Silence sometimes is suffering unsaid….
Silence sometimes means a mountain of words utterly unspeakably unorganized…
Silence is a recipe for misconstrues
Silence is also a relief from the burden of words
Silence is a veil of the mind and it’s contents
Silence is anything but silent noiselessness……
Its a loud or soundest expression which can never be known till the pact of silence is intact….!!!!!!

Zahir se mat tolo faqat meri zeest ka mayaar...
Ahem ke saare mudde to chupe hue hain yaar...
Pal pal mein kitna jeete hain marte hain kitni baar...
Pal pal se seenchi umr ka kaise karo Hisaar...

There’s a little corner in my heart
Which is bespoken from the start

I used this corner on my own
For a little moment all alone

This corner was a precious bit
I let no one but myself sit

It was reserved for the precious one
No one but me was that person

My love with me this corner saw
I could safely let me here thaw

Then one day my heart saw a rush
All around there was a gush

It’s beats reached up peaks really high
And Every inch let out a sigh

It was the day you entered here
Awed my heart you musketeer

You searched around for a living space
In that corner you found your place

An invasion I couldn’t stop
Your charm was making my heart throb

I tried to get you out of there
After all this was all my sphere

I heard a voice in the background run
Isn’t this space for the special one..??

I guess I loved you more than me
Coz in that corner I let you be

It’s seldom, that in such a far away land, we find;
Someone so generous, caring, considerate and kind;

It’s just once in a while we come to know,
To be of service to others- a person who’s taken such a vow;

Who’s wandered not from place to place
For better world and life to grace

Who’s forever taken what came in
Without contempt or complaint and with just a grin

Who firmly believes in lending a hand
And give support to those leaning to stand

Who’s sweetened the lives of those he knew
Sure such people exist rare and few

Who’s made it a part of his personality
To serve the cause of all humanity

What must’ve inspired God to make
Just a pretty heart just for his sake

He’s a man so soft hearted and selfless
For him wordly matters are just worthless

Anything in return he wants not
Just content with the happiness got

He’s filled with love and compassion for all
His greatness makes us all so small

Who’s always spread happiness from the start
No doubt it’s difficult for us to depart

I pray, the way he’s been to all
May life’s same blessings on him befall..!!

~Noorulain Sulemani

Get ready…

Get ready for the initial teeny weeny troubles…
Which as the baby grows up - doubles..!

Get ready for the sounds of never ending cries…
And ofcourse the stains of dropped pies..!!

Get ready for the patches of spilt milk…
So better store in your sarees, all those that are made of silk..!

Get ready to find teddy’s and goofy’s and other stuffed toys all lying here and there..
Not forgetting the guns, dolls and brick games scattered everywhere..!!

Get ready for the sleepless nights..
And with the baby around - no dreams of queens and knights..!

Get ready for the messy marks of ******..
Which often don’t count a lot, after those wetty loving little kisses..!!

Get ready for those around the house walks..
In making the baby sleep and in return get those ununderstood squeeky baby talks..!

Get ready for those lovely moments of love and affection forever..
And cherish these with tender touches which can be forgotten never..!!

Get ready for a whole lot of change - an absolutely new life..
I’m sure which you can tackle for you’re a wonderfully efficient wife..!

And yeah..! Be sure to get ready when the baby says - “mother”
Do get me another nice and chubby naughty little brother…!!

And this one here is a very small prayer…
Which comes from the bottom of my heart—
For all i can do
In helping you
Is that I can be here and pray
Be the baby hale and hearty to God in my prayers is all I say..
May all dreams that youve seen and have believed in come true..
And may life be smooth and happy and gay and bright for both baby and you…

“It was the first snowfall of the year. ......"

Standing by the window pane , I could see the snowflakes take its place, slowly,  one by one upon the bench by the backyard. Just like I could feel the winter our relationship had for the first time experienced. Cold moments were taking its place now upon our once really warm association.

Last night was the first night that we had slept without that warm snuggly embrace. How could he have forgotten that we had decided never to sleep over a row?
How could he have been so sound asleep when I was struggling to stop the flow of those tears?
How could he not feel, hear, sense my despair over such a cold indifference?
Was I overreacting?  
May be.
But never before had he left me weeping like that and turned over to the other side and calmly coldly slept through the night.

I imagined that the morning will bring a heart warming smile and in an instant melt away all of those frozen feelings of sorrow to give way to a beautiful spring of love that which always flowed from the depths of his heart to merge with the ocean of love in mine.

But the morning brought extended disappointment as he dressed up in the same cold indifference and walked off to continue the day. Leaving me with a shuddering shiver and a taste of the first snowfall of the year. ...........

“Winter had arrived....”

.....and then it came.....unalarmed. ....sudden.....the slap on her face. ....

The argument had started the previous day.  The matter didn't even matter as it was so trivial. But the fight was big.
She first made her timid suggestions and then put them a bit firmly as she strongly believed in the plan....A plan they had both carefully plotted ......she cud not fathom the sudden change and he cud not fathom the disagreement. ....

Two years into the marriage. ...still primitive. ...still raw. ...still fresh. ...still. .........

She hadn't quiet recovered from the shock of what had just happened when the phone rang. ....one hand on the cheek she answered the phone with the other. ....

Mom it had to be. ....
"Happy birthday to you meri jaan...."
"Did you already get your birthday gift. ..???!!!"

"Thanks Ammi....Oh yes I did. ...and I am holding it with my other hand....."

