Today is the day,
She walks away,
Dusts off her pants,
And kisses the cold stone,
"I love you" she whispers,
As the gate finally shuts,
Closing this chapter,
To open another,
But every year,
She thinks back and smiles,
As the tears escape again,
And she whispers,
"I wish it was me"
-Bee-

One phone call,
Is all it took,
To have me in the corner,
Breath ragged and body shook,
Its happening again,
The end will be near,
'Take a deep breathe',
She whispers in my ear,
Rubbing my back,
I try to.. I do,
But the pain is too deep,
I hear her my past crying,
When they think im asleep,
I know its not real,
The black void is coming,
Deja vu all over,
Anxiety attacks are coming back.
-Bee-

music is my escape,
from family friends and life,
if I'm mad i play some Ed Sheeran,
Meghan Trainer or Charlie Puth,
and it instantly makes my day better.
If I'm nervous i put on,
some old school Akon or Eminem,
and all i can think about is the beat.
when I'm happy i listen to Cole Swindle,
Avril Lavigne or Florida Georgia Line,
dance around the room and sing with my horrible voice.
when i just want to dance i listen to Daddy Yankee or 90s-early 2000s hip hop.
when I'm ******* ICP or TOP and it calms me down instantly.
music changed my life in every possible way,
i wouldnt be able to survive if i didnt have my music.
-Bee-

Harry gave me magic,
Hermione showed me that being smart is good,
Ron showed me what a good friend is,
Katness proved family comes first,
Peeta showed me how to love,
Four made me brave,
Tris showed me how to fake until you make it,
without my fandoms where would i be in life?
in fact where would we all be?
-Bee-

The sidewalk ends,
i skip through the grass,
find the old train tracks,
walk east towards the woods,
where i can just get lost,
walk around for a while,
with the golden sun setting,
no one knows where i am anymore,
its a get away from reality,
where the air is sweeter,
the noise is gone,
its like a padded room without the nurses,
there's nothing constricting my body anymore,
no more stress or worries,
the birds and crickets come out,
as i weave my way through to my spot,
i see the bright blue flag up ahead,
it means i only have a three giant oaks before i turn left again,
then straight to a mass of bushes over 6-foot tall,
on the other side of the bush is a old warn out couch,
a lazy boy and a mini fridge,
under the couch is a tent waiting to be put up,
under the chair is a case of soda and toilet paper,
and the fridge has a bunch of non perishable food locked in it,
i get the tent set up and grab the key that's on a chair around the zipper,
eat some food and smile because there's no cell service,
i can live here without leaving for ten days,
but i only have two until someone realizes I'm gone,
better enjoy this while i can,
before the real world calls me back.
-Bee-

To all my homies alive and not,
I love you with every heartbeat that i got,
Until my blood turns cold and im dead in the ground,
You're with me in the moments we held
-Bee-

Its november and i see you,
Every night in my dreams,
Bringing back the torture,
Bringing back the old me,
Everyone wants happy,
Smiles and laughs,
But my insides are ripping,
My body in half,
Like an operation,
Heart transplant gone wrong,
I have a giant hole in my chest,
Where you used to belong,
Someone stabbed me with an ice pick,
But i didnt feel much,
Because theres nothing but a heart of stone,
Since the day you left.
-Bee-