Centennial
Perennial
Time
Is sublime

Tulip
Is a flower
That is a way to say
I love you
To the one you give them to

Feathers, Feathers
Somthing about feathers
Pokeing through a pillow
Makes
Me
Nuts

Chickens
Charles Dickens
The only thing in common
Is that they rhyme

I hate you
You evil form of reproduction
For making my throat hurt
I HATE YOU

When I was eleven, my name was Sadie.
When I was eleven I lived on the streets.
I was unloved.
I was unwanted.
I was unseen.
I was unheard.
I had not a single person in the world who cared for me.
I no reason to live my life.
I had nothing to fight for.
I was alone.
When I was eleven I made a choice that changed my life forever.
When I was eleven I made a choice that set me on the path to adventures beyond my wildest dreams and heartache of my worst nightmares.
My new name is A’ratos I’nima, or Brave Heart.
My home is the spaceship T’arm, or Haven.
My species is human.
My family is made up of alien bounty hunters and merchants.
I am loved.
I am wanted.
I am seen.
I am heard.
I have an entire starship of aliens who care for me.
I have a mate who loves me.
I have a child who adores me.
I have two reasons to live my life.
I have a war to fight with my star born family.
I will never be alone ever again.
I was Sadie, a street kid with no future.
I am A’ratos I’nima, a Space Merchant with a wife and daughter.
I am Courage, a fledgling warrior in an old rebellion.
This is my story, dare you read it?

Crossing the River
Chapter One: Survive
My name is Iren Flames
I’ve been in the foster system since I was nine.
I am now 15.
Every day I get up at four a.m.
Every day HE beats the **** out of me.
Every day I grab my satchel and leave at exactly five a.m.
Every day I walk six blocks to the blood fighting arena known as the BattleBridge.
Everyday I meet the manager of BattleBridge arena at the door.
His name is Kyle.
I am his champion.
I am the best fighter the BattleBridge has.
I am also the youngest.
When I walk through the doors I change.
I become sharper.
I become more confident.
I become dangerous.
I become The Whisper.
The death you never hear coming.
Everyday Kyle hands me my breakfast and we start training.
Everyday the lunch bell rings.
Everyday Kyle hands me my lunch.
Everyday at one o’ clock sharp the blood fights begin.
Every fight is the same:
I always win.
Everyday Kyle hands me my dinner as I leave.
Everyday I walk out that door.
As I walk out I go back to being Iren Flames: foster kid.
I walk into the house just in time for HIM to beat me up.
After he’s done I dust myself of and walk upstairs to my bedroom.
Everyday I cry myself to sleep.
Wash.
Rinse.
Repeat.
My name is Iren Flames.
This is my life.

I have a game I play
When I'm bored
It is fun
What
I
Do
Is I open a book
To
A
Random
Page
And write a poem involving the first word
I see
It is a fun game
Do YOU want to play?

God of death
For the Greeks
Also known
As Pluto
Who is both
A Roman god
And a planet

Communication
Through every nation
Consistant
Throughout the world

I wanna see the world
I wanna see the world and go EVERYWHERE
I wanna go everywhere and feel EVERYTHING
I wanna FLY

Ah the need for sleep
Is a blessing in disguise
Creativity flows
From the dream sand
In your eyes
And I find
Makes poetry
Quite devine

You know what
I hate about Society?
It makes people
Feel
Like
They
Aren’t
Worth
Anything
You know
Why people commit suicide?
Because Society backed them into a corner
You know
Why people
Have eating disorders?
Because Society
Made them Feel
Like they had to change who they were
To be them selfs
Society needs to die for its crimes
It
Kills
People
Every
Day

Death
Is a fact of life
So what is all this strife
About everlasting life?
I think that would ****
I don't want eternal life
Because I don't want to worry
About where I go after wards
And
The answer
Seems quite simple
You go into the ground
And are eaten by decomposers
Who only get ten percent of the energy consumed
Why?
Do we have to worry about where we are going?
It seems pretty obvious to me

