I can’t freestyle
No I can’t freestyle

Stream of conciousness
Is the best you can hope for

Haven’t you ever heard of
Poetry in motion?
The concept of the brain working in cycles
The idea that metaphors are
Paramount
And the idea that words are the bond

Clearly not
You’re shocked
And rocked to the core
Every time someone opens their mouth
You adore
The rhyme
You believe it’s a crime to
Have words that don’t connect well
Well to that I say
I’ve made a shotty friend today
Your tongue is trigger happy
But you’ve got nothing to say

This is
what I’m doing
From here-on-out

College was a bust
Why am I continuing
With degrees I’ll never use?

Everything’s considered

*******— but I’m so close
To finishing
You’d think I’d do what I want

After the fact
You’re far from right
Decisions were made long ago
This is my only way out
The decisions weren’t bad
I’m legally bound  to keep silent

I’ve made up my mind
I’m going for broke
If I fail
I can always come back
To my comfort zone

My thoughts
On T.H.OT.S.
Are as follows
**** em’
( figuratively)
Their way of thinking
Is played out
To them, subconsciously
I’m not about that life
But I can tell you
That it’s gonna be
A long night
Cause I’m not aiming to
make any friends here

The after party
Behind the scenes
I’ll pay for your Uber
To get you out
Of my face
I’m single and anti-groupie

You say I’m cynical
Your actions are cyclical
music comes first
Your intentions are questioned
you get offended
I’m getting reprimanded
But it’s par for the course
At this point

The after party
Behind the scenes
I’ll pay for your Uber
To get you out
Of my face
I’m single and anti-groupie
I never wanted the fame
I count the times
That I’ve been sorry
And for you
I’m not wasting guilt
Best of wishes
As you move on
To the next one


The after party
Behind the scenes
I’ll pay for your Uber
To get you out
Of my face
I’m single and anti-groupie
I never wanted the fame

Bye bye bye  
Your style of music has died
And girls are awry
For the  ******* that is Beiber
Who's music is in the style
Of your classic songs

Bi-buy-bye
Cold- old- scold
You can't start a brand new mold
Ya'll are an an ear-sore
And the chances that you'll never score big
Like you did before

Your music not from the backstreets boy
Your voice is artificially so that  your music is onl in sync
Your style is not new
You’re the 2nd generation of boys who aren’t men
Your lyrical ‘spears’ are choppy sin

Torn jeans
And a sleeveless tee
Working to the bone
In the daytime heat
Got nothing but a tractor
And some beam to my name
Gotta finish plowing by seven to pick up the dame

Oh
She likes the way I dress
And
She's easy to impress
Country girl
What'da want
Look at you
A tease and a taunt
To be with you
I’m quite fond
Summer breeze
Blowing through my hair
Not showing a care
To the world
It's all about us

And
You’re so easy to please
Don't make me get down
On my knees

Eggshells crack
In the mirror
While you’re searching
For yourself
The floor is paved
With gold and laved
And hot sulfur
Will you vie

Turning away
Isn’t the worst thing you could do
Growth and perseverance force you
To stay true

Are you loving life
Through the pain and strife
As your dancing with your personality
Don’t mind your shadow
Laughing
While your waltzing with
Your demons

Who said
Life was easy
They’re full of ****
But I promise you
The struggles worth it!

Burning ties
Changing tides
And nullifying
Ebb and flow
Don’t be afraid
To fight the currents
Or status quo

BE YOU!
Are you loving life
Through the pain and strife
As your dancing with your personality
Mind you not
That your shadows laughing
While you’re waltzing with
Your demons

Dirrty, Feisty, and Ready
Dirrty, Feisty, and Ready
Dirrty, Feisty, and Ready
Dirrty, Feisty, and Ready

Well
We’re young
Pretty dumb
Truly free
We have no shame
And
We’re loose
From the noose
Of expectation
Shooting pool
Skinny dipping in the pool
Smoking drinking
Living in the moment

Dirrty Feisty and Ready (x8)

We’re having fun
Don’t need no one
But us
There’s no better time
Than now
And no better place than here

We’re only human
We’re only human
We’re only human
We’re only human
So why not let let loose

Repeat chorus

Tattoos are beautiful
But temperamental
Why?


