It hurts the most when you try to speak
And they don’t want to hear you
They focus too much on the words you say
And don’t even really listen
There’s no compassion
A hostile reaction
A personal attack on their ego
It’s hard to speak authentically
When words are met with anger

Neuroticism at an all-time high
Stuck here dreaming about days gone by
I wallow and wonder what if I’m all wrong?
Seeing you is like hearing my favourite song
I once spoke to you through the universe
Sang my heart out, screaming every verse
Not that I can sing, but I hoped you’d hear
My soul aching to finally have you here
It took so much grieving and heartbreak
Cutting you off was my biggest mistake
I’m tired of running, trying to hide
I cannot deny what I feel inside
I could be all wrong, but it feels so right
For weeks I’ve been staying up all night
I’m drowning in regret, for leaving you
At this point, I’m not sure what to do
Careful words, trying to be cautious
Breaking hearts just makes me nauseous
I’ve never loved the way I do
Whenever I am with you

It was all fake love and despair.
Self loathing and lies shared between one another.
Nothing worth holding on to.
Physically they were there.
Just not for you, it would never be forever.
They didn’t even care about you.

They would have settled for another.
But you were easy prey, a simple tool.
They held on to you tightly.
Their intentions were never pure.
What they did was made you a fool.
They led you on with what might be.

They wanted drugs not your company.

Everyday I want to die,
but here I am staying alive...
And why?
Why not just die?
Give up on everything I know?
Forget about all the things I have to show?

All for one selfish wish I have,
to end my life,
to erase my past?
I'm not alive 'cause I want to be alive,
I keep breathing because you keep me here.

Just because I love you,
because you love me,
You make me love me.
But you don't want me.

I'm just trying to figure this life out, not sure what I'm hiding from, just know I'm scared to show my heart sometimes.. I lay in bed staring at the walls, constantly daydreaming, I don't know what to believe in, life has no meaning. I didn't want to fall this far, even though I keep climbing my hands are getting weak from all the stress. I don't know how long I've got left, barely holding on, but his smile keeps my lonely heart beating, th-thud, th-thud, th-thud, like a beating drum. I look over into his hazel eyes and my worry just dies, I take another deep breath and exhale slow. Something in this moment showing me the way I need to go, I can't lose hope.

If you're a good writer
I've probably already fallen
in love with your words
if you make good music
you most likely own
a part of my soul
undoubtedly
if when you message me
you use proper grammer
punctuation
and complete sentences
there's no denying
I take you seriously
something in the way you word things
the way that each consonant sings
as I breathe in the simple things
you say to me

I wrote you a letter
But I haven't let you know
It's hard for me sometimes
To let my feelings show

Instead I break down
And cry myself to sleep
I want to let you know
My heart is yours to keep

It's like she's ADDICTED to the PAIN,
He fronts like he's SO GREAT
Then suddenly,
She's being EMOTIONALLY DRAINED...
That CLOWN is so FAKE
He shouldn't be,
Stealing all her LOVE in the RAIN
Projecting his ANGER and HATE
Indifferently...

I'd hold your hand...
But your palms are sweaty
I'd kiss you...
But your breath is rancid
I'd wrap my arms around you...
But you smell like trash
I love you...
But don't touch me...
Ew.