Your scent still lingers on its fabric
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have it
Memories form a lump in my throat
My heart starts racing like an eighth note
Makes my insides float
as I reach for a life boat
to pull me to shore, to reality
To let me know your gone
Wish I had something to lean on
But all I have is this sweatshirt
that fits me like a full skirt
but I don’t mind
it helps me rewind
and remember that you died for me
for mom, for dad, and for your country
This sweatshirt helps me cope
it gives me hope
That you are in a better place
somewhere in outer space
It makes me feel close to you
it helps me work through
the loss and sadness
the shame and madness
and I know I’ll see you soon
so have a good afternoon
and I’ll keep your sweatshirt with me
so you can reach me wherever I’ll be

Somewhere in there
is a ghost of you I once loved.
A ghost whose wisps are still floating around somewhere inside me.
You aren’t that girl I loved anymore,
that girl had a cuter laugh.
Those who still bring up your name around me talk about a girl
whose name was a string of letters that had flesh and heart
and one hell of a smile.
But
Now it’s just ink and curls, dots and swirls.
You aren’t her anymore, which is a good thing,
because if you were, that wisp that still sits on the back porch of my heart
would grab enough strength to leak into my brain and slip by any rational thought
that’d tell me not to call you. Not that I still have your number,
But that wisp would scoop through memories until it found it
and force it into waking thought.
I’d call you,
and that wisp would turn into a thick smog,
billowing clouds and bulbous puffs
Sitting on every nerve
and gaining density until it settled thick,
so every view and breathy word
would remind me of you.
It’d become a lovely fume,
Stitching together old cracks in my heart you made,
and convince me you didn’t.
I would not feel stupid about losing my breath
when I’d hear your voice on the other end,
and I would not give a **** that I’d be ruining years of seperation
because I remembered a wisp sits  on the back porch of my heart
that reminded me of the girl I used to love.