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Anthony Esposito Dec 2020
In what was his fifth cigarette of the night, the boy lit it like clockwork at 11::00pm on the dot. The smoke hovered around his head for a moment before evaporating.    He stared up at the black canvas sky that was empty, besides a few stars that shown through the dark. What a sad sight Indeed.
All the light pollution from the city made it impossible to see barely any stars on any given night. The boy knew this, but was always disappointed still.

   There was no mini mart, just an office with a bathroom and a small heated booth outside with a cash registers and a chair. The gas pumps lay untouched for a few hours now. The gas station was always slow at this time but tonight was especially slow. The boy kept busy by sweeping the ground every now and then.
The station was off the highway near an exit ramp, in an area with few people, and nothing really worth stopping for. It was almost a god send when a car would roll through now and then and get some gas. Even still, no one seemed to be making their way to this station tonight.

   A few hrs had passed and finally the silence was broken around 1:05am when an old black charger came off the exit and rolled into the station. The boy was in his little booth, watching the car slowly pull along side pump number 2. He pulled the sliding door of his booth open and walked up to the car. The driver side window slowly rolled down about half way.
A cloud of cigarettes smoke barreled out and a red ember lit the darkness. A strong smell that reminded the boy of the aftershave his father used to wear hit his nose. A man sat dressed in black and wearing sunglasses. Music played in the background, low enough just to make out something was playing.

Hey.

How you doing tonight sir?

Oh, just fine, just fine. Fill her up Regular.

Ok. Just gotta let you know the credit machine is down. So we can only take cash tonight.

The machine had been broken since the boy got on shift. The guy he took over for said it broke and he didn’t know how to fix it, neither did the boy, but he knew the manger knew how. But he wouldn’t be in until the morning.


Well that’s an inconvenience, don’t you think?

Yeah, I’m sorry but I can’t fix it until my manger comes in, and that won’t be until the morning.

You don’t say?

Yea, I apologize.

What if I don’t got any cash?

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be able to help you.

   The man in the driver seat stared into the boys eyes. An emptiness exuded from him. He wore glasses and yet they still pierced through him. The smoke hovered around him, almost stagnant and he sat in this cloud of smoke just gazing.
The boy was taken back.
He gathered himself and said again:

If you have cash I can help you, If not I can’t give you any gas.

Yeah, I heard you the first time.

I guess I have to give you cash then, huh?

Yeah, again I’m sorry man.

Don’t be sorry,  not yet. It’s not right yet,
You haven’t earned it.

I’m sorry?

   The boy felt the uneasiness creep through him. He started to get anxious. The emptiness of the station started to feel much larger than before.
  The man in the driver seat sat silent. The low humming of the radio broke through the awkward silence. The music  ate through the tension like white noise. No one was coming anytime soon, it was clear.

You the only one here?

  The boy looked confused and was over the questions.

Yea, I’m working the graveyard shift. You want gas or no?

Don’t be rude. You ain’t got the right.

Listen, if you don’t want gas i don’t know what I can do for you.

You got cigarettes?

Yes.

Oh, so you can help me after all.

If you have cash, yes.

Oh, your really not being helpful. It’s a shame.

I’m sorry. I told you the machine was broken, and I can't fix it without the manager.

Yeah, I heard you.

   The lights buzzed above head. The wind was still. It was as if the driver and the boy were the only one out there, maybe even the only ones left on earth to the boy. Fear ran through him. He kept hoping someone else would come driving down off the exit ramp. He kept looking for head lights, but nothing.
And then like it was never even on, the music stopped. The window rolled all the way down. The man sat in silence, smirking. He ran his hands through his brittle dark brown hair. He turned and looked to the dark to his right. Taking stock, he turned and looked back into the boys eyes.

You believe in fate kid?

Not really.  Do want gas or no?

Forget about the gas.

What do you mean?

It ain’t important anymore. Do you believe in fate, is the question right now.

What do you mean, do you want gas or no?

Don’t worry about the gas I said!
******* it, forget about the gas!
I asked about fate. What do you have to say about fate?
Why is it always about gas with you?
Don’t be a fool kid.
Now I’m trying to help you. If you don’t want my help then hey, just say so.

I don’t want any trouble man.

Fate brought me here kid. So trouble found you whether you wanted it to or not.

Now I’m gunna ask you one more time.
Do you believe in fate?



  The sun was barely up when the manager pulled in off the exit ramp and into the station. He was surprised he didn’t see the boy at first but thought nothing of it. He checked the office but it was empty. The boys car sat where it always did.
He saw nothing that was out of the ordinary. He observed that the cash register had not been touched, and it had appeared as if no one had really come through, which was the case most nights. Everything was how it should have been, except the boy  was nowhere to be found.
He did think to himself it was weird the boy was not there. It was very unlike him to just leave before his shift was over, especially without his car.
Yet he could not be found anywhere near or around the gas station.                                          The manager decided he should call the boys parents. They said they had not seen him, and said he hadn’t come home yet. The manager decided he should call the police.


