I looked in the mirror and when I looked in the mirror, I didn't see nothing wrong with my pretty face,
But when I stepped out my mother's place,
I digged in my book bag to get my iPad out and to
Take a look at myself in my iPad camera,
I looked at myself in the camera, and I ended up seeing what I didn't like, because what I see in the camera is what everyone on my school bus would see and everyone at my school would see. Because I realized I still had mascara on my eyelashes........
My mirror showed me that I didn't have nothing on my face,
Nothing black, brown, but when I looked in the camera, I seen that I still had makeup on and I didn't have no wet tissues with me to wipe my eyes and the rest of my pretty face..

I'm not about to waste my tears,
I'm not afraid to admit that you are one of my fears,
You are just like dears,
Afraid to get too close to me,
But you know you love me,
You are just afraid of me,
Like I said, just like the dears.

I want a guy to make love to me,
A guy to **** on my toes,
A guy who can be close to me,
Mentally, physically, intimately, romantically,
A guy who still makes me nervous,
A guy who still makes my leg get weak,
And make my legs shake,
A guy who's love is like thunder,
I want a guy who I can trust to lose my virginity to

I will someday give you a key to my heart,
I will someday open my heart for YOU,
I will someday give you the key to my life,
I want you to know more about my life-My personal life,
I someday give you the key to my background, I would tell you every detail about me from my past,
I will someday give you a key to my house,
That way, you can just walk in my house whenever you want,
My house will be your house.....

As I open the door and tried to escape,

A voice in my head said "Wait"

So, I walked back in and on the table, sat a white plate.

Am I lucky to be alive,
Am I lucky to have a normal life,
Am I lucky to still be this age,
Am I lucky to have a few friends,
Am I lucky to be at home with my real mom,
Am I lucky I still live with my mom,
Am I lucky or not lucky?
Or don't I appreciate nothing?

I wish I had wings like an angel,
Because angel wings are so soft and fragile.

I loss someone who always had made me laugh, smile, whatever,
I loss a family member to a heart attack,
I’ll never stop loving you and that’s a fact,
You are something i will now lack,

I’m happy you made it all 2017,
All this sad stuff got me thinking god hates me,
God took you too early,
I know you’re watching over me,
I love you, My cousin James Adams,
I’ll never stop shedding my tears for you. You are still my buddy, cousin, everything...I’m glad I gave you a hug when I had a chance. I LOVE YOU ❤️

Animal Personalities


Some animals remind me of myself,  
I'm like a kitten, I'm very quiet,
I only talk when I'm hungry,
But kittens run away from things; I don't,
My cousin, Lakeisha, is like a gorilla or a grizzly bear,
Because she's loud, she stack for food,
She protects her babies, and make sure no one come near them,
Like me, I protect my own too, but my family.
I used to chase a guy. . . Not actually chase him, but I tried so hard to get him, and I never did, but anyway, he used to run away from me, like a CHICKEN !!!
Everyone has a animal personality, I TOLD you !

I apologize for being too kind,
All my kindest moments I wish I can unwind,
Grateful people in this universe are so hard to find,
However, I’ll keep the nice people in my mind,

I apologize for opening my heart,
Especially for those who have no heart,
It’s ok because they weren’t there for me from the start,
Rude people from me, will have to depart,
Of me, they ruin every peace of my art,

I apologize for trying to rekindle things with people who just don’t care about me,
In every situation, I always thought, there could be a “we”

I apologize for stressing over whether people like me or not,
That’s why I don’t have a circle of friends, I just have a dot,

I apologize for not believing my instincts.....

April is my the month of my grandmother's birthday,
April is the month of the stupidity called Prom,
April is the month when we do things at school that are dumb...

A raindrop rolled down the window,
As of if had been raining,
But the sun was out and shining so bright,
I looked at the raindrop and thought, "Dang it must be about to rain."

I made a stupid mistake by getting in that car,
And making the wrong decision,
But I didn't get in that car by choice,
I got in there by force,
And I wasn't happy and I didn't have joy

I woke up this morning and I felt a pain in my upper back,
And it wasn't a good pain,
It was a pain that couldn't be relieved,
It was a pain that couldn't heal,
A pain that stunned out of nowhere,
My back still hurts right this minute,
But when I don't move and stay still,
There is no pain, and my back doesn't hurt at all. . . .

Back then I laughed at your stupid jokes,
Back then, for you, I gave up ALL my hopes,
It too me a while to realize, you're no better than me,
You're poor and broke, and to me, you're a real ****** joke,
I never listened to my young folks, and I never listened to my old folks,
They ALL said you're full of jokes......But as usual, I never listened.

"Look at that star""Do you see how beautiful it is?", "Thats How beautiful You are"

Nobody never sang happy birthday to me,
Nobody never threw a surprise party for me,
Nobody never wished me a happy birthday,
Nobody in my family know when my birthday is,
The only ones that do, are the ones that are close to me,
And those people are my mother, my brothers,
SOME of my family members.

