I don't live in my past anymore.
I packed up and moved on.
I suppose that is why I told you of my childhood.
Its just odd to me.
Because I've never been open before.
I guess this is a start.

This is what you wanted.
So stop holding back.
Why do you care what these people think of you?
We both know that you want the real California.
And you'll get there.
But this is where you wanted to start.
*Make it count.

I've learned so many things in life are temporary.
Hell even life is only temporary.
But right now I don't know whats temporary and what is permanent.
Maybe I'll never know.
But I'm going to keep looking until I find permanent.
And I know I won't find it tomorrow.
But then again I just might.

I've been almost, I've been so close.
But I'm not done yet.
Not until I wake up for a California sunrise.
Not until a plane ride to a land where everything is new to me.
Not until I stand on top of lady liberty and look out at the city.
Not until a ****** burger king lunch with a friend who won't remember me.
Not until I dance with the girl who doesn't think we'll meet.
Not until I prove to myself that the words I write can feed me.
No only when I can look back and smile at what I leave behind.
Will I accept my own defeat.

Its too late and I think I need a drink.
Something that will make my throat burn.
At this point I don't even care if its coffee or *****.
I just want to sit here and let my mind blur.
Flash me pictures of my past or give me a glimpse of the future.
Just show me something.
Because when I look out my window all I see is black.
Maybe that's what I need to see right now.
I guess that's okay.
Just like I guess 2500 miles isn't that far away.

Darling please leave me be.
I know its only been a week since I walked away.
But don't run after me.
You're better off running the other way.
Because I can't take you where I'm going.
You wouldn't like it there anyways.

Everyone expects me to know what to do.
I'm supposed to be the one who knows where he's going.
I'm supposed to be the one who will make everyone proud.
I guess we're all in for a reality check.
Because a year from now if I have it my way.
All those expectations will be disappear.
Just like the bridges I crossed to get here.