titingnan ko kung may natira pa rin ba sa latak ng tinta ng 'yong alaala o ipinipilit ko lang na palabasin ang iyong anino sa lahat ng aking nakikita o nadarama.

sana makalimutan na kita, kahit pa mahal kita. sa totoo lang nagtapos ang lahat sa isang pagkakamali: ang iwan ka matapos makahanap ng iba. akala ko masyado na kitang mahal at pagkakataon namang ilaan ko ang pagal kong puso para sa iba, pero hindi 'yon nangyari. bumabalik lamang ako sa'yo sa tuwing nakikita ko ang ngiti nila mula sa'yo, o ang mahahaba **** pilikmata kung nakapikit ang mga mata at tangan ang iyong ulo sa balikat ko.

nagniningning ka kahit madaling araw. ang pagkaway ng buwan sa tuwing titingala ako ang nagkakanlong sa ating mga gunita. ikaw ang nakikita ko sa lahat ng aking mga inibig at susubukang ibigin.  ikaw lang ang kaya kong balikan matapos layuan. ikaw lang.

ikaw lang ang hindi ko kayang hagkan o halikan kahit gusto ko man. nais kong hawakan ang 'yong kamay o hawiin ang mga buhok sa mukha at tuluyan nang halikan
sa noo.
ikaw lang ang kaya kong lubusang mahalin na hindi ko puwedeng gawin, dahil
takot ako.
lumipas na ang maraming taon ngunit nasasakin pa rin ang takot kong 'to. ang sabi nila matatakutin daw ako, oo pero hindi sa multo o engkanto, kung hindi sa pagmamahal na hindi totoo at mabilis maglaho. hindi ganoon ang pag-ibig ko, marahil ang pag-ibig mo, pero natakot din ako sa'yo. dahil gusto mo pang maglaro at malaki na ako para diyan.

ayaw kong maglaro pa ng habulan o mataya-taya.
hindi na ako bata.
tanggalin mo na ang piring sa mata dahil sa hanapan daga, ako lang ang tanging sasalubong sa'yo at magsasabing, "simula't simula pa lang, ako na ang talo, ako na ang taya."

i'm afraid to touch you

hell, what am i gonna do?
if i unconsciously held you in my arms
and told you i loved you
for the longest time i held back
from touching you
god, what am i gonna do
if my fingertips suddenly traced your cheeks
and had my soul drawn
by your million galaxy eyes
heaven knows, what i could do
if i touched your hips and the back of your neck
and carressed your hair
tucked it behind your ears
demons living inside me
might devour your lips and enter your mouth
rummage your tongue and live inside you

i'm afraid to touch you

you weren't
you've always had your hand beside me
but i couldn't take the risk
what if it's just me?

i'm afraid to touch you

you're not worth-taking the risk
i've held my heart behind the bars of my ribs
for how much long i could possibly lead
a short time of euphoria is never a risk
i would be willing to take for a second of bliss
guess suffering wouldn't be called so
if having you all the time is all i could afford
that i'll be more than willing to hoard

i'm afraid to touch you

you have no idea
how i've been on my wit's end
you have no idea
how you were a huge tease
the sun rises
the sun sets
but the only thing constant
would be my feeling's change
it grows more each day
and wants you more like a prayer

you have no idea
why i would not embrace you
when all i wanted to do was to do so
every morning and evening of my life
you have no idea,
why i won't hold your hand back
when all i wanted to do was to show them
it was mine
or it could have been mine
you were wondering why i froze with your gaze
you have no idea
how my heart pumps deuce
how my veins expand

and you call me red
when all i feel was blue
the coldness of my feet
the winter in my hand
the constrictor in my lungs
you were wondering why i won't look at you
you have no idea
because i look when no one else does
because i look at you not the way others can see you

i wish i wasn't afraid to touch you
i wish i was selfish
when it comes to you

Sa susunod kong iibigin

Hindi ko nais ng mga larawan
Nakasabit sa mundo upang maarawan
Dahil hindi ito isang bulaklak sa halamanan
Tubig ang kailangan ng mga bakawan
At ang kuwadro ng bulalakaw ay sa kalangitan

Hindi ko nais ng mga larawan
Hindi mapurol ang lente ng aking mga mata
Upang palitan ang pagsulyap ko sa'yo ng isang shot ng camera
Nais kong tingnan ang mga labi mo't makita
Ang kurba nito't pula,
Taingang nag-iinit kung bibiruin kamo kita
Sa tuwing sasabihin kong ikaw ay maganda

Hindi ko nais malaman nila
Hindi sa inaangkin kong akin ka
Dahil ikaw ay sa mga tala, kailanma'y hindi ko pag-aari ka
Hindi ko nais malaman nila
Dahil ang nasa labas ay madalas ipinapakita lamang ay maganda
At ang larawan kung minsan ay imahe ng hindi totoo
Ng saglit na pagtipa kung 'aayon ba sila dito?'

Maikling pagtatagpong hindi itinadhana
Hindi ko nais na sa loob ng kwadrong ito ka maalala
May kwento ang bawat larawan
At madalas sa mga ito ay pulos pighati lamang

Hindi ko nais na umayon sa lipunan at kung ano ang kanyang idinidikta
Hindi ko nais dumating ang araw na tatanungin kita kung totoo ka ba

Why did I let myself
Leave a first love
A keepsake from a blissful childhood
Being kept for long until the day
Starts to fade and bring me to oblivion

Just as I realize
I started picking up the sword again
Slash the throats of those beasts
Let the darkness devour the outside

Oh how I wanted to come back to the first love
I left behind the changing tides
Now it takes tears to tame
Sweat and blood for those open arms
Of that beautiful dame

Here I am again
Whining like them
****** songs in my ears
Holding up my long held tears
******* music in my mind
Rapping like your annoying words

Here I am again
Blurring my sight
Boiling my blood expanding my veins
Why the **** does this EDM music have loud vocals
Makes them sound like the accent of locals

Here I am again
Trying to exist
Enduring a ****** phase
I wonder why I did

Here I am again
I was in love when I came here
I stayed devastated
I ended up coming back worst

how do you love someone like, properly?
this question lingers on my mind
because when was the last time i did?

when was the last time my ego wasn't fed
with words that truly hurt i carelessly said?
when was the last time i lie down on bed
thinking if not for grace i would have been dead

that grace was love, the blood of those who bled

i forgot how to love someone
because when was the last time i did?
how do you let feelings progress
how do you let your guard down
and let both of you drown

i forgot how you should take care of someone you love
let the flowers bloom in winter
and in summer don't let them wither

i want to remember as much as you do
to take courage and stop feeling blue
everyone has no clue
that this ****** poem is for you
i'm not even sure if this is true
because i can't remember the right kind of hue
to call this love or just fondness of you
just please don't say i love you too
i want to remember first what it is like to love you
without remembering a sad story of me and her
the time passed and i have endured
but loving others beside her is too much to bear
i know but i never did but please remember i care
i just want to find the lost love i can't find anywhere
the one i thought would last the wear and tear

i want to remember how to love properly
the one where you don't feel insecure with someone's love
that you feel that the love is more than enough
to doubt any move or a subtle laugh
and when you got anxious having heard her cough
searching everywhere to find the right drug
to be an antidote to this pain called love

when you feel like you were the extension of her
when you don't wanna stay away and just stare
without having fear of running away
without having fear of a fading love
without having to forget how to love