People wonder why my life is so boring,
I tell them it's boring because people don't never want
to take me nowhere,
It's like I'm contagious,
No one likes me happy,
People have great times without me,
I sit down in the same spot everyday,
Wondering if someone is coming to take me to have a great time,
I always think that people are thinking of me, but they're not,
They're hoping I get thrown into a ditch,
My life is so boring because I don't have any friends to take me out,
I don't have a boyfriend to talk to when I'm bored, I have no friends who don't have fun,
My friends are exposed to good times and I'm just a wimp about everything,
I didn't ask for a boring life, it asked for me, and it got me,
Everywhere I go, is in my house. . .

I want to bow at your feet when you enter the room and carry you to your destination on my back, and massages and kisses await you.

I was broken and abused,
Treated wrongfully and used,
And it was not funny..I was not amused....

I rubbed the ice on my arm,
The ice melted slowly on my arm,
Making me shake, uncontrollably

You were only there some parts of my life,
I wanted you to be there in my saddened young life,
I was always happy, when to my home, you arrived..

When I first see you, I was so LOST,
When I first seen you, MY MOUTH WAS WIDE OPEN,
When I first seen you, I saw that YOU COULD NOT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF ME,
When I first seen you, I thought you looked just like the guy I used to like,
I was SHOCKED when my cousin said you said I was FINE, I asked my cousin what your name was and she said Derrick.

I wanted to die a long time ago,
And I kinda want to die now,
My life is in the palms of my hands,
But I just want to vanish, quick,
People in my life try to destroy me with their words,
And it works,
People don't care how I feel. . .

I don't want to give my hopes up,
I don't want to be cheated on or dumped,
I just want to be loved and to feel loved,
And I just want to spoil a guy with my heart and love,
When I seen him, I didn't feel so dumb,
I felt like this could maybe be the guy of my dreams,
The guy that really deserves my love,
I asked myself, "How many guys thought I was cute or fine?"
None.
I will keep trying to get in contact with my first boo, because I haven't even heard his voice yet...
I want to hear his voice.

I shed hair everyday,
Bumps popped up on my body,
Everyday,
I stretch my itch everyday

I wish I could live someone's else's life for just one day,
I guess would like a little fun in my life for just one day,
My own life is complicated, boring, and too much to explain,
I'm more of a settled down and calm person other than being a wild person...

its Friday the 13th and I’m so excited,

excited because I love Friday the 13th and I guess I love being frightened,

last Friday the 13th, I watched the movie Friday the 13th,

this Friday the 13th, I might do the same or I might go watching walking away from home,

i want to feel scared,

I want to run away from someone,

someone scary

Next week, you're gonna be gone,
I promise you, I will try to find you,
I can't believe you're leaving me,
But I know you're doing it so you will have a future,
You're graduating and I can't accept that,
You're probably gonna be making millions,
I am happy for you,
But you still know what I am feeling for you,
And what I feel about you,
Because once you leave school, and graduate,
I will regret not letting you know I love you so deeply,
I just know that. . . Do you love me ?
Because I don't know what you feel about me,
I don't know why you stopped talking to me,
Is it because I liked you so much that I could have killed you
So no other girl or woman could have you and break your heart,
Because I never will,
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken,
Because you broke mine when you told me you didn't love me...

Guys are delusional,
Guys are confused,
Guys are confusing,
Guys lead girls on,
Guys aren't loyal,
Guys are shy,
Guys are confident,
Guys are pathetic,
Guys are needy,
Guys don't love one girl,
Guys destroy girls,
Guys don't know what they want

He is the most hardest to talk to
He loves to eat all of his food
He only has friends that are cool
He loves playing basketball
He hate the idea of Fall
He exercise a lot
Never seen him fought
He is always quiet when he has nothing to say
One time, I thought he was gay
He gets depressed when there is no one to play
He is the reason why I smile all day
He is a tough cookie
Well, at least he's not a rookie
it's hard for him to just let anyone in
He is better off with just one friend

He is the most hardest to talk to
He loves to eat all of his food
He only have friends who are cool
He loves playing basketball
He hate the idea of Fall
He exercise a lot
Never seen him fought
He is always quiet when he has nothing to say
One time, I thought he was gay
He gets depressed when there is no one to play
He is the reason why I smile all day
He is a tough cookie
Well, at least he's not a rookie
it's hard for him to just let anyone in
He is better off with just one friend

A couple of days ago, a guy I like kept walking back and forth in front of me,
I saw him looking at me but only a second, I always catch him looking at me as if he's trying to figure me out,
I think he hears me when I say "look at that chocolate", "he's so fine", "he's so ****", "that's the guy I like","there he go"
I feel like he knows I like him...
But will he ever like me?

He keeps hiding in the shade of the trees,

He keeps blowing away my beautiful leaves,

He is the reason why my heart bleeds and screams,

He has two personalities; one is like the birds and the other is like bees,

I want and need him to please keep appearing in my dreams,

He's the reason I sleeps and breathes.

But why does he keeps hiding??

I am not gorgeous,
That's too much of a word,
I am not beautiful, that's word is not strong enough for me,
A lot of people from my past called me ugly,
They told me because I will never be loved by a guy,
Because I look and sound like a guy,
None of the good words are for me, many say and I just believe them, but none of the good words describe me, only the mean and cruel ones, every who despise me says,
I feel the way they make me feel,
They call me all the mean words in the world and make me feel that way,
Never had I felt cherished and loved because I'm not loved. .

