Your driving 90 on the highway,
Why are you always running away?
It always feels so bad.
But I’m used to getting let down.

I know I’m always complaining.
But I swear it’s always warranted,
It’s not all in my head.
These thoughts exist.

And make a sudden turn,
The wheels begin to burn.
And we flip, and we spin.
It’s a win,
Because stupid is what stupid does.

Holding hands, watching the sun set.
Listening to your favorite band,
On your iPhone.
We just watch as the world spins.

The ambulance came,
And they said you were dead.
You went to fast.
You sped through life,
Like a speeding car out of control.

New Jersey born and raised
A little liquor makes me brave
Sad stories of the past
Always brought up after a few drinks

Somebody told me you ain’t grown
Until you talk about the past
And when you do it all becomes the same
You become a pawn in life’s game

Hold it in
Be a man
That’s what they tell you when your young
Don’t be weak

So easy to pull the trigger of your gun
Your a saint
Until you’ve done what you never thought could be done

I’m from New Jersey
You always know when your time is up
You don’t believe in love
It’s over before it’s done

I’m from New Jersey
Always looking to avoid the toll
I’m not unhappy
Just angry about it all

The traffic to the shore
The smell past exit 12
On the parkway
We know the way back home

I’m from New Jersey
I love it all
The angry people
But not as angry as if
you came from New York

I don’t like to dream
Because I might dream of you
And when I wake
It’s like losing you all over again

The walls come closing in
And the sound becomes so small
Slow motion sets in
And I’m not there anymore

Took a pill to fall asleep
Like giving candy to a baby
Washed it down with my favorite *****
It burns so good

Sleep in till noon
And when I wake
Just lay there thinking of you
They say your mind will betray you

My town is a mile long
Feels like a prison most of the time
There’s a sign that sits at the edge of town
It reads please come back again

And we always do
What were told to do
It gets old real fast
When you outgrow your past

Slow motion shuts off
And it all comes rushing back
And I'm back in the same old routine
Still dreading falling asleep

I don’t even know how to do this anymore
Write for someone I don’t even know
To make them feel something
I don’t  know
Am I just in a mood?
These words seem so weak
I’m a poet but did I ever know it?
I can’t seem to put my finder to it
I’m a mess
Does that even come close to knowing
What’s it’s all been for?
I keep writing about loss
But what did I lose?
I’m still alive
And that something
I know it is
It’s short and simple
I’m here and I
Have one more line in me
I'm a poet and I think I always knew it

You put all your trust in the internet
They said it was the future.
The machine will show bud the way
To a better tomorrow.
But tomorrow came and they took all the books away.
People started protesting
Marching in the streets.
The voice over the loud speaker
Said trust in the machine.
As the tear gas filled the sky.
We put all our trust in the machine
And it took over the world.
They see you when your sleeping
They know when you’re awake.
You gave them all the power
It was a fatal mistake.
You watch from the hilltop
The missiles lit the sky
The machine took over the world
That’s burning in front of your eyes

you’re not even there
Looking at you past the mirror
What’s all this have to do with me?
it couldn’t be any clearer
Melt away that skin
Show what’s hidden underneath
What does it mean?
What can you even say to defend it?
You shrinking
it almost  pathetic
I’ve been thinking
Over this again and again
Your hands are in my head
Twisting my thoughts
I just wanna be happy
I just want to be free
I just Want to be free
I just want to be me
Free from this parasite

You’re old and dying,
And you’re tired.
You can’t keep your eyes open,
Long enough to see time pass.
Oh you’re so behind, you’re stuck in the past.
You’re one last breath from death,
But you won’t give up.
You whispered you ain’t giving up for God.
You old twisted soul,
You always find a way to make them pay.
And by them I mean the ones who loved you now and till death.
It be gift if you just went.

Well you didn’t wake up,
And I didn’t learn everything.
There’s so much more to be said,
You left behind a legacy,
But that don’t mean much.
Me and my siblings,
Ain’t living up to it anyway.
But we’re making our way,
Through this thing called life anyway.
Without you here,
Wherever you are.
In the sun rise,
Or in the rain.
I see you face,
Sometimes when I drink.
But the hard truth is,
You ain’t coming back.
And this thought sends me hurtling back to reality.
Sometimes I can’t stand the sight of me.
Been searching for love,
But hearts break at the sight of me.
I’ve done some woman wrong,
And I can take it back.
I wonder if you would be proud of me,
When I stare into the dark.
And I wonder wherever you are,
Are you watching me?
In the sunset,
In the morning mist.
I’ll  always resent,
the times that we missed.
I see your face,
Sometimes when I drink.

