this year i have known loss
like an unpredicted storm.
i lost my mind,
long before i ever admitted i did,
to the tempest raging inside,
kicking up everything in her path.
i tried to stay where the sun is
but I've been sobbing for a wink of sleep
at 3am.
i fill the restlessness
with twisted allegories about a future
in which my mind isn't in smithereens.
i line my eyes brightly to distract you
from the madness and sadness
wildly coursing behind them.
and you believed me when i told you i was okay.

i pray for sleep tonight
and if i do sleep,
i pray i wake up the same person.
i know you're tired of the different sides
and i'm too tired to pretend i care

summers in the air
(and all my bad intentions too)
i skipped playing 21 questions
'cause i had so much to hide.
still not sure how to cover the scars.
quite evidently, everyone wants to believe
everything but the truth