He hadn't seen her since the day they left high school......

And....now. ....here. ...at the police station. ......in the middle of the night. ....

He an average boy then, she an outstanding girl - what could have  conspired against her for her to be the girl he was witnessing. .?

As his eyes screened her shabby self her involvement with a bunch of people who's sordid deeds were being penned down by the cops, he was saddened - deeply.

He could feel his secret emotions flooding his heart back once again.

He slipped out the page which had her name off the pack of sheets of FIR's being drafted, as an IG he could risk this tiny bit of impropriety.

She was a rag, **** ripped and delirious.

He couldn't help but probe into the horrifying transformation from a brilliant, outgoing,  multi talented, beautiful girl. ..a favourite of the teachers, envy of every girl and desired by every boy......just like the desire he held in his heart......

It was love. ........
Her love for the boy who's dream to be the topper could be true but for her topping each and every time. His lust for revenge dipped in a coating of fake love devastated her and crushed her personality down to scrap.

His eyes filled up for the first time since the last time he had seen her. His dry empty broken heart suddenly experienced moistening by droplets of long lost love returning and filling his heart and his life.......

Slowly but surely he was going to bring her lost self back....

Her revival now was his purpose restored....!!!!

“Hum to hain bas parinde aasmaanon mein basar apna...
Kuch hi din ka theherna phir shuru hota Safar apna...
Ruke hain hum to bas jholi ko kuch neki se bharne ko...
Bulandi par hai jaana khoob ke us par hai ghar apna...”

Khoobsoorti sadaf ki be misaal hoti hai....
Raaz hai uska jo chipa us mein ek moti hai.....

Sadaf ke do pat gar misaal e miya biwi hain...
Unki shadi ka rishta hi woh chipa moti hai...

Naazuk magar bohot woh baareek taar hota hai. ....
Jo us moti ko bana ke haar apne mein pirota hai...

Lamhe se lamha judta hai to ek zindagi banti hai...
Aur do zindagiyan milti hai to  ek shadi ki ladi banti hai...

Qadam se qadam milane mein khud ki pehchaan bhi khoti hai...
Alag se rang mein rangi phir shaksiyat dono ki nikharti hai....

Azwaji zindagi ke kuch apne masale bhi hote hain...
Kaanton se bhari raahon mein paththar bhi biche hote hain....

Zakhm in rahon par chal kar zaroor hasil hote hain...
Tab woh dono hi to ek duje ka marham hote hain...

17 saalon mein maine to bas itna hi seekha hai....
Hai woh kaamyaab rishta mohabbat se jisko seecha hai...

Sona chandi jis tarah ek aurat ko sajata hai...
Pyar o ehteraam waise hi rishte ko banata hai...

Wafa ka bhi to ek bohot ehm muqaam hota hai...
Qaayam uske dam pe hi to aitmaad hota hai....

Kuch aise hi to daqeeq yeh uroosi rishte hote hain....
Beinteha mohabbat se jinhe in jodon ne seechein hain...

25 o 50 salon ka yeh safar e taweel mubarak **. ..
Aapko yeh khoobsurat qaid e hayaat mubarak **. ..

Dua karti hain "Ain" laa zawal mausam e ulfat **....
Masrur rahe hayaat, har lamha pur rifaqat **...

Tum se yeh mohabbat ka jo shewa Maine pehna hai
Ab kya kahun ke kafan ka kapda Maine pehna hai

Har shai mein teri yaadon ka sehra maine pehna hai
Kaanton se jo bana hai woh zewar Maine pehna hai

pal bhar ka wasl phir wada e hijr maine pehna hai
Anjaam e ishq ka yeh naya tamgha Maine pehna hai

Wafa ke ghar jafa ka yeh keechad maine pehna hai
Ilzaamon ke rangon ka ek saaya maine pehna hai...

Kya kahun Ae Ain ishq mein kya kya Maine pehna hai
Haya ko karke tark libaas e behaya pehna hai...

Saraab....

Tu ek khayaal se zyada kuch aur tha bhi nahi...
Bas ek khwaab se zyada tu kuch hua bhi nahi...
Woh ek zakhm jo dil ko kabhi mila hi nahi...
Tu hai woh dard jo mehsus ** saka hi nahi...

Woh lafz the mehez alfaaz sach hue hi nahi....
Na haq vo baaton ke parde kabhi khule hi nahi...
Humare ijz ka un par asar hua hi nahi...
Ki inkisari mein hum ne bhi kuch kaha hi nahi....

Teri ranjish kabhi dil ko hui ata hi nahi...
Mera daaman teri khalish se bhar saka hi nahi...
Woh faasla kabhi jo paar kar sake hi nahi...
Woh raasta ke jin pe paon chal sake hi nahi...

Tu ek yaad hai jise yaad rakh sake hi nahi...
Tu ek saraab hai jise haath dhar sake hi nahi...
Aazmana kisi ko kab yeh achchi aadat hai...
Aazmaish se hum kabhi juda hue hi nahi...

Ke intekhaab jo tera maine kiya tha kabhi...
Munasebat ke daayre se vo juda hi nahi...
Woh ek sada jo kabhi pesh kar saka hi nahi...
Vo ilteja kabhi bhi tu jo sun saka hi nahi...

Meri aankhon ko deed tera ** saka hi nahi...
Teri khushboo se **** mera tar hua hi nahi...
Woh jo qurbat sa kuch mehsus ** raha tha mujhe...
Wasl ka lutf woh mujhe kabhi mila hi nahi...