There was a boy who learned how to move the wind.
He was like a superhero.
He was on the news,
And in the papers, everywhere.

He was a hero until they killed him on the evening news.
The played the blues,
At his funeral.
It goes to show you, you never know how it will go.

I was there,
All dressed in black.
I saw his mother cry.
She screamed his name.
I’ll never forget.

It haunts me still.
I can’t sleep, I’m not well.
This life is such a game.
And I’m losing,
I’m losing so bad.

I visited the grave a year ago.
Just to say my peace.
I could have sworn I heard a voice say
Remember me.
And I don’t even believe in ghost.

Started as a heart beat,
My head against your chest.
The sound of your heart beat,
It was so loud.
It grew to super sonic.
I know it was a fireworks show.
The light from you lit up the room,
Like the sun exploded.
It started with a heart beat,
And ended like a light show.
This light so bright,
It blinded people for miles.
I’m looking at the bright light,
You left wherever you would go.
And it all ended the way that you would have thought
In tragedy this love was turned to stone.
This bright light in the dark was all
That shown.
I’m standing as a witness to a horror show,
The light ain’t as bright as you thought.
And you retreat to the basement that you know,
Ain’t no light been there in so long.
You’re standing at the edge again.
The wind  blows your hair,
As the bright light of the sun beats down.
This bright light blinded you long ago.
You have to let go.

I remember winters,
when I was young.
I remember falling in the river,
When it was frozen.
Caught a glimpse of you in a person on the street, I followed them until it felt weird.

I miss you
I can’t believe,
It’s been so long.
I miss you.

You broke your leg,
Crabbing in Jersey.
The police let me ride in the back with you.
I miss you.

I miss you,
Like it was yesterday.
When I last saw you,
I miss you.

I saw in the hospital,
One to many times.
Always working on your leg,
It doesn’t matter now.

I remember crisp autumns,
Coaching my soccer team.
You screamed when we lost.
I remember it all.

I miss you,
Like it was yesterday.
I love you,
And I miss you every day.

The moons glow,
My spot light.
Step on my tippy toes,
Around your egg shells.
What a mess,
What a horror story.

Just move slow,
Don’t let them see you strain.
Learn to love the pain,
Your motivation.
Open your mouth,
But nothing comes out.

Tired slow breathing,
Sounds of regret.
You slip into the darkness,
They can’t pull you back.
You’re on your own.

This silence feels like home.
But your so far away,
You reach but you can’t touch.
Your all alone,
Just like when you were born.

You scream out,
But no one hears you.
This silence feels like home.
So you stay still,
Your heart beat is the only sound.

Cracks in the cement,
Your body bent.
Like a maze over it all.
Sweet but small,
A bad attitude.
That’s what they said,
That’s what everyone said about you.
You came from above,
From where your body fell from.
You fell so far,
You fell so hard.
You fell for all the bad ideas.
So let’s make it clear,
You’re not the victim here.
You never were.
You never were here at all.
You started as a ghost,
And became what you hated most.

I was drinking wine out of a solo cup,
When the shots rang out.
I saw the blood from the start,
It really looked like it hurt.
They tried to **** the president.
America are you sure?
The secret service was fast,
They covered him like a breaking story.
The reporters said it was gory,
But he was ok.
It only grazed his ear,
He pumped his hands in the air.
And I don’t care,
Who you are.
In that moment you said,
what the **** am I watching.
It’s all a blur,
They went to a commercial break.
It all looked so fake,
Like the moon landing.
They said he lived,
He’s in a hospital bed.
Talking the same nonsense,
He could have been dead.
But it doesn’t make a difference,
They don’t care.
It’s all a dream,
And we all have one.
It’s what it means to you,
Do you care enough?

