We always took small things for granted
The smile of a stranger walking by
The wave of a friend from across the hall
The small talk with the cashier
It was these nothings
That made our day whole
And now we are without them
Wondering when we’ll get more

I was that person
The one who didn’t belong to a group
To nerdy to be cool,
To cool to be a nerd,
To smart to hang with the *******,
To lazy to study with the studiers

It took me 16 years to find a group,
At least larger than the handful of friends I made here and there,
But they were all seniors
Quickly they gathered their things and left
And once again, I was alone

It took me 16 ******* years to be happy
It took me 16 ******* years of crying myself to sleep,
Because I didn’t know who to call my people
It took me 16 ******* years to belong
But only two weeks for it to fall apart

I was always that person
Who didn’t belong
The puzzle piece to a different set,
The plate that was replaced,
The socks that ruin the outfit
And now I’m here
Wishing I fit in

I tell people I have a normal life
What I mean is
I don’t go to parties, I never sneak out
I don’t just leave without saying goodbye
Then I look at some of my friends
I see their version of “normal”

Every night is another night of getting high
Sitting in moonlit parks until the sun starts to rise
I see groups I don’t belong in
Crawling out from under bridges
Running from rats that infest the playgrounds
And I wonder, how much did I miss?

16 years
It took me 16 years to find someone
It took me 16 years to live
It took me 16 years to ******* belong
And just like that
It all disappeared

I look at others and their “normal” lives
And I wonder
Why wasn’t that me?

“Every body is a temple”
Something that gets said often
But my temple is old
Moss grows on the windows
And weathered steps lead to oaken doors
Laying off their hinges

With the right care,
The right exercise,
The dilapidated temple that is my body
Can grow stronger once again

My family heard that I’m graduating early
They sent a card, a cap, gown, and lei

The card full of love
Best wishes
And hopes that I can celebrate soon

The cap made of cardboard
With my great grandma’s Micky Mouse cap
A tassel attached
Found in the street with a copper ”2020”

The gown so old
My grandma doesn’t remember who’s it is
With a lei —a family tradition— ready to be worn

We were more than a school
We were a community
We supported each other
We brought each other back when we were upset
We challenged everyone to think more, think harder

We were more than classmates and teachers
We were family
We cared when someone said they had a problem
We helped when we could
We made each other better, brighter

We were more than students
We were teachers
And I miss it more every minute

Demos I say,
YOU KNOW!

Never again will I walk those halls
Trying to bypass the large groups of students
So that I’m not late for class

Never again will I see Mr. Edwards
Attempting to teach a new set of words every day
Before teaching us professional video production

Never again will I walk into the Middle College office
Just to play a game
Or help solve people’s problems
While skipping the one class I have to take

I won’t get those moments again
And I didn’t know the last time would be the last

If I did
I would’ve walked slower
I would’ve listened closer
I would’ve thought harder
I would’ve helped more