Let Bede die today
Let me awake without breath
Please don't worry
I will be okay
You know who you are

You've done so much to fix my life,
Lord, let me count some ways.
I've not the need for **** indeed
I won't smoke for all my days!
My bank account is full
And so shall it be to-morrow
My heart, now full of song and love
No longer full of sorrow!

You helped me love myself again
By letting me be me
I cannot thank you enough, my joy
Because of you, I'm free!

I'm going to try
And not focus on
Religion as much today.

I fell asleep
Before I could
Read the night away.

The promise i made
I will keep today
I will keep in every way.

Patience
Something I am working on
Something I will be using greatly.

I will be patient.
You are going through so much
And I am going to help make it better.

Help me be patient
Teach me what it is you need
Let me into your heart to stay

Please be patient
Don't wander off so quickly
Maybe we can love again

Patience.
It's a beautiful thing
For lovers, and friends.

I'm a loser baby
So why don't ya **** me
*wicked guitar solo

I turned my back on God
Praying to those gods
Who rule over
Land, sea, and air.

I sing their praises,
Just like I used to,
And i got my answers,
My Muse remains.

They told me
What I already knew
Reminded me
Of why I see
Eternity within
Your finite form

I miss church
But I woke up too late
And I dont know
If I can make it.

My heart hurts still
I don't know where to go
And I'm scared of the consequences.

I want peace
That truest peace
The bliss of the ages.

Will i make it to church?
I would druther see the color
In my best friend's hair

Guilt will come
Guilt will go
Happiness will come to stay

Don't be complacent
Become your goals
And never let others get in the way

I know my poems
Will descend further
Into the dark
Recesses of my mind.

I will stay
The blade from striking.
May this match
Never come to light.

Do i have power?
Don't read this poem.
My lovely dove
My saving grace.

I don't want you
To know my sorrow.
I want to see
Your smile grace your face.

I want to watch your
Cheeks get reddened
Just like they did
Not long ago.

I want your embrace
I need your medicine
Oh Ambrosia,
Stay my hand.

I am not worthy
Of your love to me.
I am not worth
All your time.

I am nothing,
I feel so empty,
No one deserves
My sorrow.

I cannot believe
My body can ache
From the wrath i cause myself.

Leave me alone
Oh tormenting mind
And free me from my cell.

Remove me from temporal gain,
Eleviate my need for joy.
**** my soul, destroy me whole
And keep me as I was.

Cuts and scrapes
Slashes, tears
Unintended, with intention
Please save my soul.

Will i be okay?
Or am i just trash again
To be tossed aside

On here, I am free
To say as I wish
But I don't want to give you fuel
To fan flames against me

I will be here to help you
Just as you helped me today
You may not know it
But you saved me today.

Thank you

Milk and honey,
Are the answers
I try to
Give myself.

May i *******
Bitter sweetness
My medicine
Is too far gone.

Thank you, darling.
Im sorry im sad.
May my heart be healed.
Dont let this change
How i am your friend,
I know it hasnt changed
For me.

It isnt just you
I've lost my brother
My family
Ignores my cries.

My friends abandoned
Me to go be happy
But you have stayed
By my side.

This cup was not
passed by me, but to me
And the vinegar inside
Is justly deserved.

I was not enough
To heal the wound
Telling her that
I am not worthy of her love.

Who were you with
When you kissed my lips
So unhappily nights ago?

I will never hide
No matter how much I ache
I trust you to look away
If you truly wish to.

Thank you so much.
I will be better.
I'll be a good friend to you,
and I'll keep my emotions out of it

I lay to rest
And think about
The morning that I've had.

I can't believe
I could receive
The blessing that I have.

I have some healing to do
But that is same for all
Never forget, I'm here for you, dear
No matter if you fall.

I will stand by my convictions
I will not be sad over choosing my friends
I cannot help everyone,
And some people don't deserve to be helped.

I can't believe
I'll never feel
Your lips against mine again

Dont mind me
When I make a promise
In your name.