Kyun jo tu khud parast nahi to dekhta hi nahi...
Kyun nigaah tu meri taraf phira saka hi nahi...
Woh jo sehra tumhe yun sabz nazar aata raha...
Saraab tha kabhi waha yahan hua hi nahi...

Kaha tha us ne ke mujh ko bas ek nida dena...
Ae dil tu maan le tha tu ne yeh suna hi nahi...
Teri nigaah mein umeed ek basi thi jo “Ain”...
Nazar ka dhoka tha ke kuch kabhi basa hi nahi....

Tere kufr ne ***** mujhe Aabid bana diya...
Dho dho ke zanb ashkon ne - saafi bana diya..

Guzre hue lamhon ka kya karun main tazkara....
Tere khayaal ke har pal ne faakir bana diya...

Tere kalaam e sang ne itna kiya maa’il...
Guftaar ke us qehr ne saaquib bana diya...

Saada dili ke jurm ne di itni ranjishein...
Dil e masoom ko dehr ne waqif bana diya...

Ab wasl ke khwaab bunte baithi ** jo “Ain”...
Dekho ke hijr ne tumhe khwabid bana diya...

Ab neend aa rahi hai bohot
Ab so jaana hi padega...

Socha tha kuch baat kar leti
Raat ka haal pata kar leti...
Der magar ** rahi hai bohot
Ab so jaana hi padega
Ab neend aa rahi hai bohot....

Tum jis neend ke dariya mein...
Tair rahe ** khwabon mein...
Us dariya ki ab talab hai bohot...
Ab so jaana hi padega
Ab neend aa rahi hai bohot....

Uthe nahi tum ab tak bhi
Soye nahi hum ab tak bhi
Waqt zalim mein farq hai bohot
Ab so jaana hi padega
Ab neend aa rahi hai bohot....

Tumhare zakhm pe marham ka sila kab maanga
ponche jo aansoo tumhare to sila kab maanga
Humare peeth pe khanjar ka nishaan hai yeh jo
Karam ka itna azeeem hum ne sila kab maanga

Jaante ** na ke muntazir hoti *** main. .....
Tumhare sone ke baad bedaar hone ki....
bedaar hone pe tumse pyari si kuch baatein sun ne ki ....
Phir maiñ kuch kahun phir tum kuch kaho. ....
Phir ab jaana hoga hi bhale se kyun na kaho. ...
Jaante ** na ke muntazir hoti *** main. ...

Tumhari jhalak aane ki kab dikhe mujhe. ...
Mere dil ki baaton ko Kab keh paun main   tujhe. ..
Maiñ ab tak soyi nahi *** tere intezaar mein yeh. ...
Paigham pohunch jaaye bas pata chal jaaye tujhe....
Jaante ** na ke muntazir hoti *** main. ...

Yeh milon ki doori mite na mite. ...
Yeh waqt ki doori mite na mite. ...
Yeh Din aur raat ka chakkar Kate na Kate. ...
Bas sirf lafzon ke raabte se jud jaaun main phir se. ....
Jaante ** na ke muntazir hoti *** main. ....

Tum so rahe ** jaan....

Par is dil e bechain ka kya karun jo betaabi aur behaali ki zanjeeron mein jakda hua tadap raha hai. ....

Tum so rahe ** jaan....

Par is dil e nadaan ka kya karun Jo nahi jaanta.... nahin samajhta....nahin maanta... bas machal Raha hai .....

Tum so rahe ** jaan.....

Par is dil e ghafil ka kya karun jo bhool Jata hai raat aur din ke adaab....us ke tareeqe...us ke harkaat...sukunaat.....bas khud hi khud woh to intezaar mein khoya rehta hai....

Tum so rahe ** jaan.....

Par is dil e jahil ka kya karun jo faslon ke hudood se na waqif hai. ...is se naap tol aur hisaab nahi hota bas ghadi ke kaanton pe tak take lagaye sochta rehta hai ke is waqt ke zalim kaanton ki ghulami use kyun karni pad rahi hai . ...

Tum so rahe ** jaan. ...

Par is dil e Masoom ko kaise kahun ke use dharakte rehna hoga. ....Saanson ki maala ko simar te rehna hoga. .....jitna bhi mushkil ** use jeete rehna hoga. .....ke wohi tareeqa hai wohi raasta hai. ....usi tapish se guzarke use rahat e raabta e dildaar hasil hoga. ......

Khair tumhe kya pata. .....

Tum to so rahe ** na jaan.......

Kuch fasanon ko afsana hi bana rehne do...
Behtar bhi yehi hai ke yeh ishq fana rehne do....

Haan yeh Maana ke Jab dil ke taar jud jaate hain....
Un dilon mein phir shanasaaiyan badh jaate hain...

Par Jab ek din unki rahon ko juda hona hai....
Har qadam par phir unko to kuch khona hai....

Aise rishte pe ek lagaam si hi rehne do. ....
Sabr karlo saqi ke jaam dhara rehne do. ...

Faasle bante hain to badh ke inhe badhne do...
Wasl ke khwaab ko libaas e hijr se sajne do...

Haan woh tha ek deewana aur uski Noor thi tum. ...
"Ain" mein uske basi past e shakl e **** thi tum....

Ashk ki shakl mein ab aankh mein bas jaane do....
Aaine aab mein dayam use kho jaane do....

Bhale se door hain hum tum Bhale se chu nahi sakte. ...
Bhale se saath saath hum is safar mein chal nahi sakte....

