If I said that I loved your personality,
would that mean I love you?
If I said that I loved the way you laugh with me,
would that mean I love you?
If I said I loved the way that your voice caresses my name,
would that mean I love you?
If I said I loved the way your eyes look into mine,
would that mean I love you?
If I said that you make me happy,
would that mean I love you?
If I keep asking myself whether or not I love you,
does that mean I love you?

If I said that I loved you,
would that change the way I think of you?
If I said I loved you,
would that change the way you laugh with me?
If I said I loved you,
would your voice still as delicately handle my name?
If I said I loved you,
would that change the way you look at me?
If I said I loved you,
would that make you happy?
If I said I love you,
would you know that I love you?

Life isn't really as simple as boy meets girl anymore.
Maybe it never was.
I still think about the curve of his hips, the taste of his lips and the deep hastened breaths as I pressed my body against his in eager anticipation of an ecstasy formerly unknown.
it haunts my heart,
my soul,
my dreams,
that you - my sweet blue eyed confusion -
told me you loved me and left.
Only to throw my reciprocal adoration into the arms of another
and somehow
I can't hate you.
I see you two together and somehow find the fault lies with me?
Did you simply act out of necessity?
What was it that you wanted all those nights in my arms?
Do you not know that I would draw you close even now
if you gave me the chance.
Passion is not something that can pass on a whim.
Its a powerful force, that drives us from within.
Its a chemical explosion as flesh caresses flesh
and yet, it is a soul
not simply this touch,
that often causes everything to just become too much.
When the rains stopped pouring,
the earth became dry,
And somehow, I knew that this would never truly die.

I say a begrudged goodbye and tell myself its for the best.
Somewhere I hope
that your heart will find rest.

I have so much work to do
And yet I sit here
At my desk
With my email opened
with new emails pouring in
with my to-do list growing
with clients getting impatient
with managers getting frustrated
and I sit here
and I write poems
that only a handful of people will read
and still...
I get more satisfaction
from a trending poem
than I ever had
from doing well at work
perhaps I am in the wrong profession...
but I'm not an excellent writer
my poems will most likely
never be published
I will undoubtedly
write a book
and never have it published
I can't leave this job
with what little money I have
To pursue a dream that
might not come true
Not in this economy...
It's sad, really
how hard it is to follow your dreams
But I will still try
I will sit at my desk and write
and hope I don't get fired
so maybe one day
I can quit
and pursue what makes me happy
and satisfied
creativity and tea
Wish me luck

And I realized
with burning cheeks
with my head
above water again,
lungs full of air.
My life vest for
when the sea is
over whelming.
When the shore
is to far to swim.
I realized
when you grabbed
my faded blue
porcelain skin
and the flash
of my life
you drew me in,
between
life and death,
I realized,
that I need you,
So much more than
you need me.
I'm okay with that
as long as you
never outgrow me.

I knew not cold

Until I called your shadow my home.

Years have since passed

But your cuts remain fresh,

Leaving me haggard,

Blind to my own radiance.

We know each other no longer

But you hold a place in my heart

Born in jealousy,

Reborn in hatred,

With sharp pangs of love

Which refuse to be drowned.