I want you to know that this transition is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I keep fighting with the visions I had when we tied the knot but that's all it is, a vision. What I need out of a partner and what you need, we both fell short. Maybe that's why we always used drugs. I just want us both to live long, healthy, and meaningful lives. I believe that is no longer with one another. It doesn't matter about the love inside me for you. The bigger picture displays something more. Something that doesn't involve us being high to cope with our foundations. If I didn't feel life wants us to be apart, I would never push forward. But the way the majority of the lies just surface without any action and the way you were able to go forward with them, paints the answer to the hardest question I've ever dealt with. That we are no longer meant to be. I will always love u amber and care about your well being. I'm just no longer going to be the one who puts you down and you are no longer going to be the one who lets me down. Finish this next week strong. Being sober in a controlled environment is not nearly as difficult as being sober in the free world. Don't forget that. Take everything thing you can from that place and engrave it into your heart and brain. Realize the biggest enemy here was the drugs that robbed us both of more then we will ever know. Beyond cherishing a sober mind, it's all about hating the thing that took the most from you. Let me know if you need anything.

Straight out of a book, her life crafts pages
The lover who waits until the leaves fall off the trees
and all the people go home, leaving the streets as empty
as the box buried under her porch with all the places
she's never been
Why does the sky spell your name once the candle's burnt out
and lust becomes a taunting game?
The shallow part of the soul has a hole in it
and every time I try to mend it, it gets bigger
Bigger like the stories of love that fill her head
A romance that dances with the stars but will leave you
as fast as the wind will blow that plastic bag into the sky
When you touch fire, the burn never disappears
She will though
Off to the next novel with different storylines but similar endings
Off to the next heart she can dive into and tell a story about the girl
who was looking for something deeper
Something that's worth keeping you awake at night
Something, at one point, I thought we had
My chapter was different though, I believe
My burn never healed
and the years dripped away until our worlds were striped of paint
and all of life was brushed up and tossed into that box under her porch, with just enough space to add something more
I hear a whisper in the wind telling me the depths of life is
consumed by a portrait that doesn't exist yet
and time is only relevant to those who aren't searching deeper
I hear you
and feel your heart
pounding under the silence left in me from the night I realized you
weren't coming home
and my love was kept in a glass heart that she now uses to keep her books straight
Though every once in awhile, you hold it and think of the boy
who's heart was just enough to last until the end
To last until you closed the book and start writing again

Straight out of a book, her life crafts pages
The lover who waits until the leaves fall off the trees
and all the people go home, leaving the streets as empty
as the box buried under her porch with all the places
she's never been
Why does the sky spell your name once the candle's burnt out
and lust becomes a taunting game?
The shallow part of the soul has a hole in it
and every time I try to mend it, it gets bigger
Bigger like the stories of love that fill her head
A romance that dances with the stars but will leave you
as fast as the wind will blow that plastic bag into the sky
When you touch fire, the burn never disappears
She will though
Off to the next novel with different storylines but similar endings
Off to the next heart she can dive into and tell a story about the girl
who was looking for something deeper
Something that's worth keeping you awake at night
Something, at one point, I thought we had
My chapter was different though, I believe
My burn never healed
and the years dripped away until our worlds were striped of paint
and all of life was brushed up and tossed into that box under her porch, with just enough space to add something more
I hear a whisper in the wind telling me the depths of life is
consumed by a portrait that doesn't exist yet
and time is only relevant to those who aren't searching deeper
I hear you
and feel your heart
pounding under the silence left in me from the night I realized you
weren't coming home
and my love was kept in a glass heart that she now uses to keep her books straight
Though every once in awhile, you hold it and think of the boy
who's heart was just enough to last until the end
To last until you closed the book and start writing again

The monsters that were in my closet as a child now wear masks and tell me they love me
That tree was cut down and our carved initials in the heart was shredded into a million pieces then buried in the ground with you.
The package never said how long the bulb would last though it did say fragile
Fragile like the wings on a butterfly
Fragile like my heart
When all words start to sound the same and that switch in the kitchen was left unknown,  i laugh at rain and cry when it’s sunny

I stopped telling you your name and hid from the clock
Tick tock
The minute hand is never surprised
But I am
And truthfully, theres no hiding from it
I can see 3 different ones as i write this
As this writes me
I’m shooken
That’s all
Balancing on what’s left of my shrinking hope
Holding my breath as she tightens the rope
That once so lonely wind now holds me close
As I walk past our house a soulless ghost