Bhale se hum Kadam tu aur maiñ ab  ** nahi sakte......
To kya jo haath mere tere baalon mein nahi tikte. ....

To kya jo honth ki garmi mere honthon pe nahi hai. ...
Bhale se **** tera mujh se kuch lipta sa nahi hai. .....

Mere is dil mein jo ehsaas hai Woh kam to nahi hai. ...
Teri jo rooh chhuti hai mujhe woh kam to nahi hai. ...

Tune hai jo diya woh pyar mujhe kam to nahi hai. ....
Tera na hoke bhi mujh par Jo haq hai kam to nahi hai. ...

Labon pe hai mere muskaan aankhein nam to nahi hai. ...
Meri nida pe tu aayega yaqeen kam to nahi hai. ....

Tere khayaal ki garmi ko main mehsoos karti ***. ...
Tasawwur mein sahi tujh se mulaqaat roz karti ***. ....

Tere wujood se mera yeh jo wujood juda hai....
Marasim kuch tera aisa meri dhadkan se juda hai......

Bhale se tu tadapta hai udhar main bhi tadapti ***....
Tadap mein hain jo yaksaan hum yeh bhi to kam to nahi hai. ....

Tumhara zikr hote hi labon pe yeh jo aati hai. ..
Khushi ki lehr mein woh muskurahat kam to nahi hai. ....

Woh raaton ki woh baaton ke natije kam to nahi hai. ....
Mohabbat ki humari daastaanein kam to nahi hai. ....

Mujhe pukarti hai tere aahon ki woh khamoshi.....
Mujhe sanwaarti hai tere aankhon ki woh madhoshi......

Tamannaon ke dariya pe yeh kashti chal to rahi hai. ...
Ke jab tak saans hai "Ain" teri tujh par mar to rahi hai. ....

Suno zara ke maiñ jo keh rahi *** aaj yeh tum se.....
Maiñ ab tak *** hayat is dehr mein yeh kam to nahi hai. ....

Yeh sab jo zikr hai maine kiya yeh kam to nahi hai. ....
Mana ke paas tu Mere nahi par gham to nahi hai. ...

Zakhm tera gul ko Shabnam ki tarah azeez hai lekin.....
Kya karun Shams is Shabnam ko panapne nahi deta. ....
Dard deta to hai yun tujh se bichadne ka khayaal.....
Par khayaal tera mujhe tujh se bichadne nahi deta. .....

"Mohabbat" lafz hi aisa hai
Aghaaz hurf e meem iska..
Aur Tey se khatm hota hai. ...
Gar maiñ jo meem hoti ***...
To tum phir ta se hote **.....
Mohabbat lafz hi aisa hai. ...
Shuru jab maiñ se hota hai
To phir tum par hi rukta hai
Humari is mohabbat mein
Main thi hi kab tum hi tum the...
Parasti khud ki tum ne ki
Meri awaaz suni kab thi...
To phir kaisi mohabbat thi
To phir kaisa fasana tha
Yeh ishq "hum" se begana tha
Ise to Mar hi jaana tha
Ise to Mar hi jaana tha.....

Ek Ehsas woh bhi hai
Aur ek Ehsas tu bhi hai
Woh todta hi chala ja raha hai
Tu jodta hi chala ja raha hai

(A feeling was that - which was him...
A feeling is that - which is you...
He kept on breaking
You kept on mending)

Woh kal ki meethi khushboo liye
Mere wujood ko tilmila raha hai
Tu aaj ke haseen waade ke saath
Kadam se Kadam badha raha hai

(He was using the fragrance of the sweet past
And making my existence shatter
You are here with me with a promise of today
Moving ahead with me walking hand in hand)


Woh khud parast apni marzi ke
Zakhm dhaaye ja raha hai
Tu hamdili se un zakhmon par
Pyar ka malham laga raha hai

(That self worshipper in his own will
Went on giving me wounds
You have only compassion to give
And are healing my painful wounds with your undying love)

Woh apne lafz zubaan pe meri
Rakh kar chalna chah raha hai
Tu honthon ki chuppi par meri
Man hi man muskaa raha hai

(He placed his words on my tongue
And made me say what he wanted to hear
You are happy with the silent curving of my lips
And your heart is contented with only my happiness)

Woh beete dinon ke safhon ko
Bhooli kitaab se chura raha hai
Tu dil pe gade hue lafzon ko
Rahat e jaam pila raha hai

(I can’t translate this very well...
He was stealing the pages of days gone by
From a book which was long forgotten
{And trying to make an impact by using matters which pained in the past}
You are nurturing the words of my heart
With nourishment of contentment and everlasting happiness)

Woh apne "ain" ke aaine mein
Tasweer purani dikha raha hai
Tu haath mera haathon mein liye
Naye rangon se Saja Raha hai. ..

(He showed in the mirror of his eyes a picture faded and eroded
You are taking my hand in yours and painting a picture full of beautiful pictures of life
{showing me the beautiful side of life})

Ek Ehsas woh bhi hai. ...
Aur Ek Ehsas tu bhi hai. ....

(Afeeling was that - which was him...
A feeling is that - which is you)

Shikwa to bas ek bahana tha...
Tujhe mera dil hi jalana tha...
Kashish ranjish yun banti gayi...
Kehne ko to ek fasana tha. ...

