I seriously miss you so ******* much. I can't believe you're gone. I just can't. I can't wrap my head around the fact that you're okay with just leaving me, even though just three days ago we had kissed and you held me close and I was all yours. I'm still all yours. I love you so ******* much. I ******* love you still so ******* much. I am so ******* tired of not being good enough. I want you to love me again. Please. Please just please for even a day, I'll make it last a lifetime. Just please.

I ache, my muscles
And skin torn and worn.
My night and morning
All spent towards betterment
Of the self
Even if I learned
Through harm

I will not cut
Even if i want to
Even if I wish
I had died

Those months ago,
Just a year and half month
I almost
Took my life.

Please dont worry
I cannot leave you,
My soul would never
Forgive itself.

But those long cuts
They had a meaning
My sorrow
Has culminated in pain.

Do not blame yourself
For my poor judgement.
You dont blame me
For you leaving.

So please dont blame yourself
For all my sorrow
In the end
Youre still my light.

Even though you're another's
I can't take your picture from my phone
I'm a ******* loser
I'm sorry I can't yet
I didn't know you had trouble removing me from yours

I am not afraid of who i am
Nor am I scared of who I'll become

I'll use this as a lesson
In the school of life
Never believe what people say
Unless you stare them in the eyes