Take the pieces of my heart
I surrender to you all of them
You can have every fragmented part
Why do I still feel so condemned

Grant me peace of mind
Please I do implore
Unloose the ties that bind
I lay my shattered soul upon the floor

I don't know how to press on
With out them by my side
Its so hard to face the dawn
So in you I do confide

I rise up from my knees
And I'll lift my hands in praise
I will sing in the summer breeze
And hope for better days

You guide me through the darkness
back out into the light
It blinds me with its harshness
And yet my soul takes flight

I will trust you through my blindness
I will let go of all my pride
I will show the world your kindness
So at least I can say I tried

Call me out by name
From this darkened tomb
Save me from the flames
Cause my faith to bloom

Heal my broken soul
Touch my wounded heart
Only you can make me whole
And heal what has been scarred

Take from me my pain
Let me love the world
Revive me from this shame
Let your plan for me unfurl

Carry me on the winds of hope
Renew in me the light
Teach me how to cope
Help me win this fight

Let's play pretend
Pretend we're kids again
Back when smiles came naturally
Before our hearts were casualties

Let's play pretend
Make believe we're still friends
Back when we laughed for hours
Before the world turned sour

Let's play pretend
Imagine love with no end
Back to the beginning
Before the demons were winning

Let's play pretend
Like a message in an bottle we send
To someone in an imaginary land
Before we could really understand

Let's play pretend
Learn to smile again
Faking it isn't the same
Faking a smile to hide the shame

Imagine if we could remember
The final sparks of a dying ember
Of the hope that carried us on the wind
When we would play pretend

Who reached out to me when my world fell apart
One maybe two people? Some that never did before
You know who didn't? My "family" - They had no heart
So what am I supposed to believe that life has in store?

So far life has shown me how to pull myself out of despair
It has shown me to trust NO ONE no matter what they say
It taught me that my healing is the weight for ME to bare
To not lean on anyone because eventually they go away

Some said they were sending ' prayers and thoughts'
and while this is always well meant
It didn't help me in the throws of my loss
When it felt like I was broken - my hope all spent

I had people offer all sorts of advice for me
What they would do in my situation
The harm they did, they simply didn't see
When they disappeared they offered no explanation
What did that do for me

Just, ****, Gone
Alone again to deal with my demons
What did I do so wrong?
I gave up, I don't need their reasons...

I guess I am better off without them
I don't need all the negativity
All they did was judge and condemn
So I leave them behind, and lean on my own ability

God is with me  - He whispers  in the dark
He holds me when everyone else turned their back
He puts me on the right path, and urges me to embark
on the journey of life - He protects me from any attack.

I am swinging by my neck at the end of my rope
Searching around for some glimmer of hope
Some safe place, a sanctuary for my heart
That has been cremated after being torn apart

I look and I look everywhere I go
Seeking solace, while I go with the flow
Trying to find a feeling I have never known
Looking for the place, a home to call my own

I am a sojourner pushed and pulled by fate
Tossed about like a leaf on the wind of hate
This world has choked my lungs of all the air
And yet I can say I'm not quite as scared

I used to walk around under the weight of fear
Now its dismay, yet I can shed no tear
It stalks me every night and day
I wish for my life the voices would just go away

I can't seem to cry though I feel I'm drowning
I have my faith but it seems I'm always doubting
I doubt my strength, I doubt my sanity
Because my life has been endless calamity

When will this storm finally subside
I guess I just hold on, while I'm along for the ride
Buckle up and hold onto the rope
Its a rough ride kids, find your reasons to cope

I have heard it said my pain is an illusion
Because its just in my head
Because its not a scar, wound or contusion
That I just need to get over it, they said.

Give it time, healing is slow
Pray more, take this pill, stop overthinking
But they really don't know
the everyday struggle to stop myself from sinking

The callousness of society
bleeds my heart dry
The constant impropriety
makes me want to cry

"You choose to feel this way"
"Just choose to be happy"
If it were that easy I'd do it today
To choose this, how ill would I have to be

I am just so completely tired
of the way this world spins around
of how they all conspired
to put me in the ground

You sow these seeds of anger
So you'll reap the grapes of wrath
You offer me no answer
You tell me to take a different path

You speak what you feel
Yet let no one else do the same
If they do not suit your ideal
Then they're living a life of shame

You wonder why the silence grows
With the walls that form between us
Maybe only God really knows
But it doesn't take a genius

Your heart and words to me are bitter
I cannot fathom why you can not see
Or why you can not consider
That the problem here isn't just me

Stop sowing the seeds of doubt
Or else you'll reap uncertain love
With weakness of resentment throughout
You'll destroy what we dreamed of

I love you but you don't see it
I say it but you won't hear
If this is what you want so be it
I won't let my heart hold you so dear

I want you to understand
My love has not diminished
I will not draw back my hand
Until you tell me we are finished

I am not miserable because of you
My pain is not your doing
There is little that you can do
While my storm is brewing

Mutual respect is what I want - do you want that too?
With no hypocrisy mixed into it
Speak to me how you want me to speak to you
If we do this I know we will pull through it