A stories worth something
But people fancy  images
Symbols stick
More than syntax
The artist knows
What  to do
but only you know what it is
You wish to say

It’s living ink
and it makes you think
Don’t blink
Or you’ll miss
The message behind
The person

Where it on skin
As a form of expression
Don’t overdue
Or you’re gonna miss the lesson
There the movies others wear
And free showing is always incentive
To admire

It’s living ink
and it makes you think
Don’t blink
Or you’ll miss
The message behind
The person

What’s your story, morning Glory?



It’s living ink
and it makes you think
Don’t blink
Or you’ll miss
The message behind
The person

Smoke.... The essence of dissolving into thin air
Something... That lived before your God was conceived
An entity
That existed before space existed
  
Something older than time
That no one can time
This time.... Time has no barrier
Expanded... But our minds are made up
Close mindedness.... A sickness older than time

A hangovers
A confession
Of the night before
But I live without regret
( live without regret)

Philosophers say
We ebb and flow
According to
Certain principles
(And moral standards)

I’m young
and Intelligent
I just play the
Fallout boy
  I’m innocent
Till proven otherwise
Leave me
Alone

Go your own way
Here I’ll stay
I’m a loner
I don’t need anyone
Right or wrong
I’ll never know
Until I use
Best judgement

Come into the romanticized void
Deep space
A million miles from anything
Staring at the stars and knowing that you still can't reach them

Being an astronaut realistically is boring
So in your mind you dream of floating about
On a rowboat
You underpass waterfalls of quixotic emotions
Dreaming of going home
But here you are so awry and devoid of emotion

Blaire the blonde
And Brandy the brunette
Trying to settle an arbitrary cliche
Something that started eons ago won't be ending today
Brandy will get you drunk
Off of ***
Blaire will trick you into loving her (blonds are smarter than often credited)
Blaire is the tonic that put brandy out of business
Yet Blaire is broke
Brandy's boyfriend sold coke
And Brandy consulted Blaire
As a sister whom she adored
Blair gave her some shifty advice
(“******* is caffeine, morphine of high, buy it don't abuse it like I know you will or your surely die”) Brandy decided to sell herself to the streets and became an escort
Blair died of old age alone and homeless
So the moral of the story is that of Robin Hood in reverse When you go over a traverse it's smarter to make stupid decisions some of the time

When in doubt go with red

If only I had
Dropped that line
You would still be alive
I should've have taken that dive
But I didn't

Words escape me
As I try to save the memories
But nostalgia and regret cloud my vision
In blessed derision

And after everything
The curtains close
But the that memory remains
Aftershock bites
But the memory still remains

Avoid Tex-Mex
If you value your insides
your body will thank you later

Blasting off *****
When you’re to weighed die
And you can’t come back down

Leave me out of the spotlight
Make me a shadow
I’m more than ready
To be a footnote

So much fear
Musics an outlet
If I were to blow up
I’d be ousted

Conversations
Interviews
TMZ, tainted news
Leave me out
Of the public eye
I don’t wanna be famous

I hope this song goes
To the top
My message will be heard
I’ll sign a million autographs
Be a connection in social media
Make us trend
I’ll be your friend
Just let it end there

I don’t wanna be famous
I don’t wanna be famous
I don’t wanna be famous
I don’t wanna be famous

I’m a humble *******
Not an insolent *******
I don’t follow your trends
I’m not looking to make friends
Or amends
Anything I say can
Be taken however
By whoever

But lest you forget
That these are merely words
And this is music
Open to interpretation
Around the nation
Across radio stations
I’m telling you
I won’t do a *******
Interview

I don’t wanna be famous
I don’t wanna be famous
I don’t wanna be famous
I don’t wanna be famous

Space and time

Information overload
Substances I can’t decode
Mental processes erode
Is there a reason
To this rhyme
Is this a change
In the paradigm



There’s a state of mind
That I can’t find
Cause I’m caught  between
Space and time

