I woke up high two days in a row.
My leather still has the faint smell of *** smoke.
Stuck back in this town surrounded by hills dotted with snow.
And I know for sure I'll never miss this place.
I said it everyday this week
As I try to slap myself awake.

I wanted to text her, but I couldn't think of the words to say.
And I could always blame it on the beer or the smoke.
But in reality I know it wouldn't have mattered either way.

But she'll still give me that sarcastic smile when our eyes lock.
And I'll say something to make her laugh.
With my tongue refusing to release the words I feel she wants me to say.
Because my mind is too busy getting lost in those Icy blue eyes.

I smile as I taste the blood in my mouth.
Not a lot nothing to be worried about.
Just pushing myself too hard again.
It's just what I do.

I had three chances to talk to her today.
All of which I blew.
I think she actually likes me.
But I'll probably over-think it.
It's just what I do.

I tend **** up a lot.
From not calling home to friends or family.
To getting drunk to the point where I almost got arrested.
It's just what I do.

But tomorrow's a new day.
And even if I have to work till everything hurts.
Till my pens all run dry and my brain goes mad.
I'll become more than what my parents dreamed me to be.
I promised my self that.
And I always do my best to keep my promises.
It's just what I do.

Once in awhile I like to pretend that I'm more than what I am.
I fall asleep and dream of my name on awards and of people lining up so I can sign my book for them.

Once in awhile I like to remember the past.
And I fall asleep and dream of ****** ****, cheap beer, nights filled with laughter, and kisses good morning.

But everyday I shake myself awake.
Because I still have to write that book.
And it's time for me to make new memories.

Because once in awhile is not enough for me.