I'd use God's
But I know, with yours,
I can stand by it easier

No cigarettes today
No cutting
No punching
Try to not cry.

No excuses
No hiding
If I am weak,
Go to her.

She won't be mad
I will be okay
And i will have bliss
To fight today

Lord grant me a peaceful rest
Alleviate this stress
And resign myself to You.

Keep my dreams
Let them not wander
Lest I remind myself why i am sleeping

I'm afraid to hold on
My trust, not shattered, but hurt
Am I to believe you won't leave me again
Lying alone, in pain, in the dirt?

When I stop thinking
I am drawn to a sadness
Unknown to me.
Unbeknownst to me
Is the woe
That plagues my soul
To infinity.

I've not lost yet,
Her, the game of Life, none of it.
I may have lost my friend,
And I may be changing,
But i know I'll be proud and
Happier to be me.

I know she will be too

Ill pour my ******* heart out now
That i know that I can
And i am in so much ******* disarray

Be happier than i ever made you
And it'll make me happier than I ever have been.

I hope the best
For you and I
That I may grow
And that you may too

I know you will be fine
Whatever the problems you had overblown will be talked of and healed
Love will return
But only if you wish it to.

The world is green,
But slowly dying,
And i have got to go.

Show my loved ones
Where I'm falling
To the land of cold, white snow.

I am free to
Spare my falling.
I can save, save my soul.

From all this worry
And expectations
Of how I'm supposed to go

Reading your poems
Brings my heart
Joys unseen

'i didn't want to talk to her'
You didn't end the call when
I spoke my heart out,
But when I told you
I can't be there
Because you still do ****

Then you left the call.

Thank you for telling me
The truth of what he did.
His friendship meant little to me
When he hit a **** pipe when I saw him.

If all they want to do is smoke,
Then I am wary of them.
I'm overcoming my addiction
That's why I'm now wary
Of those who are false
Behind simulacrum screens.

I've held the blade in my hand
I have not cut myself.
I don't know how you care so much.
I love me.
I may hate myself
And view all of this as my fault
But I know
Deep down
I love me.

My faith in God
These last two days
Have been as thin ice in the last days of winter.

how could I be so blind
To let everything get ahead of me
Why did I not put her first?

My salvation will never be ensured
But one thing was
And that was her love.

Or so I thought
I may not believe in anything anymore
I didn't expect this from her.

I am not crazy
To hold onto
The only friend
To show me their worth
And keep it.

I wish i could envelope myself
In the ecstacy of escapism
Rushing away to realms concealed
In things that make me sway.

But, no, I am strong.
I shall overcome.
I am stronger than that which consumes me
Whether suicide or addiction, I will win.

I seriously miss you so ******* much. I can't believe you're gone. I just can't. I can't wrap my head around the fact that you're okay with just leaving me, even though just three days ago we had kissed and you held me close and I was all yours. I'm still all yours. I love you so ******* much. I ******* love you still so ******* much. I am so ******* tired of not being good enough. I want you to love me again. Please. Please just please for even a day, I'll make it last a lifetime. Just please.

I ache, my muscles
And skin torn and worn.
My night and morning
All spent towards betterment
Of the self
Even if I learned
Through harm

Those hidden things
Those secret things,
bestowed to me
In times of stress.

I'm sorry, my love, I failed you
My arms fall to my side
I lay my weary head to rest
And rise to feel like I've died

Arisen in panic
In worry, in fear
Anxiety stricken
With no sleep near

Please forgive me, love
I hope it went well
I love you so much
Though I feel like hell

May tonight mark a new beginning
The marks i left on my skin
Are no more to me
Than obstacles.

You, oh sovereign, reign with me over the world.
I meant every word I said tonight,
May my love forever ve heard.

My dearest friend, oh sweet lovely dear
Romance may not be our goal,
But the road of the everlasting
Is paved with the  stones of friendship!

My emotions, soon stoic,
But, in here, legendary.

My world, transformed.
A scroll folds across the sky
Ahead of me, the trumpets blare,
And i'm left to be trampled by a Godly steed.