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281 · Jul 2017
Nyx
ASinRzSon Jul 2017
Nyx
I see myself being used an feel my heart peeling off into the lower half of my body, fading into flesh & making me thicker to the lies i hear. I see your problems and i see your pain but your the cause of my worry, my hate and most of all my pain. My love, you cause me to worry that i wont gain your love. Lay with me tonight and **** me tomorrow. Love is just a distant dream far too narrow.
280 · Apr 2019
& Everything But
ASinRzSon Apr 2019
I am magic and everything but
I am pixie dust at the end of a cigarette ****
I am a broken doll fixed and cut up
Save me save me
When i die just know i looked up.
278 · Oct 2017
Bury Em'
ASinRzSon Oct 2017
Finding somewhere to bury my emotions on these Indian burial grounds
..
They've got me chained up to my neck and i asked for a way out and the devil said we should connect
..
Maybe its for the best to just leave out all the rest so when my friends come to drag me to hell Ill have no reason to resist ..
264 · Sep 2017
You Said You'd Save Me
ASinRzSon Sep 2017
If i could sink into myself,
I'd submerge.
Ive not seen a stronger symbol,
Than the aftermath; Scourge.
If we could all stay in love forever,
We would.
Never did i think it'd happen,
It would.
Everytime you let me down,
I stood.
Only cuz i could stand being around my own frown.
227 · Oct 2017
Untitled
ASinRzSon Oct 2017
Once fallen asleep i dread the dreams my subconscious allows to seep. On rusted train tracks I'm running slow and my knees are feeling weak. Night and night i hear the fright, my demons aren't afraid to fight. "Run all you want" they said. "We'll soon have our spotlight. Ignore the message? I did. but was also received loud and clear. I knew what it meant. The intent. No increment. The rage was coming. I could feel it grow as i sat.
Humming.
221 · Apr 2019
Untitled
ASinRzSon Apr 2019
You seem to get angry with what i see
So i don't understand why so angry when it's just what you showed me.. i wanted someone like me but you just turned out to be another who's soon to leave
212 · Jun 2017
Foundations Fade
ASinRzSon Jun 2017
I swear to god
For the grounds i stand,
Dare i say ar'
Powdered with malicious sand.
The floors gone cold
Im sinking in
I think ive sunk
I see our end.
But what is that?
My stance adjusted.
From over mountains,
Dare i say it?
My sense of Justice.
I knew this cold
From years ago
Starting at my heart
The pain, it flows
Into my body? My mind? Thoughts?
Cold as the outer suit of an astronaut.
Our love will always float away
Like the force in space
We see today.
If you hold tight
My hand tonight
We can take off our suits
And float for life.
Pains...subdue. They do not go away. So being numb lets you see a different way.
208 · Jun 2017
Giving Too Much.
ASinRzSon Jun 2017
Sometimes i wonder if i should care
Only cuz my die hard efforts
Are as thin as a single strand ofhair
Your love for me
Comes and goes like
Drifting in the air.
Maybe im not yours
Maybe you need to soar
Maybe we all need to stop & think
About what truly makes our love
Roar.
I say this cuz i'm not sure
Of your intentions
I feel i'm starting to bore.
If so, mi Amor
Ill go and find a Place or Person
To love me oh so much more
Hurt
206 · Jul 2017
Padded Room.
ASinRzSon Jul 2017
Being alone makes you, insane. Though I think most people misunderstand that word. Being alone allows me to explore parts of my mind that I never knew about. The dark, deep and fragile memories i have forced myself to forget are pulled up from the grave once laid in. Unintentionally reliving the days that ate away at my self esteem; the days where i spilled my own blood just to wave the essence of pain from my mind.
Feeling familiar now?
203 · Aug 2017
Revival.
ASinRzSon Aug 2017
If i called you back,
My angel in black
Would you do it again?
My soul is gone
And thats a fact.
I cant climb back
Its way too risky
I might think again
After my shots of *** & whiskey.
Im drowning, I'm drowning
And i cant stop frowning
Life's become a maze
And i keep reminiscing
About those good ol' days
So stay please stay
And help me make this pain.
A stain.
Its deep.
Its dark.
But if you help. maybe
There will come a spark baby
It will leave a mark.
Something's like a crooked arc
201 · Jun 2017
Me
ASinRzSon Jun 2017
Me
Your screams, colorful
Your lies, leave one mark
Though your eyes leak pain
I see u bleed in the dark
You are my weakness  
My greatest strength
Without you
I cease to move forward
But with you i crave to float backwards.
200 · Aug 2017
You Did It.
ASinRzSon Aug 2017
Emotions fade.
My hearts beginning to crack
Reasons being,
I see the ways
you Lack to give back
As if your words were a
Dam to hold me back
From leaving
Your heartless ***.
187 · Sep 2017
I'll Watch Myself.
ASinRzSon Sep 2017
If i kept your voice
And you kept my heart
Ill tell you of my days
When i pressed replay in the dark.

