Have patience with us.
Have patience with me.
I am,
like my species,
young.
Naive in mind,
Reckless in heart.
Wild in thought.
Spontaneous in action.
Good and evil are not born from sunlight.
They did not emerge from the soil.
Whether through confusion or fear,
we created it.

Have patience with us.
Have patience with me.
We build and oppress ourselves.
Constantly raging violent wars.
Closing and opening wonderful doors.
Heaven and hell
exist
inside of us.
It's our choice which one
spills
into the universe.
Though our history seems so vast  
so countless,
we are still
young.

Have patience with us.
Have patience with me.
Singing and screaming into a sky full of stars,
hoping that someone will take pity on us,
will understand us.
will guide us.
So far no one has.
So we build our own towers.
Fabricate our own explanations.
Dig our feet in the dirt and defiantly say,
"We know the truth!"

Forgive us.
We are young.
We know nothing but think we know it all.
I think I know it all, but I know nothing.
I am young.
Forgive me.

Have patience with us.
Have patience with me.
In the quiet vastness,
our planet was born.
We crawled from the sea.
Filled our lungs with oxygen.
Molded our bodies to the craft.
Forged our minds to the art.
Millenias of trial and error,
leading us to this moment.
Never forget.
We are young.
Though cruelty persists,
virtue exists.
Always remember.
We will survive.
We will overcome.
We still have a hopeful spark
in our dying world.
A species of dreamers
whispering into the unknown,
"Have patience with us.
Have patience me."

If the human body is composed of billions of atoms coexisting for a purpose, then what does that say about our souls within the universe?

If not for those tiny atoms, I would waste away, a vibrating mass of electrical pulses and confusion.

But together, connected,  something wondrous is made. Albeit no less confusing, but able to comprehend morality and beauty.

In that truth, I feel so.. miniscule,
and it leaves me speechless.

The farther I travel, and the wider my vision becomes, the smaller I become.
But there is no weakness found there, I find strength beyond measure.

I find within me, within all of us,
a complex being floating within the cosmos that in all possibility could be another being searching for meaning in the stars floating behind their eyes.

I found you standing in a field, dancing to music I couldn't hear.

The world spun slowly while my heart pumped quickly and the unbalance I found left me feeling quite... sickly.
Your eyes met mine and I melted away, falling and spinning with nothing to say...
I heard words whispering in the back of my mind and I didn't listen, finding bliss in the fall, but slowly and surely, as I tried thinking purely, the words reached my senses...

  "Love makes fools of us all."

I looked to my side as you were holding my hand and I remembered...
I am merely a haunting who walks through this land.
Then my hand dropped through yours like water in sand...

Now I am back to my senses, somewhat numb from the fall
to keep speaking and searching,
always walking through walls.

Hopefully you remain by my side like an lovely room I can haunt and we can smile and laugh away...

Forever I'll see you waltzing so softly through fog and yes,
I'm still bleeding like wounds from a flog
but scars can be hidden like my soul was meant to be...

Somewhere in shadow and words they can't read.


You will always be dancing in the back of my head to the music of midnight, the beat of the drum.
I am sorry for being such a sad apparition,
you were an unraveling seam,
a beautiful dream,
my heart was pleading not to wake from...

Into the woods my path may go,
where flora whispers to shadow below
Lose your feet then you might see
my phantom in the willow tree.

Perhaps the mountains call my name
to catch a beast no storm can tame.
With every precipice I'd know
an answer hidden in the snow.

But every stream heads to the sea,
where depths are raging, wild and free.
Endless waves, a soul of blue,
the water sings for me and you.

The sky may be a road as well,
far beyond the gates of hell.
May clouds and starlight fill my eyes
until my "wandering" finally dies.

Paths to travel, roads to meet.
I feel the world beneath my feet.
The universe has opened wide,
for heart and mind to step inside.

I've been living as a flame without oxygen, warmth and fury underneath the skin without a means to breathe.
Attached to that which gives me life,
or at least the illusion of it.
Fire needs fuel
A spark remains
This world is cruel.
Oh please explain
Why do I feel my spirit growing weaker every day?

The energy from within is not what it used to be,
and I am the only one to blame.
Relying on fleeting sustenance
while the true hunger
wears and tears
my cares and prayers
making me think I'm beyond repair.
I've been searching for nourishment in all the wrong places,
while my soul accepts defeat
and my embers all deplete.

Yet...
that voice has never silenced.
"It's not too late to change.
It's never too late to change.
Stop your life and rearrange,
the puzzle of existence that seems so concrete."

If my essence is fire,
then let it become
Unbound.
Untethered.
Expound.
Unweathered.
Give me strength to burn away the artificial reality I have created;
become a creature beyond reason.
**A dying phoenix on a path to be reborn.