Pal Pal tujh par hi lutana tha
Meri zeest se yeh hi karana tha
Meri rooh par chaya hua tha jo
Saanson ka wohi tarana tha

Teri chaah ko apna banana tha
Meri koshish ka woh nishana tha
Teri zid ka zarb magar mujh par
Jo pada to bas qatilana tha...

Nibha lo rasm e kafan ki ab
Anjaam e wafa yun sikhana tha....
Bejaan sa **** yun pada hai ab.....
Ke "Ain" e arz hi ab thikana tha....

"Duniya meri bachchon mein simat kar chali. ....
Shohar ki maa baap ki khidmat kar chali. ....
Kirdaar ahm mera zamane ke chalan mein....
Aurat *** main har simt mohabbat bhar chali. ..."

Bina jaane haqiqat ko jo tum ilzaam rakhte **. ..
Kathehre mein khada karne se pehle jaante bhi **....???
Ke honthon ki chupi ka kuch ahem maqsad bhi hota hai. ...
Kabhi jo hota hai dikhta nahi dikhta nahi woh hota hai. ....

Phir teri mohabbat yaad aayi
Phir mera bilagna yaad aaya…
Phir teri naseehat yaad aayi
Tera raub wa jalwa yaad aaya…

Tune jitni jheli takleefein
Us dard ka ehsaas yaad aaya…
Tune zindagi bhar jo bhi kiya
Tera jud o karam sab yaad aaya. ....

Teri kaawishein teri koshishein?Tera jaan lagana yaad aaya. ...
Teri neikiyan tere khair amal..
Tera pyaar lutana yaad aaya...

Teri hayaat se seekhe hain jo jo...?Har ek sabaq woh yaad aaya. ...
Tera muskata har dam chehra...?Woh roshan nazara yaad aaya. ....

Ba vaqaar jo jhele gham tune...?Tera sabr se sehna yaad aaya….
Teri zinda dili teri saada dili...?Deen' mein thos aqeedah yaad aaya. ....

Beta, bhai, shohar, walid ** ya dost?Har ek farz nibhana yaad aaya. ....
“Ain" tum bhi amanat daari karo...?Usne hi seekhaya......yaad aaya..???

Phir mera tadapna yaad aaya...
Lamha rukhsat ka jo yaad aaya…
Ae Firoz tu aisi misaal bana.....?Jaane kitnon ko tu yaad aaya. ....

Aaj pyari si ek pari
Mere ghar aayi ...?
Aaj nanni si ek kali
Mere ghar aayi...

Uski khushboo se mehka hai...
Yeh ghar humara?
Beshumaar khushiyan
Mere ghar aayi...

Uski ankhon se roshan
Hai har ek kona?
Lauhe mishkaat banke jo
Mere ghar aayi...

Humne jiske liye ki
Badi mannatein thi?
Woh ek dua e maghbool
Mere ghar aayi...

Uska chehra bhula de
Saare ghamon ko?
Yeh ek aisi basharat
Mere ghar aayi...

Uski pyari tabassum
Zakhmon ka malham

Ek nayi zindagi
Mere ghar aayi...

Usko dekhun to aankhon ko
Thandak aa jaye?
Hai jo Allah ki "Neama"…
Mere ghar aayi...

Jaise dasht o sehra mein
Rahat de waha?
Waisa taskeen e qalb woh
Mere ghar aayi....

Tere daaman mein aalam ki
Saari ** khushiyan?
Mere dil ki tammanna
Mere ghar aayi....?

** yeh tera muqaddar
Suraj sa roshan?
Banke chanda si murat tu
Mere ghar aayi...

Ae khuda tera sajda e
Shukr bajaon?
Teri rehmat se beti
Mere ghar aayi...

Jaise Allah ne jholi "Ain"
Teri hai bhar di?
Sab ko hasil ** daulat jo
Mere ghar aayi....

Bada mushkil tha woh Lamha tere dar se nikal ne ka...
Ke ruqsat ** rahi thi main magar ek juz wahin par tha...

Thi aankhein aansuon se pur qadam aage hi na badhta...
Nazar mein kuch nahi tha Dil mera shiddat ke ranjh mein tha...

Kuch aisi kaifiyat mein chal padi Chalna muqaddar tha...
Kabhi lautungi main dar pe mere Zehn mein mere yehi chalta...

Yun hi chalti rahi, main *** kahan par Yeh na kuch socha...
Jo peeche dekha maine ghar bohot hi door tha choota...

Ke ab to raasta bhi ghar ka mere mujh ko naa dikhta...
Ke kaise jaungi main ghar ko mere mujh ko na tha pata...

Mere atraaf mein bas tha bayabaan aur veeraana...
Zamane bhar ki thokar ka Yeh pehla sa tajurbah tha...

Safar se thak chuki thi main aur mayoosi ka aalam tha
Par Tu ne chod na mujh ko diya Bebas besahara.....

Achanak dasht o sehra mein woh aaya ek masiha tha...
Badi hi door se dikhta mujhe us shaks ka saaya...

Usi ne rehnumaai ki sahi simt us ne dikhlaya...
Khushi se jhoom uthi main jo pata ghar jaane ka paaya...

Mujhe jaana kahan aur kis tarah Yeh ramz tha pehchaana...
Ke saathi ban rahe the "Ain" tere Na Tanha aalam tha...

Safar ab khushnuma tha har taraf manzar suhana tha..
Ke ab bhi chal rahi *** par safar ab na tha anjaana..