Don’t sell your soul
To be a penny on parole
The melodic highway
Has no toll

Parallels undermined
Logics unkind
Emotions intertwined
Racing thoughts in my mind


There’s a state of mind
That I can’t find
Cause I’m caught in between
Space and time

There’s a state of mind
That I can’t find
Cause I’m caught  between
Space and time

I think we’ve reached
A new low
People have forgotten
How to google
I question how
People could be functional
With this amount of stupidity

Google it
You stupid ****
It May not be valid
But you can dig further
Inquire wisely

I’m sorry
Our generation of college
Educated
Could degenerate
How do you become

Incapable
How did you get
Such a high-paying job?

Google it
You stupid ****
It May not be valid
But you can dig further
Inquire wisely


Google it
You stupid ****
It May not be valid
But you can dig further
Inquire wisely

Believe what you want
And say what you will
And watch ideas grow
In a garden from your window sill

You can’t defend
Your insecurities
You must face yourself and ask
“Do I agree” For you see
That’s  up to you not me
I’ve found meaning
In rhyme
Words are just the color I abuse
Use these poems as insight and take them in
Because the readers worst committed sin
Is self-importance with a side of a grin
If I wanted to tell you want to think
If I wanted to tell you what to believe
Than I’d be a minister
But I’m not
And they’re  not that sinister
This first poem has to have a strong finisher
So I say
Believe what you want and live your own way
But take what I say to heart today
And it quite possibly could influence you pos’tively

Nobody’s a saint
Except for preachers
Of course
They’ve never done any wrong

From
Sinners saints and reprobates
Those who practice chastisty
Celabites
Degenerates
Everyone casts a shadow

Angels have demons
I’ve got a few
skeletons in my closet
They’re naked and self-conscious
I’m nothing special
Just finding my way

No inspiration
No cause
No notion
And no reason

Words are a drug
Words are a comfort
Words are a companion

I know
How original?

Saying nothing
Is saying something
Words escape
But I always find them again

Writers block only exists
In the minds of those
Who let it

How original
How original
How original
How original

Beauty has a name
no need for  fame
Just a dame
Of unparalleled intricacy

Catch the nuances
In a jar
And save them  from later
If you forget a single thing
You’ll be ******

Trust me when i say
Every words a note
If you stagger or faulter
You’ll begin to drown

Beauty has a name
no need for  fame
Just a dame
Of unparalleled intricacy

Sea of red
Festive and welcoming
Wined and dined
On the finest
poultry and swine
With a salad and discourse on the side

Sea of red
In my head
The ecstasy of intimacy
In our heads

Now I’m in
The thick of it all
I’m not sure if I wanted this
But it feels

(So **** good)

Hell has waterfalls?
I never knew that hell had waterfalls scanning from the world above
This is where love goes when we die as our souls wither in purgatory- the ultimate punishment for our lives- lived that served as portraits of
Endless contradiction despite fun times
I never knew hell had waterfalls until I was standing amid the myriads of broken hearts looking at me from their nooses. Blue eyes hide the fire inside- pain redefined through a hearts apartheid- waterfalls separate the fiery tide as a tornado brews above and we try to hide

I  never knew hell had waterfalls... Till I meditated under one- pressure- release the lethal syringes from your gun and send the anesthetic to my heart so that I don't feel any more pain.
I never knew Hell had waterfalls until today

I see your image in my head
The still frame portraits and macabre dressed in misleading bright happy colors
I feel you in the air though you're not here
I see you're hand grabbing me and letting me go
Smudging your mascara on another gentlemans face as you do so
I cry and the tears hit your hand
You slap me away without looking at me
I awake and see your image in my dream
Letting me know that you're the key
To save me from this hell
2,190 days later
And you're still gone

The oman's grave
The times of indecision
Written on your gravestone

"Here it lies, death of an oman.... Good or bad.... We'll never know
Surely we'll never know the full potential of this... Omen
... And maybe it's better that way
... Today we say farewell to you
... A mysterious malgmation
Reflective particles of  nothing??
Who... Are... You...
We... Bequeath... You
Goodbye... To the Omen

