The monsters hide behind kind faces
In places where they can't let thier intentions be known
They keep their mask up until they get you alone

Then they have you and grab you to pull you under thier toxic spell
Leaving you broken alone and clinically unwell

They portray you as crazy with what they say to your friends and family
So in the end they insure everyone leaves

Narcissistic parasitic vampire that feasts on your fears
They shatter you and leave you drowning in tears.

After they are done and they've won  they take with them your sanity
So everywhere you go monsters are all you see

What do you do ...
When the illusion of intrusion
never seems to go away
When you have to fight off fantasies
of being gone today
When they won't stop no matter
how fervently you pray
When the delusions of anger and fears
Always get in your way
When they fight tooth and nail
Like they have a right to stay
The voices crowd your mind
Saying just come and play
But you know what's waiting for you
In thier demented game
So you do what you can
To shut them out and turn away
But they paint all your memories
In shades of black and grey
You just wish for a single moment
Where You  feel okay
And you want to cry every time
Someone asks how are you today
When your life's torn apart
Your mind lost in disarray
Then your trust seems to fade
While your hope begins to decay
When your heart feels like stone
And all you feel is dismay
Your sanity clings to threads
Your anxiety puts on a display
When you ask for a moment
Your mental repairs are underway
But really in your mind
your worst fears and memories are on replay
The anger bubbles up
And you want the world to pay
For what they took from you
But there's nothing left to say
You don't know how to articulate the pain
Or the thoughts you have to convey
So you don't feel so locked away
With the darkness that tells you
That its here to stay
You feel Your thoughts begin to fray
And your mind just saddles on you all of the blame and shame of a past you wish you could slay
Like a monster that seeks you out as its prey
I've learned it takes a lot of courage to say
I'm not well I need help I'm not okay

On the whispered wind of sorrow
That travails a sea of tears
On a boat named loneliness
That is weighed down with her fears

She tries desperately not to drown
in the oceans of her pain
She tries to rise above the waters
To not let it drive her insane

She looks around for land
to seek shelter from the storm
Will she find the rock she needs
Or will she remain forlorn

She can't see the sun
Or any stars above her
She prays and gasps for breath
to the God that loves her

He doesn't want to see her suffer
She knows this in her heart
He could whisper to the waters
and her pain would all depart

She holds out hope
for a Savior to come at last
to rescue her from her own mind
To save her from her past

I've been far better
But I've been worse
It seems to me
That is my curse
One step forward
And three steps back
I never can seem
To make up for what I lack
I'm always behind
Or missing something
But I'm always blessed
Never left with nothing
I feel broken down
And yet uplifted
I feel completely stuck
But like something has shifted
I feel thankful
I feel my pain
I guess I'm okay
Despite the rain
At least I'm breathing
I'm still above ground
At least I have something
I'm not hellbound
Though this pain can feel like hell
I think in spite of it, I'm doing well.

Thanks for asking
It shows you care
Don't feel bad for me
Please just send your prayer

Please, God  move this mountain
Take this weight off of me
Heal pain in my chest
My Lord please set me free
I'm being crushed
By this life I've been given
Lord please take away my past
and let me feel forgiven

I can't forgive myself
for the mistakes that I have made
please Lord heal this within me
Let me feel like the debt has been paid

I feel like I am lost in the wilderness
with monsters all around
Please save me from this darkness
Don't let it put me in the ground

I feel like I am already buried
beneath a past I can not change
I am so afraid Lord
that I've become deranged

Take the illness from my mind
Take the sorrow from my heart
Mend all of my broken pieces
Lord please show me where to start

The rustling song of midnight
brushes through her hair
the solemn summer rain
takes away her cares

She gets lost in nature
to find her secret bliss
She listens to the moonlight
and feels its soft kiss

It steals her away from worry
as she lets herself feel calm
It reminds her of life's beauty
On her heart it inscribes its psalm

The night is a reminder
to be thankful for the sun
It all is a reminder
of a creation so perfectly spun

She is thankful for the darkness
She is thankful for the rain
She is thankful for the sunshine
She is even thankful for the pain

It all reminds her that she is living
Though most times she feels like stone
But she looks up to the heavens
And Thanks God she's not alone.

Her humbled heart is yearning
For the life she knew before
As the gentle sea yearns for the shore

Her shallow breath grows steady
As she ceases her nightly weeping
Her eyes flutter at last she is sleeping

Her racing mind wakes her
Before she's ready to face the day
Her ears deceive her - was that her children at play?

Her quiet soul whispers softly
To comfort her broken spirit
Is her grief to loud to hear it?

Her darkened thoughts keep swirling
In memories of sorrow and reverie
Her eyes glossed with things she cannot see

Her shaking hands ache
To hold those that she misses
All she has are photographs - to pepper with her kisses