love

you

deeply

D
e
e
p
l
y

.
..
.
..
.
.
.
..
.
.I love you..

7th

July2013:
July...i went for a bike ride
in the sun...and i felt
weak.
weak...
I got sick
i coughed and coughed
my bones feeling weak
i just stayed in the darkness of my room
watching movies
of love...

i felt better
and i went to the middle of town
with my lovely sister
came back home
from the sun
and i got more sick
so i took that month to be dead in my own brain
and played games
and dreaming of biking soon

By the end i felt better
back to my self
and i saw my friend janessa in the mall
she was appyling for a job
so we sat down and we talked
and laugh
just old times
it was very nice

i went back home and slept
and july was gone

my skin has been dripping from my pillow
to the wood gaps on my floors
the sun creeping through my curtain
my room is dark a bit of shine comes in
and rests upon my tanned skin
and fingers are floating
the music is honey to my brain
i think of you in the deepness of my coffee
i see you glimmering
smiling me that smile
you have
i wanna  laugh with you
right now
and let the clouds become  a place
of pure numbess
in your trembling in your arms

uggg i have words now
now i have them in my mouth
oh i wanna say it!
MAYBE it will change your mind
about choosing me
MAYBE it will make you come back?
I HAVE words now
leaking at my **** tongue
"am i beautiful?"
YES you are
you
but how do you want me to describe
your golden brown hair resting your rosemerry cheek
and how do i decribe the way your  upper lip is could pale
and your bottom lip rose pink!
and the way your upper lip rests sofly upon your bottom lip
HOW do i decribe
these words
that taste like honey
because there are sweet, my words
" this song is amazing!"
no its not!
it is something more
how do i describe the way a certain  beat reminds  me  of your beating heart
upon my chest
how do i describe the way it makes my heart
and my bones dance
HOW
oh i have words now
of my problems
how do i scream them out
so evertthing will be better
and my  happy parts
how do i laugh them out
for they are gorogeus!

OH I HAVE WORDS NOW
clinging on my teeth pouring off my tongue
I HAVE WORDS NOW
and i dont know how to say them...

i still want

your flower
body

will you
let me have it

one more time

i have this pain in my neck,

you see, i have it since fall started

its my constant reminder
that my mind still lingers
on the skinny splinter
of you...

the trail thats on  the map of my past
keeps going back around

theres no  road out...
there really isn't
i've tried
i have failed

6th month

June2013:
Broke in with a crazy  light
that came from the sun

June...
Melted my brain
and the last of my personality
as i started my regular routine of biking
around the city

summer! was coming
oh i was excited

oh...it started raining
to much
the river started raising
and reached  the bridges
all the houses that we at the end of the hill
got flooded
My city was in a worry state
it rained for two days straight
then  the sun came out
and looked like nothing ever happened in my city

i saw my friend janessa
and we sat in a childs park in a green field
and we talked about the plans we had for the summer
we laughed
and spend 20 mins eating goldfish crackers
or her trying to feed me one...

i walked home from the train
one day
with a smile on my face
through my favorite field
and i thought to myself

"oh i cant wait too see what this summer holds for me"