I am a creature of motion, fueled by the restless yearning for growth and discovery.
To succumb to comfort is to surrender to a slumbering state, where dreams wither and ambition fades into the background.
The fear of becoming ensnared in the web of laziness propels me forward, a flame flickering in the face of the encroaching darkness.

I choose the path less traveled, the rocky terrain that challenges my spirit and tests my resolve.
Uncomfortable, uncertain, yet alive with the spark of possibility.
In discomfort, I find the fuel to stoke the fires of my passion, to push beyond the boundaries of what is known and comfortable.
For in the discomfort lies the crucible of transformation, the forge where strength is tempered and resilience forged.

In my heart,
There is an echo,
A silent ache,
A yearning that whispers in the shadows of my soul.
Every breath I take and every step I make resonates with the absence of your presence
—A void that leaves me feeling incomplete.
I live as though I have missing limbs due to my actions-
Because part of me is missing now that you’re gone.

I am reaching out
—In the darkness—
For a touch that lingers only in memory.
I find myself lost in reverie,
Adrift in the fragments of memories that linger like wisps of smoke in the air.

The echo of your laughter dances through my mind.
It's a melody that tugs at the strings of my heart;
Like the delicate strumming of a harp.
Cupid himself could not recreate such a sound,
For it was born from the depths of our intertwined souls,
A symphonic resonance that echoed through the very fabric of our being.

And no voice could ever express the way you loved me,
For your love was a language spoken in the silent moments,
In the way your eyes held mine and understood the unspoken words that lingered between us.

My soul is uncomfortable with the way you are no longer with me,
accompanied by the void that stretches between us like an unbridgeable chasm.
The weight of your absence is a haunting emptiness that lingers in the spaces you used to fill.
The silence is a deafening reminder of the echoes of our love,
Now shattered into fragments of my regret and longing.

I carry the burden of knowing that it was my actions that led to our downfall,
My mistakes that tore us apart.

And now I trace the lines of my palms,
Seeking solace in the familiar touch that once intertwined with mine.

I know that nothing I do or say can mend the broken pieces of our love
-And nothing can resurrect the passion that once burned between us.

The echo of our lost connection reverberates through my being,
A lament for the love that was lost to the winds of time.

(And I know you never will,
But)
If you were to pose the question about my well-being,
I would say:
“I carry on.”
But the thing is,
I navigate the world with an arrhythmic heart,
-that somehow beats to the rhythm of your name-
Embracing the bittersweet melody of our once-shared experiences.

Each breath I take is tinged with the ghost of your scent,
A haunting presence that lingers in the spaces between us.

Now I bite the skin off my lips,
Just as you did-
And I simply can't help but believe that it's a silent tribute to the love that still resonates in the chambers of my soul,
A testament to a bond that time and distance cannot erase.

Yet,
I cannot utter the words "I'm sorry".
It lingers on the edge of my tongue,
Like a fragile whisper carried away by the wind,
Remaining unspoken.

And even if I were to utter the words I wish to say to you,
They would dissolve into the void between us,
Unheard and unnoticed.

It's not that you refrain from listening,
You are unaware of what I long to express to you because the words lingering in the silence will never escape my lips.
I will forever hold them captive.


My apologies,
emotions,
And the secretive feelings I retain,
have been shouted at you in a silent uproar within my mind.
A war of regret and deep yearning rages within me,
Reverberating through the very depths of my soul like a chorus of thunderclaps,
Each echo amplifies the pain of what could have been.

And I’m not gonna say that I love you.
I only whisper those secrets to the wind,
Sharing the tender truth that resonates deeply within the vast corridors of my being.

For in the sanctuary of my hidden emotions,
The essence of my vulnerability for you remains veiled from the world.
My feelings are a sacred treasure, Reserved only for the depths of my existence.

I know that if I admit it to anyone,
I will be shunned.
Everyone here knows what I’ve done.
That is why I write only to myself and strangers on a browser website.
Because I know this will not be repeated.
Because I know that my secret is safer with a stranger.
Because I can no longer love you out loud.
Because I’m not supposed to feel this way.