The sparrows and ravens joined in cacophonous harmony
And sung the first notes of your afterlife

Your Girlfriend’s A Lesbian (This Officially ***** For You)
She's loose
She's loose
You never kept her in check
She's loose
She's loose
This situation isn't over yet
  
You weren't thinking
You were just... what were you doing
No wonder she's cheating
She tried to warn you
But you weren't sober
She tried to warn you
You're sleeping next to *****... and she's gone
You always were a member of the LGBT
But now that she is... you don't know what to do
iI's heresy you say... but that's  low as hell dude (that's gay)
That won't nullify her fancy
Your girlfriend's a lesbian
___________

My Girlfriend’s a Lesbian (This Officially ***** For Me)

Advise me
I need help
I'm trying to save her and myself
My girlfriend’s a lesbian

I don't have a problem with her preference
Though her actions are confusing
I still for her deeply- I just don't know what to do.

She's saying she loves me
And I know
Over time
Imperfections will show
My girlfriend’s new epiphany

My girlfriend’s a lesbian
And neither of us will end the relationship
F this
Her girlfriends is more attractive than she
But the girl Still says she loves me
____________

When They Hook Up

“Hey Travis”
“Yeah Dude”
“ Our Girlfriend’s are cheating on us”
“Thats Hot”
“No It’s not… They’re hooking up right now and we should probably find new significant others”
“Wait…how do you know?”
“Because I was getting suspicious so I read Brandy’s texts”
“Wait a minute- Your girlfriend’s name is Brandy, she’s a bombshell, she’s an athlete, she’s smart and she’s a social butterfly… how could not expecting her to ever cheat”
“... Your Girl’s the same way”
“Why are we calling them girls if their clearly women.”
“ Women are mature and sophisticated- girls are… well you know”
“ Aren’t we usually the ******* as men? I mean, this can’t be happening”\
“We need to agree not to say anything and treat them like crap by not talking to them”
“Can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Cause two wrongs don’t make a right and sometimes the right thing to do well be considered the wrong thing in the moment. One must ask himself if the situation warrants more pain to be dealt with in that moment or in the future”
“Shut the hell up Travis”
“ Dude I’m serious”
“ Travis, you’re over-compensating, we’ll just end it with them”
“...But Dude”
“ That’s what we’re doing”
“****, why you gotta be so like Harold Lee”
“ Because predictability is the spice of life”
“... Actually variety is the spice of life”
“ Yeah,,, that would be the right wording for the adage but I like mine more. Now, let me finish White Castle

Groveling in his past mistakes
A vagabond helplessly searches
For direction and forgiveness
To absolve and adjudicate
His past wrong doing
He confessed to a priest
Who let him know he was eschewed
He said " Forgive me father for I know not what to do"
" My son" replied the priest with much valor and pride " I could tell you anything but I can't guarantee you'll like it or abide by it.

Your moral compass is lacking
Let's start there
You're living in an ostracized planet
Where no one can care
Your morals are allegory of a life lived in want
Your ethics and your standards of life won't assuage the need for self growth"

" So you're saying that in order to gain the fecundity in life I wish to see I need to stick to my morals and let anyone change me, never yield to learning on life's sequestered journey”

“ Well, now you’re starting to get it”

Whatcha know
About chastity
I don’t need a belt to
Be loyal
Feel royal
love  ain’t gotta be
A battle royale

Everyone’s an attention *****
Publicity is adored
I abhore your BS
Get away from
My doorstep
My patience
Has a threshold
That you’ve crossed

I ain’t *******
For a ******* dime
If you wanted a mime
Here’s a rhyme instead
I won’t wish you dead
I’m not that petty
I live practicing abstinence and chastity
For many reasons
Chief among them the fact that’s it’s more  of a challenge when compared to sleeping with someone. Secondly, the challenge of living such a lifestyle pays off, mostly because it’s harder to get yourself broken  when you don’t open yourself up to false and momentary since of connection.