I've learnt humility...
tolerance...
patience...
gratitude ...
Forgiveness...
the power of prayers ...
the meaning of kind words...
holding on to hope ...
the value of money...
the effect of positivity...
the face of true friendships and real genuine well wishers.....

Kadam yaadon ke ghere mein
Mera jab bhi kabhi padta
Woh aalam yaad aata tha
Woh aangan yaad aata tha

Woh dopahar mein gulmohar
Pe chadna yaad aata tha
Gulaabon, phal wa phoolon ka
Mehekna yaad aata tha...

Subah koyal ki ku ku ka
Woh shor o gul tha yaad aata
Agasi par tanhayi ka
Woh kona yaad aata tha

Har ek pal ki kahani thi
Woh dastaanon ka har lamha
Us chaukhat ka har ek paththar
Har zarra yaad aata tha

Falak par hi to hota hai
Tasawwur e irum aksar
Sama ki sar Zameen par tha
Jo "Firdaus" yaad aata tha

Padosi ka sulook e khair
Woh rishta yaad aata tha
Padosi ka hi phir hum par
Nishaana yaad aata tha

Woh kaalapan woh sannata
Woh buu e Raakh ka uthna
Mere armanon ke ghar ka
Jalana yaad aata tha

'Ain' ashq ab behta hai to kya
Mita to yeh nahi sakta
Khalish e qalb ka woh pal
Jo aksar yaad aata tha....

As I glance up on my plainly wall...
Hangs there a painting
with all it’s pride....
It’s nailed up well to avoid the fall....
It boasts two colours in its stride......

The white and black stand boldly tall...
But eminence beholds the white....
While black most humbly takes it all.....
The whites vanity reflects the light.....

Thus white’s reject makes it but all dumb....
A laughing stock like President Trump....
But black is knowledge and wisdom....
Loved as dearly as Barack’s term....

A pretty young girl with grace and valor
Was riding with a man in full armor...

“Now....Do you trust me?”
Upon the horse, asked he.

“Yes I do”,she quickly said...
Only coz she was still afraid.

Alas She was now his captive
She wondered if she’ll ever live....

“You know right - I won’t harm you -
In a bit we’ll get this through”.

They rode together in silence
She was surprised by her own resilience

With arms wrapped tight he held her
On his breast could feel her fur

He smelled her curly fruity hair
Admired her face oh! so fair

Her poise was so enchanting
He felt his hard heart now pounding

He was a really tough abductor
But Suddenly he’d now grown softer

She thought of that little boy with his runny nose
But years had passed by and now they were so close

She thought of that moment he went down on his knees
She was about to say “yes” but then oh Jees

In flash she just felt her body flying
Helplessly she saw her love crying

She had been picked by this man on the horse
With a flick of a sword her dream turned corpse

The blood of her love drained out of her eyes...
For days and days the night saw her cries...

The man on the horse was now madly in love...
For first time ever he had found his dove...

She smiled at him but her heart did curse
Her hatred within was turning fierce

And then one day he went down on his knees
She smiled at him and she said “yes” please

There’s just one wish before I be your wife...
She struck in his heart a poisonous knife...

A pretty young girl with grace and valor...
Had avenged a man who was in full armor...

The power of tiny droplets of rain...
Such an effect it can have on a person...
The hearts change...the moods change...
the minds change...the feelings change...
It works as a therapy for my bruised soul...
It works as a balm for where it hurts....
It works to wave away the grief....
For a few moments atleast......
The pleasantries of the sky pouring down...
The fragrance so enchanting...
The freshness in the air...
The cool breeze....
The sound of the droplets hitting the trees...
The wet lands is sight so mesmerizing....
The green vibrancy of the swaying trees....
The mildest of echoes of the chanting birds...
Nature at its absolute best....
God’s creation magnificence...
Oh please don’t stop pouring down on me..!!!!

Tujh ko wafa ki raah mein chalna nahi aaya...
Do roz bhi tu haath ko thaam na paaya...

(You could not learn the art of walking the faithful route...
You could not even hold my hand for a couple of days....)

Meri kahi baaton ko tu sun hi nahi paaya
Teri kahi baaton pe yaqeen bhi nahi aaya

(You could never hear the things I spoke to you....
I could never believe the things that you spoke about..)

Mujh ko nahi hai gham ke tera ishq na paaya...
Gham hai ke ishq dil ko tere chuu hi na paaya...

(I do not regret that I could not have your love....
I regret that love could never touch your heart...)

Khudsaari mein kyun kar ** tumhein kuch nazar aaya
Deed e nazar tha surat e zaati mein samaya

(From amongst your self involvement how could you have been able to see anything...
The vision of your eyes was completely encompassed by self imagery..)

Baaton pe pad gaya hai kyun sannate ka saaya...
Zabaan ko bhi zaayka e alfaaz na aaya...

(Why have the talks now been covered with the shadows of silence...??
Even the tongue could not taste the flavor of words...)

Baksha nahi rehem to tujhe bhi nahi aaya
Aankhon ko meri tune bhi hai kitna rulaya

(You didn’t spare me either and even you could not have mercy on me.....
Even You have made my eyes cry so much)

Har baat par tune berukhi ko hai apnaya...
Har baar maine rishte pe malham hai lagaya

(For everything you resorted to callousness...
Every time I have been putting the bandage to our relationship...)

Dekho tumhe yeh ishq hai kis mod pe laaya...
“Ain” ab to chalo dhal gaya jo tha bas ek saaya...

(Just see at which junction has your love brought me...
Let’s now go”Ain” as that which was just a shadow has set away...)

