It's times like these
that make me want
to scream at everyone,
especially at those
who don't deserve it:
they cannot know
how I feel right now,
so **** them the most.

After not sleeping well at all
due to a particularly nasty toothache
for seven days in a row,
I finally got a good night's sleep last night,
but, of course there had to be a problem:
I overslept for work
because the pain
was so subdued.

I didn't even have a chance
to have painkillers for breakfast,
as was necessary
the other days this week.

So, when I got to work,
I immediately caught flak
for being so tardy,
all the while being unable to focus
on anything but all this ******* pain.

I never thought I'd say this,
but I understand, now,
why the notion of Suicide
can be so seductive;
not that I seek it,
but that I commiserate
with they, who do.

I cannot recall
being in this quality of pain
for this quantity of time,
and all the dentists are booked until Tuesday.

Anna, please be okay.
Life is too rich a chance to flush it all away,
if it isn't already too late, I implore you to delay;
Death will always be waiting for you, there's no need to rush for it today.

Anna, there is much to see,
much to learn, much to be.
I know you're a Soul in duress,
but please don't let that end the rest;
express it and get it off your chest
and then try to build on that and move on to some new Quest.

Each Soul in this Reality is tried in it's own Fire
from the moment of Birth until the surrender to Death;
Life is a constant and abrasive Journey, an opportunity, a chance, even somewhat of a Test.

Anna, please be okay.
I hope it isn't already too late,
You have friends who truly care; who will listen,
even here, on the coldness of the Internet.

Anna, please be okay.
I enjoy your writings; what you have to say.
Your perspective is unique and your style is entrancing.
There is such great potential here in this Life for you.

If you're still there, please, be strong;
you owe it to yourself not to die so young.

I've recorded several of my newer poems, the links to these recordings follow:

https://soundcloud.com/apexparadigm/music-is-much-like-life
https://soundcloud.com/apexparadigm/temple-of-my-earthly-goddess
https://soundcloud.com/apexparadigm/treading-water-in-the-ocean-of
https://soundcloud.com/apexparadigm/on-attempted-censorship
https://soundcloud.com/apexparadigm/polyamory-is-not-a-sin

I need a Venus
with a dark mind
and darker sense of style
and a yet darker sense of humour.

I need an Aphrodite
with a lust for the Arts
and a knack for Philosophy
and a desire to try new things
and an ability to remember themselves.

I want a Lover
not afraid to face away
in the sexiest of times or places
who will not cower from a challenge
who will not lose themselves under another.

Drop selfish ideas
of what should be,
and seek to accept
what is.

One may find
One obstructs and occludes One's Self,
and thereafter may One find peace
in each and every day.

Making poor decisions is a fact of Life.
Blaming them on others, however, is immature.

Shopping Lists are somewhat like Clocks;
if one is patient enough, they become accurate again.

A Vial of Acid in the Freezer
would be somewhat analogous to
having healthy Respect of the Power of Fire;

One would (hopefully) know
not to get too close,
or to **** with it too much,
once One has been burned by it
before.

Though, I do declare,
it can be a great source of warmth and inspiration
in proper moderation, company and contexts.

One will always find
a way
or
an excuse
to do
exactly as One wishes.

That's how it works.

Harness the devious power of intention before it harnesses you.

-----------------------------------------------------
Lazarus looked up from his tea with a look of surprise.
At first, I was anxious and a bit fearful,
but his words quickly lifted my doubts:

"Ah-ha!
That scoundrel convinced me
it would take longer to get here!
I suppose that's a decent use of trickery..
at least I'm pleasantly surprised and not dead, or worse: disappointed!"

He looked at me and nodded knowingly.

"Scoundrel! I almost thought it would arrive too late!
See, I spoke to a friend on the desert coast-
well, he's a bit more of a jester I once tried to banish, really, but a friend, nevertheless!-
about some possible leads for finding this child.
He agreed to draw me a map based on his research.
However, the only thing is that this map
is shrewdly coded.

You see,
though I may be more frail now than in my youth,
I've certainly learned a thing or two
and I'm afraid I must accompany you,
for what do you make of this map?"

He showed me the scroll
and it seemed to be a sketch of the Kingdom with symbols for places and landmarks. Some parts were even upside down and there were several burn marks where the Volcano is. In the corner was an ink flurry I could only imagine to be the signature of the artist.. it seemed to read.. 'Scoundrel.'

Was 'Scoundrel' his name, or a title? A joke?
Certainly seemed to be fitting, regardless.
Clever little ******, I figured this trickster fella to be.

Seven locations were encircled in deep red,
but only three had an icon of the sun stamped with a golden ink.

"Seems like a treasure map."

"Of sorts..
a mad map drawn by a mad man for a mad quest.
Quite apropos, indeed.
The encoding would prevent those of impure mind from finding the child, should the worst happen to the bearer of this map. Leave it to a scoundrel to think to safeguard a map to the Chosen One against foul play. Wisdom can be found in such impishness as his, so long as the darkness doesn't break you. It takes one to know one, I suppose. Hah."

Lazarus turned to me and sat up straight, clearing his throat.

"Now, should you allow me to come with you,
I can decode it based on the clues we come across,
that is, unless you wish to make it on your own."

His expression was stern, yet infused with wonder and anticipation.

"The choice, my dear Dhorna, is yours."

Put more thought into things than you must.

Do it for yourself.

Few will care,
let alone notice,
but who does
shall appreciate it.

There is much Music that is good
but not so interesting;
just as there is much Music that is interesting
but not so good.

To find Music that is both good and interesting;
that is to say Music with which you harmonize intellectually as well as intuitively,
is highly unlikely.

The chances are against you.

So, cherish it when you find it.

It is all too rare;
That is why I seek to make my own

Just because
it's cool that you can
doesn't mean
it's cool that you *do.

being a conscious being
reality is a sort-of
onomonopea
of consciousness-
that is, dare i say
of God

Our overzealous international "War on Drugs"
has not only failed,
but is a front
for secret wars and rigged elections
around the world.

In terms of metaphysical well-being,
do not attempt to find external solutions to internal problems.

Though external solutions may, at best, catalyze opportunities,
they tend to serve as a temporary comfort or distraction
rather than a cure for the nature of the problem at hand;

A "bad mood"
is a great opportunity
to tune your Consciousness.

Life is full of those moments;
the purpose of them
is to learn from them
and grow.

Look outward for information.
Look within for understanding.

Actualize your Godself.

Over two hundred
unread posts
by the pens I love the most;
where to begin?
Perhaps not at all?

May the cowards' way out
be ne'er known
to the readers
of these, my poems.

In Love's name
be they attempted
but by Love's name
be they hitherto
unread.

So grateful
am I;
are we;
for the words
of those
who seem to be
worlds away:
they, who share
the same words,
the same air,
the same Earth
as I;
I;
who am not
those I idolize
(if any)
;

A problem?
Nea;
a blessing
hitherto
disguised.

"The true test of Civilization is, not the census, nor the size of it's cities, nor the crops - no, but the kind of man the country turns out."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Oedipal-*** sons of *******!"

is a means
for metaphysical control.

One,
who never allows One's Self contrast,
shall ne'er appreciate
what faculties One already possesses.

Sacrifice lends itself to Appreciation.
//
Sound is my Pantheon,
Music is my Prayer,
Noise is my Art;
and Silence,
my canvas.