while we wait for confirmation
in a garden with no ceiling
while we wait for something to happen
we both know this might well be over soon

i have a vision
but i am burdened by all that i carry
i feel feverish
and i am confronted by the silence

god is like the sea
cold and silent and angry
and when we're dragged down into the water
it's an honor to drown next to you

i am sick of being the second son
i am tired of falling behind
i am embedded in confusion

i just want to be mighty
i just want to be with you

taken by the left hand of darkness.

staying silent while the mind goes violent
i'm older now and i won't spare the rod
you ******* animals!
drown in the river shed
it was always your favorite color anyways
pages yellow
ink fades
notes disintegrate
this is forever
even if you fail to remember

my mother taught me to trust in gods hands but to always expect the worst. my school taught me that it's important to learn, as long as what i wanted to learn what they wanted to teach. society taught me that different was good and we're all one, all except those people over there, and those people over there, and those people over there... my doctor taught me that drugs were bad while he blew coke in the bathroom. cliques and subcultures taught me to be myself as long as i was just like everyone else.
i take them down to the river, and bury them in the muddy water. and i know that i shouldn't, but i'm sick of the hypocrisy. i'm sick of questioning love and pretending to be like them. i would rather be rejected for being myself than be accepted for being who i'm not. i'm done feeling small.
that is all.

please, take me down to the river
hold me down in the muddy water
and bury me in it.
let the tide take my body
to rest on a distant shore.
you have to throw me away.
it's the only way.
i'll do it again and again and again
don't ever let me do it again.
you have a husband and a child on the way
i know your secret.
things will never be the same
and you thank god every day.

we're sick of liars and thieves and crooks. we're sick of shallow smiles and petty pleasantries. hypocrisy is rampant and the offended are everywhere. we want so many things. we want love. we want trust. we want a chance. we want to dig up hope from the hole it's hiding in and ****** it to the world. "if you can't do it for yourself, do it for them". the empyrean is real. i've seen it. it's right over the hill; but we can only get there together running hand in hand, as fast as we can. because we're sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. we're ready and we're reaching. we want to live.

We are capable of so much more and we know it. Yet, we spend all our time fighting for a golden crown; as if that's all that ever made a king.