These little things,
the build up inside of me.
Can’t feel a thing,
I’m consumed by the pain.
It takes steps to make it out of this.
I can’t help,
But to feel trap In this mess.
These little things,
The eat at my soul.
I need a break.
I can’t control how I feel.
These little things,
They’ve grown into something much worse.
I hate how much it hurts.
These little things,
They are so much more.

You swim and you sink.
How long can you hold your breath?
This current will take you,
Take all of you if you let it.
Sway and be calm.
Let the water take you away.
The undertow will take care of you.

Saw you in a dream,
You were chasing me.
You followed me for miles,
Really wore me down.
You almost got me,
You almost won.

But I got away,
It ain’t as fun.
When you don’t get to ****,
The ones who want to do you harm.

I wish you well,
I hope you live.
To see a better day,
Or any day again.

I don’t know you,
But  I hope you get to live.
To see another day.
I know you’re brave.

You’ll survive it.
I hope you do.
I hope you finish the race,
I hope you win.

I love you now,
I loved you then,
I love you always.
And when it’s over,
I’ll love you still.

I’ll love you forever,
Until the sun burns out.
I love you now,
I’ll love you forever.

I remember when you told me to be brave,
And I won the championship game.
I remember when you said mom,
Doesn’t want you living here.

It was a spark,
That lit me up.
I knew then,
It was all down hill.

It the night I wished for you,
And I settled for dreams.
In the day I saw you,
And you made me scared.

I wanted to impress you,
But I let you down.
You wanted to impress me,
But you died too soon.

And the sky lit up,
With fireworks.
You said this was New Jersey.
And I always kept that in my mind.

And when the police man said you were dead.
I banged my fist against the fall.
And I walked down the stairs,
To the empty basement.

You were gone.
You were no more.
I said a prayer,
The first one in awhile.

.

Hey bike rider,
Harley in your blood.
I miss you,
Like the moon misses the sun.
I think of you still,
All the time.

Well you left behind a lot,
You had some demons in your closet.
They came out and scared us all.
But you memory is strong,
Your face is everywhere I look.

I remember in the sand,
You broke your knee.
I rode in the ambulance,
And I thought I’d was so great.

I wish I could go back,
But it’s stored in the back of my memories.
Like on dusky in a museum,
That only I can see.

Hey bike ride,
The wind in your face.
I miss you around this place.
I picture you,
In the open road.
Driving out into the sun.

I got your voice in my head,
All the time.
It haunts me in a good way,
I can’t explain.
I wish I had the harley in my blood,
But I don’t.

Well you left behind a lot,
Some good and some bad.
What I would give,
For a moment with you.
I’ll love you always,
Dad.

Haven’t seen sunlight since long ago.
Shadows rule here,
In this kingdom of dark.
This place hasn’t been fun,
Since 1999.

I don’t see anyone laughing,
I don’t see children playing.
Their all stuck in their phones,
They’re all pretending.

It takes a war to make them look up.
But just for a moment, to say what for?
And their gone again,
Till the next missile launches.

They’re playing with fire,
And they’re gunna get burnt.
Let it all burn down,
Let it take this small town.

And their off again,
On a new quest to save someone.
But they don’t save a soul,
They just convince themselves.

And it goes on and on,
From dusk till dawn.
And it’s old and tired,
But they think they’re still young.

And let them never speak of this place again.
Let it all end,
And let them never speak of this place anymore.
Let’s forget about it,
This whole **** world.

Saw another school shooting on the news,
Why does it seem normal?
Why don’t I seem burdened?
How sick are we all?

I’d rather be dreaming,
I’d rather be blinded.
I don’t have the heart for the truth,
It’s all so grim.

I’d rather ignore it.
It’s so sad to take in.
I’d rather pretend.
It’s all a dream.

They’re playing with fire,
And they’re gunna get burnt.
Let it all burn down,
We’ll pray when it’s done.

Smoking my last cigarette
In the cold New Jersey wind.
I feel young again,
But I’m older than I think.
There’s alone
And then there’s all by yourself.
Leave those feelings,
Up on the shelf.
Take shot to feel warm,
Your heart was born to feel pain.
These ghost that haunt these halls,
They carry such a burden on them.
Kiss the love of your life,
And watch her leave.
She was never yours,
She sank her teeth.
Into your yellow skin,
You’re such a fool to believe,
This girl is filled with sin.