Reel me in
I can’t seem to find my mind again
I refuse
To talk to anyone
And my friends
Are so distant-- Yet it feels like last week that I just saw them

I’m fading away
I’d love to stay
Invisible like I’ve always been
So memorable for all the wrong reasons
I’ve only got two middle fingers and even that’s not enough
forget this
Elongated frustration I’m feeling
Why me- No pity
Someone please tell me
Why we don’t change the mistakes of the past
And why the future seems so last week

Forget me- friends and community
Until I come back and then you’ll see the real me
I don’t need acceptance
That behavior was a fluke
It was my fault
And I’ll take the fall
For the actions one specific individual who I called a friend
Your advice brought with it the decline of six friendships
Precursed and caused an overdose (on the second night of college),  an unsalvageable reputation and the loss of moral. I’m never experimenting with drugs again
I can blame you because it was mostly your fault
But I should’ve never listened to you to begin with
Everyone else was right
And to my fright
I’ve realized that I shouldn’t have had good friends
If  someone like you was going to turn against
Becoming manipulant- a sycophant
You are the reason for my truancy
Even if you’ll never admit your part in this
It’s whatever at this point- I know the truth and I’ve have begun to forgive you
Because all have forgotten about me
But I still regret negatively influencing my college career by taking your advice

I haven’t been to church
In a while
I pray at the pub
With redheads Jameson and
Fish n chips

I haven’t been to church in a while
But who really cares
I’ve got nothing to confess
Cause everyone’s a sinner

I go to the matinee
On Saturday
Repping the IRA
I go to Essex on Sunday
And get rained on
I go home
And my hag of a wife is gone
She moved across the pond
With a bloke
Who works on wall street

When All Else Fails

Poets: past, present and future
Congregrated
To have their poems dissapear
Confiscated.
Poetry.com alienated its community

800 poems— gone!
5 years of work— erased
Domain defaced
And encased behind a error
404: Datbase could not be reached

I’m looking forward
To getting back to my roots
To reesrablishing an online presence
Poetry is meant to be shared
And read
This site better not lose to the times
Grown ingrown
Or henceforth be labeled “dead”

Never do drugs here’s why
This personnel story will
Make you cry
But use this poem to save a life
Or lend a helping hand
____________

The moon
Eclipsed for you
Our eyes  meant
As wishful and wanting
As the stars above
That were shooting

I’m no Shakespeare
But my Juliet
Fell from the heavens
And ascended
On the night
After her 17th birthday

The memory
Of an ethereal
Final embrace
And of that final kiss
Before you died
In my arms

I nearly died too
I wish I was here with you
I feel your presence in the waves
But all tides must elapse
I never said goodbye
I can feel your pressence
In the the sunrise and sunset
In the distant  horizonline

My heart still belongs to the one
The girl called Lorelei
I’m overdosing on your memory
It’s all I’ve got left

You always hear that drugs are bad
You see the effects
But until they personally affect you
Or someone you love
Or have known  in a past life
Your won’t reflect
RIP

4/15/1994— 4/16/11

She wanted more
Was I so wrong?
Was she right?
Her image is still visible... But it's fading behind the rain
  
Time will only tell
That it's been too long
I sit here and write these songs
But her image is fading behind the rain

Behind the rain
Behind the rain
Strange droplets of water... Is it my memory
Behind the fading rain

What do  I long for?
I don't really know
Hopefully it doesn't show itself
Behind the fading rain  


Blaire I

What was it what a I missing what time is ******* away the chances we had. now you're gone along the way and I can't let you go. You'll always be my everything no matter who i fall in love with because you Blaire were my first love.

los corazones hacen y veo que eres todo para mí completamente puro amor la emoción de la intimidad
Entre tú y yo
es especial
extraordinario

Words imprisoned
Inside of my brain
Uttering anechoic and pusillanimous
Conclusions of logical thinking
The ineptitude of my mind
To process at your speed
Has been assuaged by my poetic seed
It's the ****
The feeling of the pen in my hand
Those anechoic messages become strands of understanding

