I  shrouded
my shame
behind blacked
out
sunglasses
and spiked my
lies with
deep
red wine .

It burns.
Badly.
The burning sensation
Can take over and ****.
But  you begin to like the burn.
Even crave it sometimes.
It's the kind of pain you secretly love.
Kind of like when you hurt someone you love,
Or when someone you love hurts you.
You know it's bad.
You know it's wrong.
But you just can't stop.
Because even though it's awful,
Even though it's painful,
Even though it's lethal,
It all hurts so good.

{alaska}

waiting for death
like a cat
that will jump on the
bed

I am so very sorry for
my wife

she will see this
stiff
white
body
shake it once, then
maybe
again

"Hank!"

Hank won't
answer.

it's not my death that
worries me, it's my wife
left with this
pile of
nothing.

I want to
let her know
though
that all the nights
sleeping
beside her

even the useless
arguments
were things
ever splendid

and the hard
words
I ever feared to
say
can now be
said:

I love
you.

I cant hold back
I have to attack
This negativity
Inside of me that
Is building a
Beat as it climbs
I cant rewind my
My mind from the
Negative as I testament
I cant deny this feeling
That keeps burning in me
In me
In me
Stay Damaged
Stay Damaged
I got to find
That inner fight
For the light
Or stay Damaged
Stay Damaged
As I free flow this
Time I feel I cant
Break free
Of this Damage
This Damage
The only thing
That can heal my
Heart is the light
That is just
Staring to spark
As I become
Less Damaged
Less Damaged
Cant give up the
Fight for the light
So that others can
Becomes less damaged
We have to help each other
To stay in positivity
Healing each other
In this free flow positive
As we move forward
In life trying to
Heal and create
Less Damage
For the earth
Less Damage
For each other
Less Damage
For ourselves
Less Damage
For our family
Less Damage
Less Damage.

The lights dim low,
a pathetic attempt to mask
the true beauty and art
that beholds in the darkness.

The music rises and the colors flash
the names flash like mosquito bites
they don't show the real important
names of faces in the room.

The actors dance on screen
like dust swirling on a highway
insignificant as compared to
the distraction that entrapped me.

The explosions pale like
a small flashlight pointed
upon a vast starry night sky,
it's brightness drowned by subtle beauty.

And the ****** of a kiss,
a mouth-watering scene
in slow motion looks like
a high speed chase compared
to my hand as it creeps slowly.

Tattered torn jeans,
with a box as a home.

Pleated, pressed suit,
with a box as a home.

The only difference,
is how it looks.

Her heart beat was a war drum.
It bumped and thumped,
as soldiers marched forward
to die for something they loved.

It's sound was a hum of life
such as the crashing of waves
as they break upon the shore
it lied in the beauty
of dependable repetition.

With every contraction
it delivered life.
One would've expected
the burden to be too great,
after all it's not always
that a heart must beat for two.

Oh symphony of swirls sweet and sour,
Sing of simple solutions to a broken heart.
Save me oh saint and savior of sullen souls
Save me so my soul may survive another battle.