People say math
Is my biggest problem
And that may be right
But not how they think
Because it’s not just Geometry I’m going to sink
Chemistry
Is going to be the worst by far

Shut up people
Just leave me alone
Let me zone out
And read until I feel calm

You push me
I freak out
Here we go again

I know I’m gonna fail
You don’t have to rub it in

I expect to fail
Don’t you see?
That’s just part of being me

Shouting won’t help
It’ll just make me freak
Thanks for making me panic again
My anxiety is really fun to deal with for me
You think I can do this
But I really really can’t

Sure I’m smart enough
But that ain’t the problem
What do you think my tolerance level is?
I’m not invincible
Far from it
And stress is a real *****
Stress leads to anxiety
Is that really such a twist?
Anxiety leads to me panicking
Ain’t that just lovely?
And panicking causes more stress
No duh
And the cycle begins again

You thought I could walk into a mega church
5,000+ strong
I don’t know how you could think that
When I panic in a room full of 2,000- strong
And I knew at least half of them
You say I’m fine at RFK
But that’s completely non-sequeter  
Because it really isn’t the same
Sure there’s way more people
But the environment ain’t the same
Cause A, it’s a DC United game
B, I know the lay
C, I know the people
D, I know the players
E, I know the rules
F, I don’t have to keep quiet, I can yell and rave and swear
G, if I panic I can go somewhere
H, I don’t have to watch the game
Or pay attention to center stage
I have neighbors all around
All I gotta do is turn around
And say hi
How are you?
My name’s Julia, whats yours?
Well nice to meet you George
Do you like to write?
Yes, yes I do
I write Fanfiction, how about you?
I, I don’t feel like I’m in a cage
J, I do panic, I just don’t panic as bad
As I do in a loud room
Full of people I DON’T KNOW
In an area I don’t know the lay of
Or know how the people act
Where I can’t distract my self
Where I don’t know the routine
When I have to pay attention
To a dude up on a stage
That I’ve never even heard of
K, I know the routine of everything at RFK, I know the chants, and the rants, and the yells, and the smells
The rules and the cools of social interaction
The do’s and don’t ‘s of stadium reaction
So don’t say that RFK, Which feels like home by the way
Is anything like a Megachurch in Arizona

You tell me to try
And I try
I do
So don’t say I don’t
Because it really isn’t true
But I can only go so far
Before I fall apart
Because life, school, and stress
Try to tear me apart
So me being lazy
Is me trying to hold myself together
And it ain’t really lazy
When I write, and I read
And sometimes I bleed

So shut the **** up
And leave me alone

Ground below me
Sky above me
Horizon in front of me
Horizon behind me
Sky sky sky
Soaring through the air
Flying every where
Wind beneath my wings
Supporting
Safe
Sky sky sky

Ah the horror
Of a blank mind
Turn on some music
Open a book
And you will find to your delight
That horror has gone away

Just hold on,
Don’t fall apart,
I’m right here,
Don’t be consumed by the dark,
I’ll hand you a torch,
We’ll fight off these shadows together,
Just don’t let go,
You’re not alone.

Floating clouds in the sky,
Floating Clouds Mountain high,
Floating clouds morphing why?
Morphing clouds flying high.

Endless work,
Endless fields,
Lifetime hard ahead,
A heavy weight upon thy back,
A heavy weight upon thy heart,
Staying there until depart,
Looking for freedom,
Yet getting not,
Looking across and seeing hope,
Reaching far,
Not far enough,
Reaching for the prize,
Forsaken eyes,
Somber faces,
Thread-bare cloths,
Dirtied feet,
Bleeding hands,
Looking forward,
Glaring forward,
Accusing eyes at me,
Fire eyes,
Dagger eyes,
Looking forward at me,
Endless work,
Endless fields,
Lifetime hard ahead.