Looking in the mirror
I see my reflection
“Lonely as I am, together we cry”
As I turn around
I saw you walk to that battlefield
That so many days were wasted upon
It’s hard to look at the needle that caused pain
To the sieve  that triggered the end of so many lives
“Lonely as I am, together we cry”
The world is cold
Almost like a cryogenic fridge
We freeze with the good
And let in the rage of the masses
As it keeps growing
On our shoulders we vye with the solution to
Unify don’t deny
That if you try
To conquer that trail of tears
You cried
The choir will sing that last cacophonous note
And we sing the final notes
“Lonely as I am, together we cry”

Everyone becomes a boomer
At one point or another
It’s a state of mind

And we aren’t getting younger

It’s not a generation  gap
It’s  a synthesis trap
Life’s a *****

When we hit 30
We’ll be as jaded and cynical as
Our parents

Well all say
“ get off our lawns”
And we’ll start slowly
Losing our libido

**** the youth
For being so agile
And adapt

Liberate
Create the image you see of yourself
Beauty isn’t paramount
Mount your mind
And thoughts
To dress as freely as you wish

Show as much
Or as little as you wish
You shouldn’t have to cover
Or shoe modesty

I’m no fashionista
But girl, you gotta be you
******* up
**** the rest

Be yourself
Don’t be ashamed
Or let yourself be shamed
By anyone

MISSION STATEMENT

What we feel
Is what we’ll do
If you don’t like it
We can’t fault you

Define us by
Who we are
Not what we play
We don’t stray
From the heart

We don’t live and die
By the lyric
We leave most
To interpretation
We ain’t trying
To rock
The nation

We’re just us

Do justice to the music
( Don’t) think) we’ll stay the same
( Don’t “Know”) what we’ll be
Next, we’ll progress
Regress and digress as
A collective entity
Band, fan or otherwise


Who we are
May not reflect
Your exact ideology
But who said we had
To be agreeable
We’re good


Progression is a non-linear concept
Based on
The ebb and flow of life
The pain and joy that you feel throughout
I’d merely a test

Who are you
What do you believe
And what do you truly know
Believing is awakening

This is loaded but austere reflection

Everything reflects
Everything reflects

Life is taken seriously
But we can’t be too cynical
Politics, media institutions
At points are hysterical
But how is it we’ve become so jaded
The laws we follow only reflect our ethics
But erhics wrent fully right

What about the human makes us complete?
Emotions?
Control?
Balence?
Understanding?

Easier terms and vanacular
Exist to
Reenvigorate
The spirt that we all understand
The spirt of connection
And the mastery of unity through compromise

The exploration and advancement of fallacy has gone on for too long

Surrogate Country
our politics resemble
The human centipede
Dying respect
Hostility from
Both sides
The people divide amongst each other
It’s not
The politicians fault

Ashe to Ashe
Dust to dust
In God we trust
In blind faith we rust
I’m a punk
Singing  rock and jazz
Railing against everyone
With a political placebo
Or a  falsly repleted libido

This country I love
These dumb *****  
I ******* loathe
I start loving
When their words
and conversations
Don’t have an agenda

You can take my life
But I’ll die bleeding every
Inch, word, and ounce
Of my integrity

Have you ever been to a saloon
On the moon
Where your hair gets styled like a baboon
Have you slipped on a peel
While you were making a deal
On a meal with a delivery man
Have you ever looked over your bedpost
To see Ronald Mcdonald offering up a hamburger
Did Mommy and Daddy kiss you good night
Did the Cat in the Hat delight in trickery towards you
Did the Grinch steal Christmas only to discover a new holiday
Is it a hollow day- it sure looks that way

Agony Bearing My Serenade (Opus 1)

Cruel  is the flow of time
Like a river's flow
Life can be a never ending hardship
For people die everyday
The pain continues
As our dirt roads hit constant bumps
Sometimes we don't see the path
We're lost in the dust storm called regret
We try to wish for better
But wishful thinking usually bears agony and loss  
When I was young and innocent I was blind  
To the perpetually cold world


Claronim Hominum Morte (Opus 2)
Genocide overseas
Global pollution
We strive for better
Through struggle we all attempt success as we face the truth and stop hiding in a shadow
Society isn’t built to fail
The correctional system isn’t a bail
and politicians just kiss ***
and philosophers spew their rhetoric and tales
This world is selling itself to the devil
As we shake with the treble of life
We keep pulling forward
In a syncopated march to death



