Angelica

Angelica Mar 2017

I remember the day Oscar Grant was murdered...
News casters surrounded my neighborhood,
Oakland's very own Fruitvale Bart had made the headlines.
Every morning I watched the 7:00 news,
My 7 year old brain So confused as to why the black man was being beaten by the White man
I was so young but I understood,
"Mr. Grant was not armed"
I understood,
"Grant did every thing he could to comply"
I understood,
"Please just let me go, I have a daughter"
I understood...
That his Black face was created to hate.
I understood,
That he was just another tale of the young black Man.
his story now told by his mother,
"He was a good boy"
"He ain't never did nothin' to nobody"
"He was taken away from his child, now she has to grow up without a father."
Now, his mother has to live on without a son.
Now,His sisters have to keep living without their brother.
Now, his girlfriend has to live with out the love of her life
Now, I cannot stand In Fruitvale Bart without thinking about the Black man who lost his life to the white mans Power trip...
Without looking at my black hands
Without getting on my black knees
And praying, "God please...
Lay your protecting hands on my brothers,
On my uncles,
On my grandfather,
On my father."
God please,
Let him comply when the white man pulls out his gun
when the white man says "get on your knees"
when the white man says "hands up or I'll shoot"
Let my black brother live,
God Please.

Angelica Mar 2017

Untitled

Remember when you found the faulty brick in my
   walls?
You pulled it out and watched the guards I put up tumble and
            fall.
I was mad but you knew that I would get over it
                 all.
I drew a circle around my self and I curled into a
                     ball.
Pushed you so far away I no longer hear you
                           call.
But some how... you found your way back to
                                     me.
You led me out of my comfort zone and showed me all there was to
                                              see.
You kissed my forehead and told me never again would I be
                                                        alone.
You wrapped you arms around me and I knew you were my new
                                                                    **home.

Angelica Jan 2017

Toxic

I didn't know that it would last that long.
8 months and 3 days
I don't understand where we went wrong.
We were toxic
But baby YOU were my favorite song
And every time I heard you I couldn't help but sing along.

The smell of your skin implanted itself in my mind
I craved your lips...
they were completely pristine.

But at some point I became allergic to your flavor.
The taste of your love, something I could no longer saver.
We were toxic with each other, always on our worst behavior.

Angelica Dec 2016

Freshman

Freshman Year
You're 15, and you don't know who you are yet
But you're ****** good at faking it.

No one loves you...
at least not the way you want them to.
And you OBVIOUSLY have a best friend
that you can swear gets more attention than you
Which makes you insecure.
You're lonely and a little jealous

And then you meet him.
He holds your hand on the bus.
He stares deeply in your eyes.
He tells you that you're beautiful.

You cling to him like velcro.
He says he loves you...
he promises you things,
says he'll give you only the best.

But you're only a freshman.
You don't know how things work yet
but you do know that you're in love
and that no one can take that away.
....And you continue to think this....
until the words fall out of his mouth in one breath

And with those words he sends you away
and your world becomes a purposeless abyss.
You are officially over.

You can feel your heart come crashing down into the darkest pits of your stomach.
You feel it shatter.
And the tears come down like a water fall
It hurts for weeks...
but darling you're only 15.

15 is the year of regret.
It's teenage heart break in the flesh
It is new things
New people
and new feelings.

My love, you are a freshman
and your just learning that
... **** like this happens.
Your heart...
It has a band aid on it
but it's still beating.
Your life is over
but you're still breathing.

On to the next one,
still, no one
can tell you anything.

Dec 2016

Abigail Sedgwick

writer's reverie

my ego so easily constructs
     a fantasy
in which you, my favorite reader,
       t
           r
       i
           p
over my words and fall into
a wonderland
     with me

a single small s  p  a  c  e
between the blackness of
     these letters
and you fall into my fantasy
where we relish in
     our fetters

we forget to climb back out
as the passion starts
     to mount

we lose our minds with pleasure
hands and mouths
     d      i
           s      c
                 o      v
                       e     r
                             hidden treasure

the words that you pour out
my own that you soak up
leave us beggingpleadingscreaming
till our keyboards
light back up

Angelica Dec 2016

Happy Face

They say don't Judge a book buy its cover
My book has a giant happy face slapped right on the front
It has 5 star ratings
And... critics LOVED it
But inside my book there's a bit of darkness.

Look closely at the pages and you'll see the dried tears.
Read in between the lines,
Every time she says, "I'm fine."
she really means "no one see’s the pain here".

And she doesn't even tell you about her eating disorder
because, well... that would ruin the story.

She always mentions her dead brother as if he's here,
some times forgetting that he's not
because honestly, that's all she's got.

And she can't even say her own name,
because with comes a think layer of shame.

she- she doesn't know who she is yet,
but that's okay because the happy face hides that!

The happy face keeps her secret.
It holds her together,
makes sure all her pages don't fly away,
Tells no one that she'd rather be dead than here today.
And she is who she is because of the happy face,
it hides that inside... she is a sad disgrace.

You see... her cover, it binds her pages,
It hides her rages,
Makes sure her tears are ALWAYS in their cages
Her happy face, it is contagious.