I found you in between days of childhood and days of old age.
I found you in the pages of all of my favorite books.
I found you singing quietly in the back of the class,
thinking no one could hear you but I did.
I did, and I saw your face and I thought,
if there is a god up there,
he's smiling on those blue eyes and that grin.
That grin of yours that made my knees buckle into each other and
filled my heart with so much blood
I thought it would burst when it beat.

But what I didn't see was behind that grin
you were hurting.
You were hurting and you didn't want to tell anybody
because you felt weak and big boys don't cry
but I found you and
I knew you before I even learned your name
and when I did learn your name I loved you
It hurt me that you didn't love you too.
It hurt me how you said no I'm not every time I kissed your face and said you were beautiful.
It hurt me that you said
you're too nice to me, I don't deserve this.
You deserve love this night and every kiss upon your lips
until the day your heart trembles for the last time.
Until you die you deserve this.

There is nothing wrong,
there is nothing *****,
there is nothing un-beautiful
about you just being you.
Cause you, you are my everything.
You're it.  
Sometimes I want to swallow you whole
and have you walk around my skin for days,
walk around with you in me burning like a star,
walk around with the taste of your heart in my mouth
because I am so moved by you some days
I can taste it.
I can taste it and its beautiful.
I want your sticky nasty sweaty days,
I want your tears that you pretend don't fall,
I want your teeth sinking into the soft spots
you are holy.
You are holy, you are like religion
and I don't need a church to tell me
that there is faith in your mouth and
all encompassing love in your scars and
forgiveness and hope
in the way you fit with me
you are holy.

I know you have fought
wars with yourself and
wars with me and
wars with everyone else.
I know you are a soldier fighting yourself,
I know that your favorite color is blue
cause it matches the veins in my wrists
and I know, I know that I'll never find more joy than in your lips
saying my name in your sleep

Sometimes I just think about your hands
and all the things you do with them
when you aren't talking.
Your hands are my favorite piece of you
If you press your chest to mine
if we hold each other for a bit of time,
our hearts will start to beat in sync.
Our hearts will start to beat into each other like
marching drums tapping out each measure.
I want our hearts to beat together.
I want the bells of your laughter.
I want to swing from the rafters like kids on monkey bars.
I want to spend my years counting all the stars
in your eyes
You called me at three in the morning.
I was too sleepy to comprehend I love you
but I'm sure glad you said it

“No, never her, not that girl”
Little did they know that her web of lies was waiting to unfurl.
Beauty, brains, she had it all as some would say,
But depression became the predator and she the prey.
Confidence that others would **** for,
A mask of self-assurance she wore.
How could one who had everything going for her,
Become her own saboteur?
Ran, she did for months, even years,
Hoping this question would eventually disappear.
“Are you okay?” “Yes, I’m fine,”
Others never knowing the desolation that haunted her mind.
Feelings, earnest thoughts, locked away, hidden on a shelf,
And in the process she buried herself.
Into a hole she thought she could never escape,
Till one day she’s found in a bed wearing a hospital cape.
“No, never her, not that girl,”
Little did they know that her web of lies was waiting to unfurl.

With death
I send
My regards.

To the grave
I place
My spirit.

To the ashes
I dissolve
My soul.

To you
I conclude
That death

Contours
Eternity
And his form.