Sitting alone
Feeling alone
My love for you
Is all thats ever shown

When you come looking
Dont be surprised
We never saw eye to eye
So pack your things

So i can say GoodBye
184 · Sep 2017
Catch me with a new You.
ASinRzSon Sep 2017
I see your smile while we glide
Not being together Is suicide
Please oh my, dont turn a blind eye
For the words I have are true
Meant souly & just for you
When you had my heart, it grew
& always came home to you
But when you took that trust
& ****** it up
Somehow I already knew
Your love was gone,
We've both moved on
But neither of you knew I knew.
I bet you thought "oh what a fool"
Well let me take you back to school
I know your ways,
I know your thoughts
What made you think
youd never be caught
You cried, you begged, you whined
But no. Not with meh sweetheart
I leave my trash
behind.
Love You Babe.  Bye
183 · Jul 2017
Life-less
ASinRzSon Jul 2017
I know I'm dead
I wrote you a note
It's all done in red
Ive shed more than enough tears
Mostly in my bed
If i take my life
Just know i bled.
Not from pills
No bullet nor fall
I wanted to watch my blood spill
Something like Niagara Falls.
Angry & Peaceful
Conflicting thoughts
Within my mind.
If you ever got a peak
Inside THIS CORRUPT MIND!
I'd cross my fingers and hope
You'd shoot me blind!
I know you're thinking
Why would i mind? Why Care?
You'd also wonder why i smile
When pouring gasoline in your hair
Maybe chopping you up?
Into neat little squares?
Ill talk you down
Into your own despair
I promise you, don't fight me
You're strength, you cannot EVEN
Compare!
If i gave you a living chance
A multi choice questionnaire
About how much you knew me
Then how u stumbled
Directly into this
Love Affair.
Because you see!
I bled for you
Screamed!
And pulled out my hair!
Nothing to me could stop our love
OR DARE!
It was our destiny
Our SHARE!!
And you ruined this love brewed,
You DARED!
But since you're re out of my life
And i died tonight.
You'll no longer remain.
My Dying Light.
Now i can spread my wings!
Look up!
Take flight!
Ill boom through these skies
Like dynamite
Soaring so fast, escaping light,
Maybe have a dance  
Or take your life.
174 · Sep 2017
You'll See. Like I did
ASinRzSon Sep 2017
I know you have not yet seen this through
But the ones you hold close arent there for you
You think cuz you all wear the same shoe
that when the dime drops theyll be there, catching you.
What a fantasy sweetheart.
Bless you.
Ill go on to do what i shouldve done
Forget you.
Then move my feelings out the way.
Plus you.
173 · Aug 2017
A Retold Timeline.
ASinRzSon Aug 2017
Lets....skip...hop ..  and wiggle all over the school-yard blacktop. Lets wait... up late... and finish our homework in the morning.. with haste. Lets stare.. hold our breath... when we see each other in the cold night air..lets laugh.. cry... hold our tongues... in spite of starting a fight... lets sit... hear the pens click... when we need permission... to end our once eternal commitment...lets reminisce..lets throw fits...until we Perceive.. only our bodies.. could put our love at EASE.
173 · Oct 2017
Busy Bee
ASinRzSon Oct 2017
I know. you'll come back to me
The writings on the wall
The signs, they're blasphemy.
Out of sight, outa mind i said
what to do
When your name,face & eyes
Are stuck in my head
You dont even think of me.
Or reminisce on what I've said.
Sometimes i wish these thoughts werent real, like our love was. That i never had to let go of you. Then never have to tell anyone the story of what ONCE WAS AND THAT OUR LOVE WAS FORMED IN RYTHM & BEATS OF SOMEONE WE BOTH LOVED.zzz
So come back to me, my princess, my bee
Sweet as honey. You'll always Be.
169 · Apr 2019
Untitled
ASinRzSon Apr 2019
This ****'s like a needle in my vein
Easing out
Slowly taking my pain
I don't think ill stay
You're water im flame
What was i thinking
You're changing, ..im the same
You're breaking. & ..im insane
167 · Jun 2017
She Came!!
ASinRzSon Jun 2017
I saw my demon last night
She sung me a song
And kissed me goodnight

She wrote me a poem
And showed me her knife

About her special new dreams
Of lacerating my life
160 · Dec 2018
K.A.S.A.N
ASinRzSon Dec 2018
Kareless, you seem to be.
A nasty habit..,
Soon we'll lay
All cards down
Never will your inconsistency not be found

Its like every first letter is who you wont let,
Drown. Choosing me to bleed on. Paint my face like a clown. This is the last time you let me down.
The girl who said she would focus on me and give me her love followed and resumed talking to her Ex again within 24 hours of telling me this. Her Ex's name is Kasan..
158 · Jun 2017
Holding Back.
ASinRzSon Jun 2017
In ways in which i have none to describe I know you feel the pain it shows through your eyes. Scratching and clawing, your blood vessels pop. Go ahead my son allow your tears to drop. Splash the floor? they may, draw attention? It might. But whom will feel peace by the end of the night.?
150 · Aug 2017
Hidden Armor.
ASinRzSon Aug 2017
I'll give you ruby
The color of lies
That lovers tell themselves
With it brings pain,
The flame in the prisms deepest heart

But i will keep this love
Hidden in my dark shade of blood
Invisible and numb, it exists.