As I follow the footsteps of a heavenly melody, guided by the gentle hand of God, I navigate through valleys of uncertainty and peaks of faith. I find solace in His presence, as His light illuminates my path with love and grace.
Like a river flowing towards the vast ocean, my heart resonates with the rhythm of the universe, surrendering to the wisdom of the Creator's plan.
In each moment of surrender, I discover the beauty of trust and the peace that comes from walking hand in hand with God.

And as I stand before him, I am unafraid to confess my wrongdoings, for I know His mercy is boundless and His forgiveness is infinite.
Like David, I make my plea with a contrite heart, seeking redemption and renewal in the presence of the Almighty.
With each confession, I release the burdens of my sins, allowing his grace to cleanse my spirit and restore my faith.
Through deep humility, I find strength in vulnerability; by acknowledging my transgressions, I open myself to the miraculous power of an undying love.

Staying sober from self-harm is an important choice. It helps you take care of your physical and emotional health. When you decide not to self-harm, you show that you value yourself and are ready to find healthier ways to cope with difficult feelings and situations.

Staying away from self-harm also lets you seek help from loved ones, mental health professionals, or support groups. They can guide you towards better coping strategies and support your long-term healing. Remember, you deserve love, care, and support. Choosing to stay sober from self-harm is a strong way to confirm your worth and resilience.

Another key reason to avoid self-harm is to break negative coping habits. By not harming yourself, you choose to find healthier ways to deal with emotional pain. This can lead to personal growth, greater self-awareness, and better coping skills. Breaking free from self-harm allows you to build self-compassion, self-respect, and self-reliance. This empowers you to handle life’s challenges in a healthier and stronger way.

Additionally, staying sober from self-harm gives you a chance for healing, growth, and a hopeful future. Remember, you can overcome self-destructive behaviors and create a life full of self-love, self-care, and positivity.

TW: Self-harm

In my dimly lit room, I sat alone, clutching the cold blade in my trembling hand. The sharp edge glinted in the faint light, a cruel reminder of this storm of emotions and despair. With each passing moment, the weight of hopelessness pressed down on me like a heavy burden, suffocating any flicker of optimism that dared to spark within me. As I stared into the void, the blade whispered to me of my perceived inadequacies, my failures, and my deepest fears, shattering any illusion of self-worth or redemption. In that solitary moment, I found myself consumed by the haunting realization that perhaps, despite my yearning for change, the darkness within me was too deep to ever truly light the way to a brighter tomorrow.
And with each deliberate slice to my skin, a flood of unspoken words erupts like a torrent, flooding the silence with emotions too raw and painful to articulate.
The crimson beads that trace a path down my arms carry the weight of secrets and sorrows I bury deep within, staining my sleeves as a visible testament to my inner turmoil. As I carefully wrap each bandage around my wounds, the gentle pressure serves as a silent plea to break the cycle of self-inflicted pain and reach out for the healing touch of spoken words.
Each bandage becomes a symbol of resilience and a reminder that there is strength in vulnerability, urging me to find my voice amidst the deafening silence that surrounds me.

Everything beautiful is now broken.  
The shards of what we once were- have cut me way too deep.  
I realize I will never have anything the way I once did.  

We were happy..

I wish I could have been different.  
But the thing is, You're too good for me.  

You are as stunning as the first blush of a summer sunset,  
As lovely as the first leaf that falls in autumn.  
Your eyes pierce through my gaze,
leaving me feeling cold and vulnerable.

And I am once more, nothing.. yet again.

A poison tree can make such a gorgeous flower…
but in the end,
that flower is beautifully tainted…
That flower is beautiful and it knows it,
Everyone loves this flower for its looks...
But this flower is growing to be poisonous and bitter inside.
It's unaware of the harm it can do.
That flower will harm without realizing it because that's all it's ever known.
Venom runs in its roots.

That flower kills and paralyzes,
but doesn't know why..
That flower wonders why all these destructive things are happening-
but that flower doesn't know that it was dammed to poison from the start.

Oh, poisonous flower..
You are plucked from your roots because you destroyed without realizing it.
You didn't know you were venous.
Your beauty was all you cared about.

I stopped listening to music.
I figured I needed some time alone with the silence.
And to be honest, it has been speaking to me all along…
I just couldn’t hear it.