It is pure grief
It is lonesome
As time becomes a thief

It will be sweet
It will be bitter
If ever again we meet

A moment in time frozen for me and you
Your smile brightens as the love shines through
Remembrance glitters in my eyes
As I turn away and say I'm fine

You're dreaming
As I lay awake
My mind constantly screaming

I close my eyes and pray
For all of you
Each and every day

I'll give my love to beauty
No matter what the cost
I will give my heart to peace
No difference what I've lost

I'll give my mind to clarity
And to my soul - sincerity

I'll reach out for kindness
I'll taste its sweet surrender
I'll give in to my dreams
I'll be truth's defender

With every fiber of my being
I will seek and find my joy
No matter what bridges burn
Or what my pursuit would destroy

I'm tired of always being tired
I'm weary from all that's transpired
Im sick of searching for a home
That my heart has never known

I'm done being so downcast
I'm through with my unforgiving past
Its all quickly fading into history
I'm looking forward into victory

I wouldn't wish for you to understand
The pain within my heart
That would mean you'd have to experience it
And let it tear you apart

That was mean your mind is your enemy
Just like mine is for me
That you have to fight every day
The feeling of never feeling free

It would mean life let you down
That you felt like you'd drown
In a vast sea of sorrow and pain
That no one could see
The misery
That buried you deep in the ground

It would mean you'd know what betrayal felt like with clarity
From those that you should be able to trust
You'd know well abject terror and loneliness in all its severity
The smell of fear distinct and robust

You'd fear anyone who calls you friend
But befriend the monsters in your mind
You'd be too scared to let it show - to let the facade end
Until your fears made you bitter or blind

No please don't say that you wish to understand
Because you don't know what that entails
Thank you for reaching out - offering your hand
I'll kindly refuse to show you through my travails

You'd thank me if you knew what I don't share
The details of the peril I've had to fight
Or maybe you wouldn't care
That's the fear that keeps me silent tonight

The fire flashed in the skies
It lit up her eyes
Her heart thundered in her chest
The rain pelted the ground
The wind moaned out it's sound
Her skin - it caressed
the storm in her mind grew calm
she reveled in natures song
At that moment she felt truly blessed
The might of the storm healed her soul
It made her whole
She knew she could finally rest

I am nothing more than a shadow of the former life I led
I have often wondered to myself why am I not already dead
After all I have been through and how my heart has bled
It poured onto the floor with every evil thing that they said
They only told me that they loved me to mess with  my head
How was I supposed to recognize what love is supposed to be instead
After all the misery it caused with all the lies that they spread
When they laughed behind my back for all the tears that I shed
The only way I knew love as a child was in fairy tales  I had read
So that is all it ever was to me because I'd been misled
Forever walking on egg shells being cautious where I tread
They knew they tore me down till I was left hanging by a thread
Now I realize that long ago I should've taken my broken heart and fled
Then I would be happy not carrying around all this dread
I will drop all this pain and replace it with joy in its stead
I will leave the past behind me with every memory I shred

I don't want to say hello because I hate to say goodbye
Everyone always leaves in the end no matter how hard I try
I never knew I'd lose everyone I  thought loved me
they turned their backs or I lost them because of insecurity
I'm scared of living more than I fear dying
With the first there's more disappointment, anguish and lying
When I mask the pain so no one else can see
With the other there's peace, bliss and finality
It is the last goodbye I'd ever have to say
But I'm still thankful for every blessed day

Stumbling through the ashes of my decimated dreams
Finding out the hard way nothing is as it seems
What my heart cherished most burned a hole right through
Leaving me lost and forlorn not knowing what to do
Trying in desperation to scrape my broken life back together
As it continues to fall apart I realize I lost you forever
Not everything that breaks you makes you stronger in the end
Sometimes it just leaves you shattered unknowing how to mend
The burning furnace of this life can forge the strongest steel
Maybe that's why my hearts so heavy because the flames were real
I watched resolutely while my life went up in flames
Now I can barely bring myself to whisper your names
This hell that I've walked through,I suppose they call it life
Has been one trauma after another followed by a twisting knife
I look up to the sky and watch the ashes fall like rain
Praying to God to remove from me the endless pain
Will He raise me from these ashes like a phoenix from its death
Or will I taste this bitterness on my dying breath