Tha ek taraf darinda to ek taraf masiha tha...
Donon ne magar chehra insaan ka hi pehna tha....

(On one side was the beast
On another was the messiah
Both wore but
The masks of a human...)

Haan...
Mujhe ab bhi woh din yaad hai...
Hui zindagi jab se aabaad hai...
Suni teri dharkan thi jab ki woh pal...
Lagta hai jaise bas guzra tha  kal...
Aaj...
tu meri beti, khud Mumma bani hai....

(Yes...
I still remember that day...
Since my life has been domiciled
That moment when I heard your heartbeat for the first time...
Feels like that moment has passed just yesterday....

Today....
You my daughter, have become a mother...)


Haan...
khushi se jo aankhein thi nam yaad hai...
Hui tujh se poori jo fariyaad hai...
Thi mujh ko hamesha se chahat teri...
Ki tune mukammil hai duniya meri....
Aur Aaj...
Tu meri beti, khud mumma bani hai....

(Yes....
I remember how my eyes flooded out water in joy...
In you I found all my prayers answered
I had always desired you...
You have completed my world...

And today...
You my daughter, have become a mother...)


Haan...
Tere is hunar par tha mujh ko yaqeen...
Kabhi to banegi tu maa behtareen...
Teri qubiyon par, amal par tere...
Kiye tune sabit gumaan ko mere....
Kyunke Aaj...
tu meri beti, khud Mumma bani hai....

(Yes...
I always believed in this talent of yours
Some day you will be an amazing mother
The confidence I had in your skills and natural aptitude
You have proved me correct in my feelings

Because today....
You my daughter, have become a mother...)

Haan..
Teri aankhon mein aaj jo pyaar hai...
Umr bhar ke rishte ka iqraar hai...
Atoot hai jo rohani yeh taar hai...
Wohi to har ek maa ki talwaar hai...
Jaise Aaj...
Tu meri beti, khud mumma bani hai...

(Yes...
The love that exists in your eyes today
The commitment of a lifelong relationship
It’s a divine thread non-breakable
And that (the love) is every mother’s sword...

Like today...
You my daughter, have become a mother...)

Haan...
Dua “Ain” hai maa ki tere liye....
Har ek pal ** khushiyon ka tu jo jiye....
Banegi tu jab naani ek din kabhi...
Meri dil ko mehsoos karegi tabhi...
Khair aaj...
Tu meri beti, khud mumma bani hai....

(Yes...
Your mothers prayers for you from her core...
Every moment that you like may be filled with happiness...
And one day when you will become a grandma
Then you will know how my heart feels right now...

However today...
You my daughter, have become a mother...)

For my Aini....

May she have mom’s lovely heart
Her dad’s dedication and calm
Her Dana’s brainy part be hers
And Her Daani’s smile and charm

May she be as Mamu-witty
And have Fahim mamu’s valor
And have big nana’s dignity
N Big nani’s resilience galore

But overall I wish she be
Just the way she’s meant
Have a unique personality
And always be content...!!!

Gar main hoti 17 saal ki
Aur tum hote 21 saal
Mujhe bula kar paas tum aate
Mujhe suna ne apna haal
Jo tum mujh ko kehte phir
Chehre se hata ke baal
Shadi karogi mujh se kya tum..??
Chuke haath se mere gaal
Us par main kya kehti phir
Ya deti main kya baat ko taal..??
Is par jab kuch soch fikar ki
Yehi jaana hai dil ka haal...
17 baar bhi poochoge tum
Ab jab beete 17 saal
17 zindagiyan mujh ko
Hai bas beetaani tere naal...

I know... I know.... I know
I know it’s not right
But... I am happy
It’s a very rare happiness
A happiness- though abashed
by the weight of a heavy conscience
Makes me feel so light within .....
I could fly ...
So overwhelmed
So full ...
So-content
I know the stakes are extremely high
Both sides
I know there are only dead ends to this enchanting road....
But I feel like enjoying the now of this road....
I know.... I know.... I know
It’s silly
It’s stupid
It’s dangerous
Crossing the lines of -
Ethics...morals...values...
Honesty...trust...loyalty...
I know all that
But for once
I don’t want to know..........

It's a covert untold, unheard
It's a maze a muddle vague n blurred
It’s to be buried deep beneath
To let the memoirs never be revealed
It’s to be trampled n trodden with feet
To let the epoch cease to breathe
It’s a series of captivated moments
Blissful, poignant, intense, cold
It’s an anecdote of devotion
A self-destructing desire…………………….
A reward a triumph a delusion -
It’s the blessing of an angel
A curse remorseful self-deployed
It’s mountains n plateaus n valleys & the deep sea…
It’s a sigh……!!!!!!! It’s a cry….!!!!!
A chronicle  - non existent
It’s a basic block of thought
That bore the burden of being…
A thought----which burst as a bubble….
Hah…!!! It’s simply my life----
My One Life….

I love you....
I love you so much...
My heart aches...
My eyes tear up....
I love you so much...
That smile of yours....
The warm one...
The casual one...
The comforting one...
But mostly...
The naughty one...
I love your care...
And your concern....
And your caress...
I love your touch....
The soft gentle touch...
The sensuous touch...
And that touch....
Which is like no other....
And I love our talks...
Talks about anything under the sun......
Our discoveries....
And discussions....
But mostly.....
The naughty ones....
Oh..!! I love you
I love you so much....
My heart aches...
And my eyes tear up...!!!!!

