I put my cigarette out over my heart right next to where I have your named tattooed on me forever.
A morbid ritualistic reminder of the night where your lies finally caught up, and it’s either up or down again
An even playing field covered in broken glass and selfish mindless actions
Though as my mind races, nothing is even and the thought of glass cuts seems inviting compared to catching you in another lie for this last one crippled me for months as you watched high on the side lines.

I found myself stuck in the trust you smeared and the lies that keep surfacing
The woman I married eye's have turned dark and all I want to do is see the light I fell in love with
A shadow of the love we once had taunts my every beat and I
Feel like dying

Smoke me like your cigarette
Then toss me in the trash
Consume me like your pills
Then forget me as you crash
The moon is now so dull
Those stars in your eyes no longer shine
I took you to my heart
You watched as I laid dying
The last man you loved overdosed
By now I understand why
You give you heart away
The hide behind the blinds
When lies start to catch up
And the truth has gone away
A pain takes over ones body
A voice screams take away my days
I saw us growing old
I saw you as my life
I kissed you under the alter
I gave you all that was mine
When you can no longer trust your wife
The world seizes to spin
All has fallen down
My emotions in a pen

Please cut open my heart and remove any expectations
Every beat I bleed with  disappointment
Every thump reminds me of the promises
You broke
Please cut off these wings and mount them
on the wall
Every flight is not high enough
Every flap is incomplete
Please stop saying you love me when you’realways so high
Every pill you take is another brick
Every brink you place is forming a wall that will one day separate us
Please don’t close your eyes
Every night I fear you won’t wake up
Every time you sleep I’m stuck awake
wondering if this will be your last breathe

I followed the path that had signs to sunflowers
When I arrived, everything was dead
The full moon no longer shines and a dark cloud have been chasing my every step.
Living with sadness is like receiving a broken instrument
A printer with no ink
A car with no wheels
I stopped fighting it
  Existing as a shell of the man I once was shoveling dirt on the man I could of been
Watching the clocks lie
The silence is deafening
and
hope taunts me out of reach