Those who dont seek love, receive it. **** im almost to the point where love can find me havin *** with hate.
I Never Notice What Hurts Me ,Will Inevitably Make My Fate.
ASinRzSon Apr 2019
Bleeding, why is my blood so red?
I wanted to put 2 shots,
Like a bowling ball.. in my head
Only to stop the thought of you
When my skin touches the bed.

Say again, say again
Your voice always read
A whole other story
That ended with ash from my cigarette
Hurry, hurry!
Your lies might catch your ***!

Ill never see your face again.
All thats left, ..MUST be laid to rest.
I cant help but think your name
The tone, it rings
Please, Oh! PLEASE almighty
Help me forget the love
That a pour soul brings.
149 · Jun 2017
Time Flys. Not Us.
ASinRzSon Jun 2017
Look in my soul.
What do you see?
Cuz i know its not the person
Who i used to call "me"
Hes broken and gone
From all the useless people
He constantly fawned upon.
If only he knew
Theres no such thing
To take a broken soul.
Then start anew.
I thought of you..days ago
Wondering where did all OUR
Days go.!
148 · Jul 2017
Who, Are You?
ASinRzSon Jul 2017
I cant take your inconsistence
Your childish conversations
Or your pouty confrontations

What i wanted was a lover
When received. It dawned on me You were just another
Arent Beginnings Always Sweet?
148 · Aug 2017
Days UnMade
ASinRzSon Aug 2017
Write me a song.
So i know you thought of me!
Write me a letter
So when things get rough
Ill know better.
Sing me a song goodnight
So our love will shine bright
But only in the moonlight.
Cant u remind me
You'll always love me?    
You miss me?
Then Find out my day.
Then what made it.
Because you didn't!
147 · Sep 2017
Mind Torch
ASinRzSon Sep 2017
Standing in a crowd of people
Constantly talking
And living their lives
The louder they get,
It drives me insane.
I hear whispers ,screams
An screeches that are inhumane
So i **** them all.
Tired and out of breath i say
"Thats them all"
Except the one in my head
Informing me
I was the one who sang the song
ASinRzSon Aug 2017
We travel this wasteland in search for a better self than what we see in the mirror. Yet what we need to do is search and find someone who makes us wanna be a better person.

For some reason people think OTHER PEOPLE will make them... Better and somehow FIX them. Didnt "other people" make u this way originally? ******* fool, it's like pulling the knife out and stabbing yourself somewhere else to distract yourself from pain... Yah with more pain.
146 · Jul 2017
So. Lets Go Back
ASinRzSon Jul 2017
I think you say what needs to be
Only cuz u know
what your words Mean to me

But after the fact
when things are all a wrap
I see lack in the ways u give back

But just because i use the words
"Give" and "back"
Doesnt mean youre giving back

Sometimes i feel like tracking back
Just to asure
That you and i never begun
To walk down any type of path
140 · Sep 2017
Another Day.
ASinRzSon Sep 2017
When did our love go?
Because i just dont feel welcome
Falling asleep in your arms Anymore.
Did it break? Did it fall?
Because all my needs
Are slipping off like one big
Water Fall
Something i dont think
Either of us ever saw.
Only im sure youre ok
My heart broke your fall.
After shattered remains
Ill Soulfully Say
Please. Keep it all
Ill put myself back together
Another Day.
132 · Dec 2018
You're too Late
ASinRzSon Dec 2018
You don't have space
You don't have me

You don't have any of the things
you thought or THINK you need

Youre not an empath
You need a hot bath

To wash off all the blood
Gathered in the past

Now you're here
And in my ear

I wish I'd hit block & let you pass.
Now im regretting your ungrateful ***.

