Feeling your breathe on my neck through and through, arousing my feelings and desires
Desires I knew wouldn't be met by the end of the day
Feelings I knew wouldn't be expressed are that time
Sliding your fingers through my thighs,
For a moment I thought I had worn a wet pant
The wetness was something I would have loved to explore further,
But that too wasn't possible.
Am left with unexplored feelings, desires.
Once again.

What did I ever do wrong to you,
That you keep hurting me
Over and over and over
I am patient with you
I never ask for explanations,
Explanations for stood up dates
Explanations for unreturned calls
Explanations for texts that go un answered.
I love you!
Probably more than a person should
Do you even think about me at all?
After standing me up on dates
Are you even bothered at all at the thought of texts I sent and you didn't reply
Do you even get the urge to return my calls at all
Why, why do you do this to me
Am sorry if I did anything unforgivable
Am sorry if I ever hurt you
Am sorry you in this relationship
Am sorry that you strain to be with me
I know I've tried my best, done my best
I know I have loved you, still do,so much
I know I have given you your space,
Sorry if you felt am too much
I have to hold back my tears
Coz, I have cried so much, so much
This love, that I feel for you is killing me
When I die, don't even bring your breath to my funeral.

Why do I miss you so much though?
Now that you have probably given up on me,
You went quiet without nay explanation
My pride gets the better of me, I can't bring myself to texting you or calling you.
Now that I decided to face my fear and drop a text,
You didn't reply
We communicate professionally on emails
Work related.
You view my status and don't say a thing
I swallow my pride again to text you 'i miss you'
That too go un replied.
I decide to just call and get over it,
Call too not picked.
I don't know why I feel this way
Fear of rejection of being walked out on.
Fear of loosing in my own game.
I don't love love you, I swear,
But I loved loved the attention
The constant calls that sometimes I wouldn't pick intentionally
The annoying 'i love ' texts that I never replied!
This is how it feels to be ghosted?
Gosh, just come back, I need to win this game.
I can't live knowing you are the one that walked away
I can't stand being ghosted,
Gosh, I miss the flirts, the attention, the love
I know it's selfish, but I do miss you
Maybe for the wrong reasons but,
I miss you.

I will not complain that you left me..
Because.
Every minute that you stared at me, made me feel that I look beautiful too..
Every laugh you shared with me, made me feel that I can be happy too..
Every touch of you made me realize that I still can feel love..
Every moment that I spent with you made me feel that life can be beautiful
Yes, I will not complain that you left me…
I will wait for your return..if not this life.. Next life it is..

I am done loving too much,  
I am done specifically with you
Loving you has caused me so much pain,  
I have sacrificed so much,  putting you first.  
I have crossed the line several times,  just for you.
All am left with is nothing but pieces of me.
Pieces of the broken dark pale skin, body and soul.  
I will be up,  in fact am up already..
I am working towards letting go,  
At the same time,  am learning to be just a friend to you.
It's hard,  it is a suicide mission,  
But i can't loose this friendship,  it means so much to me.
Growing up,  i have learnt,  still learning how to deal with heartbreaks and the people responsible.  
I have learnt not to blame the other party,  i allowed it to happen,  over and over again.  
If anything,  i saw the red flag,  i kept convincing myself 'grrh it's nothing,  it will go away'
Now it's time, time to rise up.  
Time to start all over again,  after life has slapped and kicked me to the ground.
This is not the first time this has happened,  
And probably won't be the last,  
I have always been a survivor,  this is nothing.

Deep in my heart, i knew i felt something. I didnt know how to describe it, i didnt know whether to explore it, i was a wimp, i couldnt even if i tried. Years passed and the feeling never faded away. Reached a point i couldnt hold back anymore and decided to explore this-what i felt. I knew it was gonna be full of challenges, i knew it wasn't right, i knew it would be a dead end but i just had to give it a try. Something kept pushing me so hard, i couldnt resist. With all the ups and downs we have gone through together, even the worst of the worst, never a single day or moment have i ever regreted giving this-us-a try. Being with you, knowing you love me as much as i do, having this mutual strong feeling of love means so much to me. I am not ready to let you go, i dont think i ever will in my heart. Your birthday passed, actually your birthdays have passed and never once have i ever wished or given you a b. Day gift, today i get to give you all the kisses for all the birthdays i missed. You mean so much to me, you really do mean the world to me. I love you,so much! I love you.

I can feel hopelessness in between your texts,
I can feel hopelessness in your voice
I understand your fears,
Whenever you tell me that youll be the last thing i want to see or hear from one day, my heart breaks
You are scared that it will all end one day
I am scared too but i choose not to think about it.
I choose to be positive about us and enjoy every moment with my blindfold on
Coz, i only want to think of you at that moment.
I only want to see you at that moment.
Please lets do this together,shall we.
I love you so so much, i dont wish to think of an ending.
When it all ends, my prayer is, i hope i will be strong enough to face the world without you in it.
You have no idea how much i love you deeply,  you have noo idea.