The False Illusion of Spring (Opus III)
False Images of hope
Seen in the flower petals
The colors will die
Just like us
You just have to wait
It's kind of like a tease
Nature's tease
Please- nothing lasts forever
I just wish people would see
Inside themselves enough to know
Will fate will eventually come
Unlike seasons
We only get one chance- how will you change the world

Painting Pictures of Society (Opus IV)
Our societies corrupt
Illegal drugs thugs
And prostitution
It makes me so sad to see
The girl next door transforming to a streetwalking ***** help society change for better
Don’t rule the world- Don’t let the world rule you


Media Bastardization (Opus V)
Stop brainwashing us with opinions
Give us the facts
Stop telling us lies  
Fill the cracks
Liberal
Conservative
Tell us the truth
FYI- nothings fact unless proven, know to know just what you believe

The Solemnly Played Notes of Regret (Opus VI)
It strikes a chord
When one does hoard
Knowledge for himself
Instead of sharing
And caring
He chooses to be an introvert
And he's smart
But introversion will hurt because he is choosing to stay silent  


Talk it Out (Opus VI)
Got a problem with someone  
Talk it out
Make it better
Words can severe heads together
To solve the world’s problems

I can’t forgive myself
For your mistakes
I still reflect on them as mine
I’m not fine
My freshman year of highschool was a hell
It’s a story I’d rather not tell
But then again I owe it to you- for what I didn’t say I  and what I didn’t do
I always came back to the memories of you
A homeschooled girl with Blonde hair
Going with her ambitions without a care for anyone else
As the silent clock struck quarter till 1
The devil addressed our reality with his ******* son
And a sinister smirk
That night came to lurk
And left me in murk
10 lines of powder- I was fine
Nothing wrong  with my mind
6 for you and you were gone
But you kept on going- on and on
After the ninth hit I said “Stop”
But you were insisting that you wouldn’t drop
Line 10 you weren’t fine
At 12:46 am on the 11th line you died
Into my arms you fell
And for the longest time I never would tell
Anyone of what happened on that night

Six years later
And I say
That my Dad's death wasn’t in vain
But it was yours that was harder
That cold lifeless head
Those vacant eyes blankly staring at me
Though we didn’t know for certain at the time
I had felt death and had seen it before
I knew you were dead
In the present future I stay awake
Trying to stay sober
As I reflect on my college experience
And the drug intake
This girl- Rosie she was you through and through (other than her hair color)
I Thought that was a sign
But she was taken
And even if she wasn’t
I would not make her mine
But at the same time you were on my mind
So I did drugs to ease the pain
And severely messed up my brain

Lorelei
Use your voice
And sing for the angels
And hopefully you were buried with your tennis racket
I missed your funeral
Our last memory is so surreal
Your hazel eyes met my eyes one last time and we never truly said goodbye
This book
The strife it took to make all of these poems
Doesn’t compare to the magnitude  of your death paired with my fathers
This book is dedicated to you
And all mothers and daughters
And for anyone who’s ever lost someone
Life can end as fast as a bullet flies from a shotgun

Monte avec moi
Mon amour
Pour un lieu privé
Au-delà de cet état
Au-delà de cette ville
Où l'amour peut être partagée à jamais
Dans les petites voies avec a plus subtiles
Embrasser et de toucher son bras
Et ne jamais lâcher
Lux notre fille naîtra bientôt Adieu mon amour , tu vois le matin

Whatever it means
For better or worse
We’re cursed to rehearse
Tradition and habit
Until we
Become products of circumstance


Robots
We aren’t
People, we are
Can’t wait
For life to happen
Because time waits for no one

Live while you can
Do what you must
Whatever feels natural
We may as well have fun

Routines and roulette
Time is your debt
Pay your fine
you’ll be fine
Dry your tears
With ****** Kleenexes
And rose-tinted glasses
And never kiss any *****!