Treat me like 2nd class and ill treat you like what you are. Broken glass.
128 · Apr 2019
Untitled
ASinRzSon Apr 2019
You made me believe in destiny, in dreams
And that it could be more that what its ever seemed. Luckily my dear my hopes stay down in a hole, far deeper than what you've ever seen. I did see you coming i just... hoped youd gleam.
124 · Apr 2021
Breaking Bread
ASinRzSon Apr 2021
Taking in the death
Is such a peaceful way
To lay yourself to rest
Slowly without family to notice
No more having to "stay below the wrist"
More so how much can i drink
Before i become another risk
I sit up in my dark room
Illusions in the black walls that never end
My illusions are that my life will end
Before i even got to see it begin...
119 · Mar 2021
Digging up my own grave
ASinRzSon Mar 2021
Draining through the divide
I remember upon a time
I just wanted to die
Once i lost so many i found myself,
Everyday a struggle, a WANT to be alive
I know you want someone to share equal eyes
But once you hurt enough
You look forward to goodbyes
Those late nights with dry nd happy eyes
You never thought theyd be your demise
If you'd've known the end date
You never would've swung
Messing around with too much trash
Will have anyone feeling glum
I know they made you smile
Wasnt it so much fun?
If kept down that same path
I wouldve eaten a gun



But thats not me now
The good parts just begun
I wake up excited for the day
Those sat inside are thoroughly thrown away
Once a mad hatter, now a star in LA.
Ill settle for the moon in the sky
For the only girl to draw my eye.
Since i was born
We've been side by side
Not once you've ever made me cry
Hold you close; loved youll always feel
Old stained love letters
Written by Quill
"If you stay with me forever
Love you i always will."
- You Never Need Anyone
113 · Apr 2019
Find a way out your heart
ASinRzSon Apr 2019
Your lies.
Your eyes.
Your face & that **** lil waist.
Your words.
Your hurt.
Your reasons for why it wouldnt work.
Your soul.
YOU'RE, unwhole.
You're the reason
Why i wont ever let myself fold
You taught me lessons
You taught me pain
You taught me than when everything's gone
Theres still s'more to gain
When the lights are out
Nd' darkness shrouds
Ill find my way
Like a maze.
In & Out.
She's gone
107 · Feb 2020
Box of Pain.
ASinRzSon Feb 2020
I can't not feel sad
It puts me in a box
My box of sad
None of you care
All u can say is life ain't so bad
Chin up bucko
It won't last
U belittle my pain
U ignore my roses
When my petals are beaten and brown
I know when i goto seek your love
I wont hear a sound
For the lust is gone
Like sand on the beach, so many of thee
I can tell your emotions are fading
Based off the last few weeks..
How do i end this love
So lovely in my eyes
It procured so rapid
I think both of us were just going rabid
Sometimes i couldnt stand it.

If your love is real
And keeping my heart is still the deal
Show me that your ribs mean more to you
Than just a cage of steel
Guarding your heart
It beats, SO REAL
Fade from my eyes, like the sun
Before our last meal
Lay down lay down
But please, be quick to forget me
For i am in no just memory to you
Seems as of lately i just cater to you
How am i supposed to walk straight
When all you do is add more weight
I wish to run fast,
to break all your chains
I wish to end fast, to leave all the pain.
104 · Oct 2020
You Lost Me This Time.
ASinRzSon Oct 2020
I think im losing my mind

My brain hurts behind my eye

At the end of each day talking to you

I ask myself why?

Try & try just to die

Falling behind in life

The feeling of knives

Too deep in my back

My last vision; the sky

Why oh why

Must the bad keep on

When those who fight

Struggle to dream calm

When my soul darkens

Ill look at you

Damning you to see life in MY shoes

Maybe youll see yourself, the world? Its heart?

If id known you were the devil

I'd've walked away from the start

Nasty taste in my mouth

Your name. So ****

WHO THE **** SAID YOU COULD HAVE ME

Or let alone,  my thoughts

I gave you everything

What's left? The dark?

It's the room you left me in

When you stood and took haste

Ashamed of yourself & me of my face

One look at it and all i see are mistakes

Hurt in my eyes. And my back? A stake

Memories of you, a year ago on this date

I'm holding back tears

Cuz i fear you ****** up fate

I held on so tight

And you? Late

Sitting up after hours thinking of those days

That turned into weeks that added to months

...i remember what it felt like

To hold your hand, Once.

Soil me soil my...

I wish you'd only apologize

For turning all blind eyes.
98 · Mar 2021
Untitled
ASinRzSon Mar 2021
**** why
**** where
This hole in my chest
Might just get the best
Don't lie
Don't swear
Put all my friends to sleep
Go rest
Come quiet,
Not scared
55 · Jul 2017
Untitled
ASinRzSon Jul 2017
I run and hide
No longer clinging
To my pride

Away from public
And judgmental eyes

The world is cold
The humans are harsh

So off i go
I'll start with a march

But not to fight
I have little might

For the day i was born
A sinner was born.

So many problems i had to face.
Death,loss, and Loneliness
Ive learn to face my fears
And hold back the tears

Fore that i am upon myself
I count on myself

Life (or lies)can not hurt me
The world can not see me.

I hide from the light
And try not to embrace it
Do You Ever Notice How My Words Stick?

— The End —