I am from my family,
From the tree that I half-know,
From the half that I don’t know,
From the substitute half given,
To give me room to grow,
To at least semi-know,
What its like,
To know the whole tree,

I am from the friends I didn’t have,
And the friends I have now,

I am from the struggles of life,
And the disability’s,
That made it thrice as hard,

I am from the gifts,
Three of them all in a row,
That gives me eyes to see,
What others don’t want to know,
That gives me a heart wide open,
To help me give so much,
And hurt even more,
At the words thrown at me,
That gives me ears to hear,
What others never will,
That gives me hands to touch,
What others cast away,
That gives me feet to walk,
A path that others daren’t think to,
That gives me a mind to part,
The fog of misconception,
That gives me wild paths with a hundred choices each,
And a mind that likes them all,

I am from the uncertainty of what I shall do,
When the high school path ends,
And the college path begins,

I am from the times,
Of soccer ***** and dads’

I am from the middle house,
With a red door and a porch,
With a crab-apple tree,
With a Toyota Celica and a Toyota Camry,
And web-collecting Moses bushes,
With beige walls,
With a closet to the right and a bathroom straight ahead in the foyer,
With a red couch and a cabinet framed TV,
With a mirror on the wall and shelves up above,
With a once-white carpet and a computer,
With a book shelve set into the wall and an old broken inherited radio,
With hardwood floors in the kitchen-dining room and an old wobbly wooden dining table,
With a counter of doom and a pantry,
With white carpeted stars that lead up to the rooms and down to the family room-basement, bathroom, office, and laundry room,
With the master bedroom and after nightmare cuddle sessions,
With my old room, now my brothers, with yellow walls and a castle mural painted by my Mom,
With my playroom, then nursery, then my room again, with blue walls and clouds on one side over white wooden borders,
With door less closet and Joes’ old bed,
With a pink cubby-bookshelf and old wooden dresser,
And stained floors.

Fire,

Pyro,

Flames,

Blaze,

Consuming everything in its path,

Orange heat reaching for the sky,

Exhilarating,

Terrifying,

Fun,

Irresistible.

A blank page is opportunity,

Endless possibilities and freedom of expression,

Words waiting behind a pen,

Waiting to be put down,

A blank page is freedom,

Freedom of the mind,

Freedom of the hand,

A blank page is a story,

Untold and new,

Real and unbridled,

A blank page is hope,

For a girl trying to make her way in a scary chaotic world,

A blank page is a friend,

For a new fledged writer or an old hand at the art,

Always patient,

Always waiting,

A blank page is many things,

And all of them untold.

Do you realize I can see it?

That look in your eyes?

Saying I’m a freak?

A loser?

A spazz?

A good for nothing?

A ******?

That look that says I’m different?


I’m tired of being different,

Of trying to be like you,

Why do I even try?

To be like you?

Can’t I be myself?!

Oh wait no!

I CANT BE MYSELF!

It’s socially unacceptable!

What the hell!

WHY CANT I BE ME?!


Is that so bad?

To try to be myself?

To be individual?

To be unique?

To dress how I want?

To say what I want to say?

And do what I want to do?

And act how I want to act?

To be myself without rebuke and constrain of social norms?

To be individual without being told its wrong and being tied down with the ropes of unspoken social rules?

To be unique without being glared at with looks of contempt and aloof?

To dress how I want without being looked at like I’m crazy, or told it’s out date?

To say what I want to say without being told that it’s weird or out-of-line?

To do what I want to do without being told I have to stay within certain confines?

To act how I want to act without having my lines scripted and my moves choreographed by the rules and regulations of society?

Is it so horrible to want to be who I am without the looks that say I’m an out-cast or having to live within the walls of social norms?

Am I such a terrible person that I can’t be myself?


And do you realize I can see it?

That look in your eyes?

Saying I’m a freak?

A loser?

A spazz?

A good for nothing?

A ******?

An out-cast?

A person out of line?

That look that says I’m different?


Because I do see it,

And it hurts,

To know I’ll never be accepted,

Or told its okay to be me,

To be individual,

To be unique,

To dress, say, do, and act how I want,

And not have to ask my Mom,

‘Is this outfit okay?’