Live while you can
Do what you must
Whatever feels natural
We may as well have fun

Young people
Have the most sage wisdom
Nativity is bliss

The moon lights a kiss
And a right of passage
You need fear your mistakes
Indulge in your
imperfections


Live while you can
Do what you must
Whatever feels natural
We may as well have fun

I can’t forgive myself
For your mistakes
I still reflect on them as mine
I’m not fine
My freshman year of highschool was a hell
It’s a story I’d rather not tell
But then again I owe it to you- for what I didn’t say I  and what I didn’t do
I always came back to the memories of you
A homeschooled girl with Blonde hair
Going with her ambitions without a care for anyone else
As the silent clock struck quarter till 1
The devil addressed our reality with his ******* son
And a sinister smirk
That night came to lurk
And left me in murk
10 lines of powder- I was fine
Nothing with with my mind
6 for you and you were gone
But you kept on going- on and on
After the ninth hit I said “Stop”
But you were insisting that you wouldn’t drop
Line 10 you weren’t fine
At 12:46 am on the 11th line you died
Into my arms you fell
And for the longest time I never would tell
Anyone of what happened on that night
Six years later
And I say
That my Dad's death wasn’t in vain
But it was yours that was harder
That cold lifeless head
Those vacant eyes blankly staring at me
Though we didn’t know for certain at the time
I had felt death and had seen it before
I knew you were dead
In the present future I stay awake
Trying to stay sober
As I reflect on my college experience
And the drug intake
This girl- Rosie she was you through and through (other than her hair color)
I Thought that was a sign
But she was taken
And even if she wasn’t
I would not make her mine
But at the same time you were on my mind
So I did drugs to ease the pain
And severely messed up my brain
Lorelei
Use your voice
And sing for the angels
And hopefully you were buried with your tennis racket
I missed your funeral
Our last memory is so surreal
Your hazel eyes met my eyes one last time and we never truly said goodbye
This book
The strife it took to make all of these poems
Doesn’t compare to the magnitude  of your death paired with my fathers
This book is dedicated to you
And all mothers and daughters
And for anyone who’s ever lost someone
Life can end as fast as a bullet flies from a shotgun

R.I.P.
Rest easy
You deserve it
Can’t I believe i could’ve done more
When I begin to reflect and realize  that I should have stayed by your side
Passion and pride burning inside
I can’t cancel out my pain
Or justify
My heart’s apartheid
For years I’ve hidden behind a false smile
Nobody understands the extent of my denial
Everything that I've been I've been through
Has made me stronger
Every now and again for you I want to cry
But for you in my life of ups and downs
I try to vye as I'm hanging out to dry
If She hates me for what we know what is a lie
Then letting go is even harder- I'm confused about this
After you died the only way I knew how to keep people in my life was choke them with love and attach myself to everything to aid the scars because I couldn't lose anyone else in death or untimely separation
If my Dad’s death was a star
Then you're  the broken glass on the flashlight the shattered headlight on a car
This poem is dedicated to you
My first true love
And forever friend
I'm now atoning for the one and only sin
The one I didn't ever rightfully commit
That compressed my world
Into a blunder and a blender of confusion and surreal reality
I don't remember much of 2011 after that
And if no one sees it to be true
At least I know that I was the first one to love you and vice-versa

I see the moiety as one
The obsequious masses
Blindly burning in the sun
Tell me why
We aptly succumb to the norm becoming bystanders
And why we watch desperately
For the media to report the facets
That have lasted
And most of us still actively do nothing

The world won't stop without us
But we haven't began
To make our footprints in the sand
This world is ours
And as sentient beings
It's ours to protect
by dissecting each other's intellect
And reflecting
And accepting new concepts to protect it
Instead we infect it
The moiety still unifies
To eagerly and obsequiously
Burn themselves in the sun

Flowers, promise and punishment
Divided by walls of mind
Infiltrated by transgressions  of our heart and soul
Kiss the lips that you thought you loved
Misleading feelings and false euphoria
Combine to create a deadly resolution
Revenge in the most psychologically damaging ways
Are merely a means to the end for the ‘games’ we play
Love will run after you