Our laws are complete and completely flawed for we will never understand.
Men and women are by-products of chaos and order.
Our understanding of the universe?
God exists in you and me.
God is made of light. .
We are light.
I am light.
Am
I?

)I(
A fire does not die. It simply transcends into another form.
We do not create.
We simply borrow.
We do not destroy.
We simply manipulate.
We build machines and set conveyor belts to make efficiency close to perfect.
Even if we reach it,
energy is wasted.
Thrown out.
Collected by nothing and turned into chaos.
Everything burns.
And we fall apart.
God is neither here nor there.
)II(
The world we see is order complete.
But of course this is a lie.
The atmosphere stays in place.
Contains our world.
Gives us air.
Life in an isolated system can't run at perfection.
But energy runs away like a thief in the night.
Entropy.
Entropy increases.
Chaos becomes more than order can control.
Thus is the way of the universe.
God is wasted energy.
)III(
We become nothing.
The sun will die and so will you.
Perhaps merely the idea of you will.
Perhaps you never existed at all.
When time stops and
time will
d e f i n i t e l y
stop,
only chaos will remain.
Frozen chaos in nothing at all.
Entropy does not decrease.
The clock ticks down as light wastes away.
Darkness fades away.
Chaos in nothing.
God exists in nothing and everything.

I
Am.
I am chaos.
We are burning.
God loves merely order.
All we love is made of chaos.
As light fades, probability of more increases
We understand more than nothing and all laws are conventions.
You and I are all the energy in the universe and in our progress we slowly fade away...

Why the winds of change surround, that in that split pivotal moment, I succumb to my only weakness; the hell in your eyes.
A hell I found swimming there like fire shimmering against the void seemed to be a candle leading me through places never I have found myself before; a new pathway dimly lit in the darkness.

Let me prove I'm alive.
Hear my voice and gather your mind. I'll sing like a sparrow anyway. Illuminating smile through the daylight into the depths of the jade night sky, can you tell that I'm alive?
My candle flame may be faint, with sharp winds.
Huddle the light left, to regain your effervescence once more.
For me.
That light calling against the shadows like winged musical notes dancing through luminescent fog slowly brightens an otherwise crestfallen and ill favored forest;
a pathway leading towards something better than where we may have previously been.
A reverse entropy catching the darkness and casting it where our skin may be rid of it.

I call out a name and an echo murmers back my longing.

Still straining with such force. An implicating smirk.
Ain't that funny...
I know what you're thinking. I can hear through the whispers your spewing.
When you're gone, I'm afraid someone will take my place.
But I won't stop breathing,
and as far as you know, I'm still dreaming.
These dark trees are trembling and every leaf swaying through the lifeless glances you break. Take my hand, walk with me. Let me reminisce these memories of us.
Though memories fade like photographs motionless in the light,
a spectral imprint is left behind like the lips of a ghost visiting in the night.
The mark you leave is a map in my dreams that leads me to treasures that can barely seem
a treasure at all in its mysterious madness because I fight for happiness in the blissful sadness.
A sadness I breathe in the vanishing of you.
Of me or for me, cause it's not like it seems.
A facade so well disguised.
You'd think the life would fall from her captivating eyes. A humble remark, I've pondered a few. But this lashing of thoughts is tattered and sorted. I feel as if I'm falling through the cracks of this foundation. if we crumble, tell me please that you'll feel better.
Those intertwined fingertips are slipping through the gaps.
Though if your sadness tears you up. I'll stand by, listening.
Because your silence is as deafening to me as the heart strings being torn from its base. Thumping in and out time with this meaningless state. And if I ramble in this space. Remind me the reasons. Don't leave me stranded in this range.

*To abandon you would be to abandon myself, alone and forgotten on the side of the road while cars fly like stars past the loneliest bars where I sit drinking whiskey to drown thoughts of you.
A bittersweet truth that none can avoid,
who float through the hallways like phantoms in empty homes...
is that no matter if you touch my skin and kiss my lips,
alone shall I forever be
past a wall you can't breach with a legion of screams.

I must be filled with electrical outlets because people are constantly plugging in.


And my extension cord must be too short because I can never reach anyone else

How do you lay flowers
on a grave
of something still alive?
Haunted by
the amogheist,
do we mourn
or
should we rage?

To be aflame
in the throes
of passion,
warm and comfortable
only to remember
how cold
the world can seem
when fires
are extinguished.

Memory can be
a blessing,
or a curse.
Do we haunt
or are we haunted?
Left with words unsaid
and eyes
bathed of
fading moonlight.

Grateful to be reminded
of a flame
thought dead,
but lamenting
the knowledge
of how fleeting
it can
be.

I write this with the knowledge that I may never see the sun again.
We are the only creatures on this planet who know they will die someday.

...and yet...

We still persist.
Day after day and night after night.
Working and slaving.
Fight after fight.

