The last few months were a mess
and I did not know how to handle life at this point
i was out of mind
i was stressed out
i had no energy
but most of all i was scared of the changes

2018 was a very strange year and i would have never imagined it like this
did not expect this much pain
did not expect this much tragedy and horrors

i stopped writing.
i did not try it any longer
a few small poems but nothing too much
the moment i stopped writing
the moment my heart let go of this need
i was filled with an unknowing void
it claimed my heart and soul
and i let it pass
oh, how stupid i was

now
i got tickled by a small idea in my head
something to write
to tell
to share
i sat infront of my laptop
and suddenly it hit me
i started shaking
i was scared of writing

i realized
i was scared of writing because when i write
i am the most honest to myself

What would I give
For those sweet hands of his
Floating over the keys of the piano
To touch me just this once
And make me play
the most beautiful tones

Fana no iro Fa
uturi ni keri na
itadura ni
waga mi yo ni Furu
nagame sesi ma ni


The colour of this flower
Has already faded away,
While in idle thoughts
My life goes by,
As I watch the long rains fall.

Like the little stream
Making its way
Through the mossy crevices
I, too, quietly
Turn clear and transparent.

The thief left it behind:
the moon
at my window.

Too lazy to be ambitious,
I let the world take care of itself.
Ten days' worth of rice in my bag;
a bundle of twigs by the fireplace.
Why chatter about delusion and enlightenment?
Listening to the night rain on my roof,
I sit comfortably, with both legs stretched out.

The problem is not even that im giving others second chances.
The problem is that i give myself seconds chances to give them to others.

Does that make sense?