She held the darkness like a dancer
Holds tightly to the other
She held spark and fire - a pyromancer
The flames whipped around her

As She spun with her love
The only thing that made her feel alive
the flames were her lover - they fit like a glove
Her risky tryst that few would survive

As people watched on in awe
this violent passion - that lit up the night
Wrapped her in the warmth of its claw
They stood wide eyed in its beauty and fright

Her masterful art and the sway of the rhythm
left them exuberant as she seemed so defiant
To the heat of her craft - she cracked the algorithm
As the flames swayed around her - completely compliant

It followed her will - it would not consume
It was Chaos and law, Confusion and clarity
It could point to the wisdom of life and doom
She was a jewel in the heat - truly a rarity

She collapsed to her knees fast to the sand
Twin flames on  a ball on the end of a chain
That she pulled with each hand
Which Wrapped about her neck and back again

The fire didn't singe but caressed her face
Then sparks flew up to the stars above
Fire hit the ground followed by dark embrace
Silence was her applause -
as she extinguished her love.

I burden myself with the memories
that flood my mind once again
It steals my peace and strangles my joy
The darkness becomes my friend

I hide in it like a child at play
Where no one else could seek
I let myself be consumed by it
I resign to being a freak

I was different than everyone else
I knew that right from the start
No one would let me forget
That I began life with a broken heart

I was alone from the time I was young
and nothing has ever changed
there could be an ocean of people around me
- I still would feel alone in my cage

I know where the key is
for the lock on the door
It seems that it's just out of reach
So, I settle in to suffer more

Falling from on high
I plummet
through the beautiful sky
The ocean rushes up to meet me

I flew way up on wings
of feathers and wax
As my heart did sing
Your warnings I did not heed

I couldn't hear over my heart like a drum
  or over the wind
I was greatly overcome
With my first taste of feeling free

I'm falling I'm falling
Into the depths
You're calling You're calling
for my death swiftly comes from the sea

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you so bad

Your voice fades like a photograph

I'm afraid
I'm afraid
I'm afraid to let go

It's for the best as we both know

You're strong
You're strong
You're stronger than me

You have the power to set yourself free

The broken spirit cries out for love
Her mind rejects the notion - Feeling unworthy
Her heart yearns for God above
For heavens peace to calm her thoughts flurry

Alone through life - no one to lean on
Always to be the one who has to be strong
She carried her cross and many others
She was the burden - The reminder of the pain
for her sister, mom, children, and brothers
HER Trauma was the storm that brought the rain

She was blamed for the past of them all
She was shamed for how the pieces fall
When they cast the stones in the first place
When they handed her grief  and stole her grace

So she called herself Hope as a joke
because its what always eluded her - what she always needed most
She tried to be a beacon for those that were lost
but couldn't find herself through the cost

So she opened her eyes to the deception
She found she didn't recognize her reflection
She couldn't find a home though introspection
She searched and searched for recollection
How long had she lied
behind the smile - she cried
But this Honesty would spur her resurrection

She saw through the lies they had fed her
She remembered how the past had bled her
of all self worth - all her joy was torn asunder
But this time she wouldn't be pulled under
Deep onto the abyss of her sorrow
where most of her life she had dwelt
she would see the dawn with new eyes tomorrow
and let that rain wash away the shame she felt

As she sifts through the rubble and ash
of an old life she can not get back
she will rise like a phoenix taken in flame
And one day they will remember her name
They will regret the words that they said
as they realize they are immortalized
in the words that they've read

Her beginnings were rougher than most
Every turn seemed to get worse
She learned to lean on her heavenly host
This alone helped her handle her curse
Life dragged her from trauma to trauma
At least she had her children's love
Her most cherished name for herself, was 'momma'
She looked for wisdom from above

Then her children were taken
she fought off the waves of emotion
she fought off feeling forsaken
she fought being drown in this ocean
that threatened to swallow her faith up in doubt
That drained her - That strained her
to figure all of this trauma out

Of all that made her feel broken
this was by far the very worst
Yet her prayers still never go unspoken
she refused to remain feeling cursed
Because she would live for Christ -
For HIM she would hunger and thirst

What do you do when you are kicked when you are down
Stand up - pretend to smile and play your part as the clown?
Pretend the words were never said
that messed so badly with your head
and soldier on through the storm
How long can I do that
How long can I fake it
How long can I shake it off?

The cracks in my mask are growing wider
chasms I can not fix
I can't just take off this
mask that I put on when I was younger than six
I can't open up with no confidence within me
I feel trapped in my mind with no where to flee

My life just keeps getting worse
I swear I feel like I am cursed
I can never see my real worth
because of the nightmare my realty births

I get silenced by the pain
Like I am drowning in the rain
all the little stuff drives me insane
I feel like the price isn't worth the gain

My emotions take me for a ride
through hell while I die inside
submerged in tears I've cried
Why do I feel like I have to hide