Instead I am kicked,
I am thrown,
I am garbage to all that I know,
Hello friend,
I am mud.
-Bee-

when you look my way,
it puts a smile on my face,
but when you look at someone new,
i want to rip them in two,
i cant help it when im jealous,
you make me mad,
so mad god ******,
stop looking at me that way,
i cant fake a smile when i want to cry,
look at me and only me,
and i wont go crazy in front of your family.
-Bee-