Autumn

Autumn Oct 2015

Untitled

His lips are fire
Eyes opaque beautiful
His artificial smile is sweet as honey
His thought darkest I have ever heard
Infatuation or interest
Experimentation or love
His broken wings will not be fixed by her scarred hands
Her words forgotten he allows himself to leave
And she breaks once more

I can't even think about what would happen if he committed suicide. I've told counselors and he just lies to them and I think he seriously has some issues going on like schizophrenia or multi personality disorder I'm not trying to diagnose him but he has something wrong and won't accept help. Yet he tells me not to let him **** himself when he wont accept any help? What do you do then?

Autumn Oct 2015

Journey

Flap flap flap
She flew until she could fly no more
She fell until she landed, took hold of a branch
And this branch broke so she grabbed a hand
This hand let go
She grasped the walls and her fingers gave way
She landed
Stood up and stumbled away

Autumn Oct 2015

Tripping back in

I don't know where to start.
To go back down that path I once held everything in.
This use to be the community that held all my secrets, where I felt safe.
And now it's like a distant memory but I am ever searching for it to be rekindled
Because maybe I strayed away and am ready to come back
This is where I let the tears fall during the darkest times
So now that the time is lighter, that I have escaped the hole somehow
Now that I am okay and I can say that without wincing
It is difficult to reflect
But I am
How do I help him when he is reminding me of the scars so much when his issues are exactly what brought me down?
How do I save him when I don't know how I saved myself?
I don't know if I will fall again or fall that hard
I'm scared to because those were the worst years of my life and maybe I've just begun ignoring it more
But I am okay. And he is not.
And the mystery still stands how do I help him when he doesn't want to get better?
This cycle is never ending and I cannot leave
Shall I fall and trip or will someone pull me away?

Autumn Sep 2015

Untitled

Her little birdie fell
And did not fly
She was not caught
And broke her wing
Withering
A
W
A
Y
Thinking she flew, she passes into the bitter sweet end

Autumn Sep 2015

Once more

I took a breath and I couldn't stop
And they kept coming
Over and over
And one more they came
Never ending and becoming all I could hear
The blood in my ears wrapping
My heart beating
Boom
Boom
Boom and my breath shatters
The cries fill the air and tears stain my cheeks
Because once more have I broken
Have I fallen down
This black hole grasping at my toes
But taking all of me every last strand
Until I'm someone else
That I still don't like
Because I can't look at myself
I may throw up
I can't breath
I can't go out and come back okay
And I can't talk to anyone
Because they're all wrapped up in their own little worlds
While they lean on me
Trying to stand on their own and falling
While I fall apart as I stand

Autumn Jun 2015

hypocrites

she asks why do I complain?
why do I hate school?
why do I ask to stay home every single day?
oh so many reasons.
I do not enjoy being surrounded by the majority of brain dead, humans that literally have no substance.
I do not enjoy being talked down to by teachers who cannot control anything else in their life except the pupils
I do not enjoy being told that my education is a gift when my entire education is based upon taking a test.
everyday...
you don't really need this but it will be on the regents.
you don't need to know this..
all from my teachers mouths
and yet you expect me to be intrigued upon matters that you yourself state I do not "need" to know?
and once more who are you to determine the magnitude of the effect that information you have chosen to withhold?
yes I am privileged yes I am lucky yes I am thankful
because I have the opportunity to even notice these flaws in society.
yet I am also plagued with the corruption of my" knowledge"
as are you
ever seeking the true answer
reaching out for something that will grasp the endings of imaginative thinking
something ******* worth learning
everyone goes on and on about how corrupt politics are (which they are) and about how our society is full of **** yet no one does anything
we are being taught to think alike to be the same
we are being classified and accepting it
when this is the thing in which you preach upon hating
so yes I will kick that soap box out from under your feet for you are no better than the politician
and so it goes on
...

I do this in life and people get flustered and I find it hilarious

Jun 2015

rose14195

Love text

Do you honestly love me?:Him

Her:Does my answer matter to you? Because no matter what I say you still won't love yourself.