It feels like my strength is failing
Will this pain ever go away
Will I keep on prevailing
Or are these demons here to stay

I can't seem to cry out
Any louder than I am
I try to scream or shout
But I grow quiet when I feel ******

My mind makes me feel so condemned
Choked by the memories that are fading fast
Will my soul ever choose to transcend
And move on from my bitter-sweet past

Will my mind keep up this torture
Until my days are done
Will I always sink into my disorder
With nowhere left to run

I hope I will rise above
And find some inner peace
Maybe I'll find rest in love
And my soul will be released

Rain on me your wisdom
In loud song or whispered verse
Take from me this burden
Lift me from this horrid curse

Lay down beside me
And teach me all you know
Let me rise from the ashes
And bask in the fire's glow

Revive in me my vigor
And thirst for all things new
Let me sing again in the rain
And dance in the morning dew

Let me find the grace
Through the worlds many snares
Soothe me with your mercy
Please heed my many prayers

I'm lost in this evil time
With fears of being forgotten
I've been pushed down over and over
My soul is so downtrodden

Do you hear my cries to you
That echo through my mind
Maybe you're testing me
A warrior in me - you'll find

A fighter that's grown weary
In need of much redeeming
A fractured mind and soul
Looking for you intervening

Have I squandered my existence?
Do my laments reach your ears?
Do you think I'm worth saving?
Can I cast on you my fears?

Its dwelling just beneath the surface
Lying in wait for its emergence
Waiting to devour all of my dreams
Revels in ecstasy at the sounds of my screams

The darkness within me waits
Patiently as it contemplates
How best to destroy everything I've built
How to smother me in anger and my guilt

I can not **** what I can not see
In order to vanquish it do I have to **** me?
No that is the lie it tries to sell
So it can win and put me through hell

I get so weary of this everyday battle
It leaves me broken, angry and rattled
How do I keep on living this way?
How could I expect anyone to want to stay?

When they see how my mind tortures me
All they want is for me to be set free
They think I do this to myself inside
What would you do - there's nowhere to hide

"There's nowhere to run no way to win"
It laughs and says with a grin
"You and I will always be tied
You're bound by the life you left behind"

I'm more than the amalgamation of scars
I choose my fate - not my pain - not the stars
You have no more power to hold me
I want repaid for the lies that you sold me

So help me God - I will take back my life
I'll pick up my peace and lay down the knife
I can't carve out the pain and the grief
Maybe this way I'll find some relief

I don't know what's left of me
After you ripped out the best of me
You stole all of my creativity
You took my sight so I couldn't see
Past everything you seemed to be
To the core that you're my enemy
Now I'm haunted by the memory
Of who I was before there was you and me
I feel lost and I'm shaking
Stuck in the mistakes I keep making
I'm still on the verge of breaking
While the world just keeps on taking
Every part of myself that I loved most
Scattering my heart from coast to coast
So to the wretched past I make this toast
A bitter farewell to your ghost
You won't haunt me anymore
I demand you leave and I'll lock the door
Leave the pieces of me on the floor
I'll fix myself - my heart will be restored
I'll burn this bridge behind you
My memories won't even find you
I know in the end I'll pull through
I'll take this life and make it new

Walking through the valley of death
And the depths of the sadness
With every breath
Searching for light in the blackness

I can't breathe
I can't see
I can't leave
I can't let myself be

Everything still eats me up inside
Even though the meds make me feel better
It feels like the darker part has died
But is it just hiding behind the pleasure

I'm still scared
I still feel alone
Am I still snared
In this prison of my own

I know these things can all pass
But I seem to still hold on
To the regret that fills my heart of glass
Will these feelings ever be gone

Is the progress a lie
Will it all come crashing down
Will I backslide
Will I ultimately drown

I do not have words profound
That lessen the crippling grief
My only hope that I've found
to try to bring some relief
To find the we in wellness
To relate in some small way
So sorrow doesn't overwhelm us
And sweep us up in its waves
I'm a hand reaching out into the dark
In this vast and hollow world
Something to hold on to - a simple spark
The catching fire of hope unfurled
If you hear my voice
Echoing in this abyss
You can make the choice
To rest and find some bliss
Do not say goodbye
To a world that turned its back
I am here, I hear you cry
In this cold world that seems so black
I may only be letters on a page
But I can feel your heart break
I can sense your hardened rage
Remember this life is yours to make
I hope you learn to let go
Of this heavy burden
I hope you always know
My faith in you is certain
Stand up and take back your life
Beat back those laughing demons
They can no longer cause you strife
Let go of all those reasons...
;
You are loved You are seen
If even only by a stranger unknown
With thousands of miles inbetween
Remember friend, You are not alone