To ask my friends,

‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘Did I do something wrong?’

To ask my teachers,

‘Did I act out of line?’

To say to the whole wide world,

‘I’m sorry for being me,’


I see the looks,

I notice them every day,

And I must ask,

Can you please stop?

Because I’m sorry,

For being me,

Because I can’t change,

Who I am,

Because I see you, and I notice the looks you give me,

And they hurt,

So please?

Can you stop?

Just for one day?

Just one measly day?

Because it hurts,

And I can’t change,

Who I am.

Step step step step,

Arms pumping, legs burning,

Slap slap slap slap,

Barefoot soles meet pavement, concreate, dirt, grass,

Ground,

In out,in out,

I’m flying, free,

Go go go go

Says my heart to me.

Pound your feet to the beat of the drums

1,2,3,4,

Hit the ground running to the beat of the drums

1,2,3,4,

fly on your feet like the wind thats behind you

1,2,3,4,

die on the road or die if you don’t

1,2,3,4,

run to the mother of the ******* beat

1,2,3,4,

don’t stop, don’t drop, don’t die, MOVE

I'm brown and I'm red and I'm yellow and I'm orange,
I fall from the trees,
and float to the ground,
I am a leaf and i make no sound

Sometimes I feel like I’m in a vat of molasses,

Stuck,

Unable to move,

But on the outside I’m still moving,

Smiling,

Laughing,

Hiding,

Lying,

And sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in the shadows,

Tied down,

Kept in an unending circle of thoughts,

Forced to relive my darkest moments,

Hearing the words said to me by others,

‘Freak,’

‘Ugly,’

‘Idiot, ‘

‘Stupid,’

‘Shut up!’

‘No one cares!’

‘Why should I listen to you?’

‘******,’

‘****** *****,’

‘Yeah, so?’

‘Was I talking to you?’

‘Go away!’

‘We don’t want you here!’

‘Go somewhere else!’

And after a while new ones are added, ones said by my own brain to me,

I’m a freak,

I’m a good for nothing,

I’m a loser,

I’m never going to amount to anything,

I’m Hideous,

If I’m not carful they’ll know I’m weird and tell me to leave,

Who cares what I have to say?

I’m worthless,

My writing’s s**t,

I’m fat,

I’m weak,

I should have run farther,

Look at me, can’t even do a pull up,

And sometimes I feel so wrapped up in those thoughts that I can’t even breathe,

Can’t pull myself out,

Can’t look up,

Can’t get out of the shadows,

Can’t see the light,

I feel so lonely,

Too caught up in the looks others give me to see the smiles of my friends,

Sometimes I feel like I’m caught in the dark,

Sometimes I feel like the shadows will consume me,

Sometimes I need someone to pass me a torch to beat off the shadows and ward off the darkness,

Sometimes I need someone to pull me out of the vat of molasses,

Sometimes I need someone to see past the smiles,

Sometimes I need someone to see the girl tied down in the shadows,

Sometimes I need someone to untie me,

Sometimes I need someone to break the circle of thoughts,

Sometimes I need someone to wave away my darkest moments,

Sometimes I need someone to combat what others and myself say,

To say that I’m worth it,

I’ll succeed,

I’m beautiful,

That they will never leave,

I belong here,

Don’t go,

Stay,

We’ll never make you leave,

What do you think?

You’re worth something,

Your writing’s great,

You’re strong,


Other times when I’m in the light,

I see those who are in the shadows,

And then I’m the one who beats off the shadows,

I’m the one who passes the torch,

I’m the one who wards off the darkness,

I’m the one who pulls them out of the vat of molasses,

I’m the one who sees past the smiles,

I’m the one who unties them,

I’m the one who breaks the circle of thoughts,

I’m the one who combats the words,

I’m the one who offers companionship,

I’m the one who gives the encouraging words,

I’m the one who helps,

I’m the one who saves a life.