Every moment’s to be happy...
It’s easy if we so chose...
Every moment good things happen...
Every moment anxiety goes. ..
Every moment there is reason...
For thanking friends and foes. ..
For every moment there is learning...
As we put our mind to those...
Every moment we are growing...
As we live up to life’s chores...
Every moment it’s possible...
That we can reach up to our goals...!!!

It’s something about you...
That’s changed something about me.....
It’s something about you...
That puts life in every moment I live with you.....
It’s something about you...
I feel as though it were as such
That I live to live those moments with you
It’s Your eyes, your smile , your touch, your feel....
These are but - yet are physical things
I feel so deep a connect with you
I feel you know me better than me
Sometimes you shock me
by revealing the most intimate inner most voice
Sometimes I am awed
At the way you read me
like a favorite poem or a dear quote
You recite the exact me with your words....
You reach you touch you feel you see
My soul.....
Which no one has ever dared to do
Not even me -
I keep wondering
How do you do it.......
But again -
That’s something about you....!!!!!

Yes it’s there in me I hear....
The tiny voice
It has a name
“Conscience”
It speaks to me in a soft tone
A soft deafening tone
Telling me
Threatening me
Warning me
Accusing me
Cursing me
Reminding me
Guiding me
Showing me
My true face
Ugly... scary...
Urging me to see a mirror
I close my eyes
I close my ears
I close my heart
I close my soul
I avoid
I run away
I ignore
Until it’s silenced
A deathly deafening silence......

#Mine #English work

Dilemma

This pumping of heart and the mind unrest
The wants, the needs, the urge, the quest
The thoughts, the feelings, the desire, the filth
The never ending cycle of pleasure and guilt

I see his face and I feel so bad
He’s a wonderful man and a lovely dad
The trust the love and all these years
My gift to him will be pain and tears

When I see myself in the mirror now
I feel like a stranger i am somehow
I am awed by me I am scared of me
The face I see seems so ugly

When I started off I was a girl so nice
How I ended up in this world of vice
Yet do I want to stop and take a turn..??
Not yet...oh hell...there’s more I yearn

I feel a pull like I’ve never felt
His words, his thoughts make my heart melt
I cannot resist I have tried and failed
He makes me feel reborn, unveiled

I fight a battle each sec each day
A Dilemma I face in every way
I cry ...I curse...I seek...I crave
And.....I worry about that moment in grave

It’s a crazy thought of you and me
Doing the things that cannot be
Dancing to the lovely tunes
Racing up the golden dunes...

Snuggling up in air so high
Feel like flying don’t know why
Like a bird soaring up the sky
With u I believe i can fly...

I wanna be there in the night
Gleaming only with moonlight
Sleep with you with stars in sight
Holding hands really tight...

I think of driving far away
In the woods on a beautiful day
To walk that stream with you I feel
I share with you such a timeless zeal...

I feel I’m gettin close to you
With every Sec that’s passing through
Yes our meets indeed been few
But you just don’t feel like new...

I know you.
U know it.
U say that always don’t you..?
You words hint me.
You may deny it.
But I know it.
Why do you beat around the bush..?
Why not talk to me head on..??
It’ll be a good conversation I promise...!
Better than the silence that surrounds our souls.
The uncomfortable feeling.....
The stomach grumbling....
You experience it I am sure.
Let us deal with it like adults.
Lets not run away from what is within us.
Coz what’s within us makes us US.....
Let’s grab the words and let it out....
It’ll be a release....a relief...
Let’s do this for ourselves...
Let’s do this for each other...
Lets talk.

Like the soft breezy cooling air
Like the gentle sun of winter flair....
Like the sight of glorious rains I see....
Just Like that you came to me....

Like water offered on a thirsty day
Like a soft mattress when I tired lay
Like the sight of home what it does to thee...
Just like that you came to me....

Like the soothing sounds of soft jingles...
Like the sea with a sheet of white seagulls....
Like a flower pure fresh and misty.....
Just like that you came to me

My life had seemed so dull to me...
Just then you came and made me see...
How a smile can mean the world to me..,
You gave birth to the mother in me...

Kabhi mujh mein kabhi tum mein phudakti tum to rehti **...
Tumhein bandish mein kya gherun ke dariya si tum behti **...

[Sometimes in me sometimes in you, you keep twitching...
How can I put restrictions around you as you flow like a stream...]

Kabhi dekhun tumhein nazron ko bhar ke dil behel jaaye.....
Kabhi tum par nazar gir kar bhi nazrein bas taras jaaye.....

[Sometimes when I watch you my heart finds its contentment....
Sometimes even as I lay my eyes on you I am left with an unfulfilled yearning...]

Kabhi titli si tum guzro fiza mein rang ko phailaaye...
Kabhi khushboo si tum baslo har ek kone ko mehkaaye...

[Sometimes like a butterfly you flutter and spread colors in the air...
Sometimes like fragrance spread you stay in all corners...]

Kabhi dil ke kisi kone mein yaadon ki lo angdaayi....
Kabhi zehno vehem mein hi khayaalon ki shakal aayi...

[Sometimes in a corner of my heart you remain comfortably like a memory...
Sometimes in the mind you appear like a thought crossed...]

Kabhi main sochta *** tum haqeeqat mein ** bhi ya nahi....
Magar “Ain” e fikar se dekhun main tum hi *** main to nahi...

[Sometimes I wonder if you exist in reality...
But when I ponder over it I find that in me there’s just you I don’t even exist....]