Shut up people
Just leave me alone
Let me zone out
And read until I feel calm
You push me
I freak out
Here we go again
I know I’m gonna fail
You don’t have to rub it in
I expect to fail
Don’t you see?
That’s just part of being me
Shouting won’t help
It’ll just make me freak
Thanks for making me panic again
My anxiety is really fun to deal with for me
You think I can do this
But I really really can’t
Sure I’m smart enough
But that ain’t the problem
What do you think my tolerance level is?
I’m not invincible
Far from it
And stress is a real *****
Stress leads to anxiety
Is that really such a twist?
Anxiety leads to me panicking
Ain’t that just lovely?
And panicking causes more stress
No duh
And the cycle begins again
You thought I could walk into a mega church
5,000+ strong
I don’t know how you could think that
When I panic in a room full of 2,000- strong
And I knew at least half of them
You say I’m fine at RFK
But that’s completely non-sequeter
Because it really isn’t the same
Sure there’s way more people
But the environment ain’t the same
Cause A, it’s a DC United game
B, I know the lay
C, I know the people
D, I know the players
E, I know the rules
F, I don’t have to keep quiet, I can yell and rave and swear
G, if I panic I can go somewhere
H, I don’t have to watch the game
Or pay attention to center stage
I have neighbors all around
All I gotta do is turn around
And say hi
How are you?
My name’s Julia, whats yours?
Well nice to meet you George
Do you like to write?
Yes, yes I do
I write Fanfiction, how about you?
I, I don’t feel like I’m in a cage
J, I do panic, I just don’t panic as bad
As I do in a loud room
Full of people I DON’T KNOW
In an area I don’t know the lay of
Or know how the people act
Where I can’t distract my self
Where I don’t know the routine
When I have to pay attention
To a dude up on a stage
That I’ve never even heard of
K, I know the routine of everything at RFK, I know the chants, and the rants, and the yells, and the smells
The rules and the cools of social interaction
The do’s and don’t ‘s of stadium reaction
So don’t say that RFK, Which feels like home by the way
Is anything like a Megachurch in Arizona
You tell me to try
And I try
I do
So don’t say I don’t
Because it really isn’t true
But I can only go so far
Before I fall apart
Because life, school, and stress
Try to tear me apart
So me being lazy
Is me trying to hold myself together
And it ain’t really lazy
When I write, and I read
And sometimes I bleed
So shut the **** up
And leave me alone