Sure.
Sometimes there are few of us who have the advantages in society and the benefits of wealth to make life worth living.
""I've been sky diving, rocky mountain climbing.
I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying."

How much do you have in your bank account?
I am cynical.
I know this.
You don't need to tell me that.

But sometimes there are people who, with all of this knowledge, press on and do it for the thrill of the battle.
Some live just because they want to survive.
Some live because they are scared of death.
Some live because they love the feeling of breathing.
Some live because the absence of it confuses them.

Why do I live?

Well.

That is an interesting question.

The stars were whispering
and the fire was snickering.

Now here I am listening to nature just bickering.

I think I might whistle along.




Care to join?

-Joshua

The honeysuckle blooms,
emitting fumes,
of blissful change
and sweet delight.

The dripping of nectar
through colorful rays,
soothe and sway
an endless day.

A season to die,
a season to grow,
an ocean of time,
the ebb and flow.

Winter is waiting with songs left unsung,
but now it is winter and life is still young.

The parade is passing while children are throwing candy unknowingly laced with poison into the open palms of those blinded by chasing the American dream all the way into the open grave dug by those who planted false ideas and needs.
I am hiding in art galleries and sneaking through back alleys to remain in silence and pick up as much candy as possible.
I am just a periferal glimpse with noble attempts, but their eyes are as jaded as my heart tries to be and perhaps I am seen as a vagabond without meaning or purpose.
If I can **** the poison in at least one vein, then perhaps dealing with the grey skies can be worth it.

Give me another song to lay me to sleep. Turn me once more
the last page of a beautiful novel.

Give me more sunrises as sunsets
and a torrent of raindrops to cleanse me of the dirt I carry around on my soul.

Break open the coffin I keep building around myself,
pull me into the universe.
Let me swim in clear water and watch the hairs on my skin ripple,
like tiny nerves longing to feel.

Open my eyes to things I've never seen,
all I wish to understand
and close them to all I must let go,
the chains that keep me fastened.

Help me to become a fire in a lonely forest and guide me to breathtaking sights and heavenly sounds.

...so one day I could guide others there as well...

I want to fall into the arms of nothing
before the cold enters my bones
and freezes my spirit.

I want to laugh in the face of darkness before becoming the punchline.

I'd rather die with my boots on,
full of life
and a warm roaring flame,
than stumble into the snow
and collapse;
the blizzard of time stealing  
my hope for a better tomorrow.

I pray to you, soul of the colors, and Lord of the stars.

Give me strength to never surrender the aroha coursing through my veins.
If the laughter and music fades,  
allow the shadow to clasp my hand
and lead me away from the temptation of deterioration and apathy.
Allow me to be free.

If you are descending,
unsure of whether you can rise again,
then be sure to descend beautifully.

I am a a toy in your hands.
A novelty to dance and sing.
The fool on stage to quote a line or two and smile away at you.
But the curtain draws and the toy grows old.
I walk the empty stage and the audience has left, leaving silence, the loudest of sounds.
When the costume is off and the truth of me is shown. I hang my head in shame and long to vanish into nowhere.
Perhaps it is just a paranoia but it leaks into my core and I don't know where to hide when I cannot hide from myself.
Perhaps I fear the toy will one day lose its shine and become another dusty figurine hanging on the wall with the rest of those who live in grey.
I hope not.

I only take orders from my commanding officer and the woman lying on top of me.

Burn a bridge between you and I,
if that's truly what you want.

But...
Let's hope,
for your sake,
I do not survive.

'Cause if I do,
I'll come back stronger.

I'll build it once more,
frame by frame,
for the sole purpose
of walking across,
to drag you to your knees.
in front of
me.


...before burning it back down myself...

It's our choice to gaze into the crushing weight of hell and howl the word
"No."
It is not our job.
Not our duty.
Of this we are not required.
With ease can we close our eyes and allow despair and time to rot our bones, decay our souls;
gently allowing ourselves to become a
fractured stranger.

This is our choice,
no matter where the fingers may point.
Though death may take us
and pain may shape us,
by our own volition do we decide the internal outcry against malevolent depths.

Find the strength of a mountain fighting the year.
or silently hoard through bank vaults of fear.
Persevere or surrender yourself.
Against the weight.

Choose your fate.

Words and words
Words and words.
I love to see these words and words.

But I gotta say,
don't mean to be rude...
Stop ******* and moaning
and get over the dude.

Words and words
Pages of words.
I can't dispute these souls, these words.

But when more often than not
(and this happens a lot)
the girls are tweeting
a #lovesickthought

I love these words
and I'd hate to be a ****...

(That was a lie, it was said with a smirk)

but I think I'll have to start avoiding
these tweeny love poems... they're ******* annoying.




-A personal note from Joshua