   The officer stood beneath the station roof. Sunglasses on. Pants pulled up. Badge glistening in the morning sunlight. He was questioning the manger.

Could it have been he just went home?

No sir, I called his parents. They said he hadn’t come home. And even if he did, I don’t think he would leave his car here

Oh. Does he do this normally?

No sir, he’s a pretty reliable kid.

Any signs something could have went wrong? Cameras?

No sir. We don’t have cameras,  never got them installed. It’s just not like him, you see. I’m Just worried is all.

I can understand that. Can’t really do much unless his parents file a missing persons report.

Well he had to have gone somewhere. He couldn’t have vanished. It’s so unlike him.

The manager could tell the officer would be no help. But he could feel it in his gut. The kid woldn’t have just left. Something was wrong.
The officer stood staring at the cloudless sky.
He cleared his throat and rubbed the sweat from his forehead.

You know sometimes people just leave.
Sometimes it’s just fate. It just happens, people just up and decide they want to live a different life. No word to their families or nothing. I’ve seen it before. Maybe this is that?

The manger didn’t respond. He knew that couldn’t have been it. He knew the boy. This wasn’t like him.
What could have happened?
Where did he go?
Anthony Esposito May 2020
A dark and lonely road
A cars headlights hit the dark like snow
A song you hate but play again and again
No plan or direction just leather in your hand

Just drive
Just drive into the night
Thoughts dancing In your head
You just want to feel alive

Just drive
Leaving all of this behind
Your memories of ghost
Don’t look back if you want to survive

Street lights dancing in your eyes
Like stars hanging from the sky
You just drive
Just drive into the night

Nobody knows where you are
Nobody asked where you were
Nobody seems to care
I know your driving somewhere out there
Anthony Esposito May 2020
Lighting struck the field
And fire started to spread
And everyone ran for the hills

But not you
Not now
You stood like a Queen without a crown

As the winds fanned the flames
The smoke chocked the air
A smile overtook your face

What joy
It brought to you
To watch the world burn

The moon light shined down
And the stars seemed closer then ever
And you stood like a goddess consumed in pleasure

The people doused the flames with water
But in the end it was In vane
The crops had been destroyed

Was this God?
Was this fate?
To you it did not matter.

This is the part where you find yourself
This is life on earth
This is not the end

When the sun finally appeared
There were only ashes
There were only tears

But not you
No fear
You haven’t seen the sky so blue in years

This is the part where you find yourself
This is life on earth
There is nothing else

This is the part where you find yourself
This is life on earth
This is not the end
Anthony Esposito May 2020
The universe is big
Just like this room
Your on the other end of the bar
Feels like miles apart

This dim light is comforting
The loud noise is deafening
But when I see you
It all goes mute

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

This cigarette taste great
Your lips taste better
No amount of alcohol could make you look any better than you do right now

A street light
A crowded street
Your eyes focused on me
The city never sleeps

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

I don’t pray
but I would pray for you
Make this last forever
I only want you

I caught fire
You sparked the flame
My heart was the rag
And you were the gasoline

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you

These cold dark nights
Always end up teaching us things
Like how to fall in love
And what it all could mean

They don’t tell you to watch out for it
And how it sneaks up on you
Sometimes it comes to you as a girl
On the other side of the room

There is nowhere on earth
That I would rather be then right now
I could not imagine any other way
With any other soul but you
The only thing that’s real is you
Anthony Esposito May 2020
Prom queen without a crown
Stuck in a small town
Her dreams got away faster than she could run
Always wondering of what he’s become
She always falling a step behind
Harboring memories of bad times

Someone pulled the switch in her basement
Now her souls gone dark
She needs some light
she needs a fire, burning in her heart.
This ain’t make believe anymore
This is growing up.

Had Big dreams of a city
Saw yourself living there
But there ain’t no skyscrapers you can see from here
the bar gets crowded from time to time
But there ain’t much action there.

You tell yourself it gets better then this
As you knocked another back.
And as it hits your lips it takes you back
To that place and that kiss.
That touch that you miss.

Someone pulled the switch in her basement
Now her souls gone dark
She needs some light
she needs a fire, burning in her heart.
This ain’t make believe anymore
This is growing up.
Anthony Esposito Jan 2020
Well you swallowed your class in that last whiskey glass
As the lights began to rise.
And they’re calling last call
As your calling out
For someone to play your favorite song.
Oh long nights I remember
Most I want to forget
But I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Born in 89
About time I’ve found the time
To witness so much beauty
In the face of another.
Have another glass.
Calm your nerves at last
And try to remember
Where you’ve been and who’ve you loved.
Cause time passes.
Just ask our parents, parents.
Just try to remember the good times.
Anthony Esposito Dec 2019
He had gold  watch
And wedding ring
From a marriage that was over
A few kids
And a life to live

He went to sleep
And never woke up again
And he left behind everything

Just some memories
And a face that gets blurry at times
Photographs and sentimental things
I am always thinking of him

Hey bartender pour another shot
And take me away from here
I could use a little immunity from fear
Some courage to remember
Some will to forgive
It is what it is.
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