New friend, I ask that you be yourself around me,
I ask that you be open and free,
I want there to always be a we and not just me,
I ask that you be yourself, nice and not like other people in my life, so ruthless and mean...

I know I might be better off without you, but I can't stop thinking about you and your laugh, your skin and your smile. You're probably too good for me but I would hate to see you with another girl

I dream about your cheek dimples,
I think about  how my love is so simple,
I fantasize about you laying your head down on my stomach,
I dream about you loving me to my bones, to death, to eternity, from the bottom of your heart,
I think about the times I had you so triggered,
I swear my love for you has gotten a little bigger,
I dream about you, trying to wake me up by kissing me on my neck,
I thought love was only a painful kick,
I miss it when you used to smile at me,
I wish I had the guts to tell you that you can't leave me here,
I want to be hugged deep into your strong arms,
If I ever kiss you, I would **** your lips right off your face,
Just know that no girl can EVER take my place,
Because you are what I crave,
If you don't love me how I love you,
I will spit on your grave,
I can't force you to love me,
I can't force anyone to love me,
But any guy or man, would be so happy and grateful to love a sweet, ******* loving girl like me,
Without you, I fell imprisoned, locked up in a closet, that's so dark, you can't see your hands,
It feels like everything I did for you, you've taken for granted, you've always taken for granted, even me,
I fantasize about you, I think about you, I dream about you, daydream about you, wish for you,
But have you ever wished for me?
It's so hard to just forget about you and how your smile and your face used to always light up when you seen me,
But now, you don't smile at me anymore, you smile at your guys friends and you girl-friends, but they don't need to be smiled at like that,
I would **** for you,
You make me seem crazy because you're the one that made me crazy,
Just know that I love you to the bottom of my feet,
I love you from all the way to Heaven and back, but, like I said before, you take me for granted...

If I could climb the tallest tree, I would only for you,
If I could dive in the ocean with drowning or losing my life, I would do it for you,
If I could fly up really high like a bird, I would just do it for you,
If I could visit God in Heaven, then I would, but just for you,
If I could cry and scream like a baby, I would only cry for you,
If I could bark and howl like a dog, I would bark and howl only for you,
If I could do anything for YOU, and only you, I promise you, I WOULD !!!

I had a dream to become a Doctor,
Because I was bought a doll that came with
tools a Doctor would use,
I knew what I was doing, I wasn't never confused,
I watched shows when a Doctor would do CPR on a person,
And saving people's lives...I always wanted to save people's lives but who's gonna save my life ?? I changed my mind of becoming a Doctor, because I wouldn't know what to do... But I still love watching surgical videos on YouTube.... but now, I want to be a hairstylist....a therapist....and other

I like him but... I'm probably the last person that comes to mind,
He's so gorgeous and handsome and hella fine,
Maybe one day...we could be one, he could be mine,
He has such deep eyes, you can just swim in and drown in,
I really do wonder if he has a girlfriend,
Because if he does, I'm still gonna look,
I feel like he's a mystery, and he's not easy to read like a book,
I can tell what kind of guy he is by his walk, his swag, and how he looks,

I love you more than the blood that's running through my veins,

i love you more than the air I breath in,

i love you more than the times my heart beats,

i love you more than the ground I walk on,

i love you more than happiness,

i love you more than I, myself,

im glad you stood up for me,

and didn't give up on me,

and that's why I love you.

I LOVE you more than anything.....Mom

I love you more than the blood that's running through my veins,

i love you more than the air I breath in,

i love you more than the times my heart beats,

i love you more than the ground I walk on,

i love you more than happiness,

i love you more than I, myself,

im glad you stood up for me,

and didn't give up on me,

and that's why I love you.

I LOVE you more than anything.....Mom

I love you more than the blood that's running through my veins,

i love you more than the air I breath in,

i love you more than the times my heart beats,

i love you more than the ground I walk on,

i love you more than happiness,

i love you more than I, myself,

im glad you stood up for me,

and didn't give up on me,

and that's why I love you.

I LOVE you more than anything.....Mom

When I imagine looking through you and
seeing the inside of your chest,
I see darkness, your weakness, not your best,
I am feel your pain, and your stress,
I know that not having me for a friend, you feel blessed,
Because I think I am the one person that caused your pain and your stress,
That's why I feel like we can't be friends because I'm just a big mess,
And you are so wrecked,
People tell me everyday that I am the reason for you being a wreck,
That is what I see, what I imagine,
The bad in you, not the good in you,
You are just like spoiled or sour food.

People tell me I look good,
But I don’t feel like I do,
I don’t feel good about myself,
Like I’m supposed to,
Most people say I’m beautiful,
All the time like it’s true,
But there are a few,
Who say otherwise….
Only if you knew

In my future, I hope to be a very smart, educated, and successful woman,
In my future, I hope to be both street smart and book smart,
In my future me, I hope to be an inspiration to every human being,
In my future, I want to be adventurous...