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Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
Don't say a word, not a ******* word
No need to waste your breath
My eyes are blind, my mind made up
My ears are deaf, my mouth sewn shut

I love the pain, the exquisite pain
I am suffering in ecstasy
I choke myself in my sleep
Sleeping disorder or apathy?

I smother myself to hear me breathe
Spread my wings that only bleed
Now that we are ******* through
Do I want to be like you?

**** No! I hope you choke
My back is ******, my wings are broke

Light a match and set me ablaze
My ashes scatter with the breeze
I'm an anti – social butterfly
And I'm spreading my disease

You inhale me with every breath you breathe
I am the antithesis of all and everything you believe
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
Rain precipitates my mind to sleep
Awakens slowly with dreams that creep
Into my head, the pain runs deep
And in the end, we all must weep

Rapid eye motion neither phasic nor tonic
Pumping blood flows but levels are toxic
Fear grips the anger, but my anger just mocks it
Anger breaks through from my fist that unlocks it

The answer was simple, shades of my reflection
I crept through the house, no signs of detection
Make my way to your room for closer inspection
The anticipation mounts, feeding my *******

Is this what you want? Don't struggle; don't scream
Or out comes your blood in a nice, steady stream
I'll lick the knife slowly, while inside you I'll cream
Just be glad in the morning that this was a dream.
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
If you screamed it into the sky
I would make it rain
If you pounded it into the ground
I would end all of your pain

If you bled it out of spite
I would try to fill your soul
If you sent it all away
I would give you what I owe

Instead, I sit head hung low, here alone
Wondering why I ever let you go
You are the best part of this withered heart
It breaks in two as me and you part

Your half still in my hand, this was never planned
My half crumbles while I try to understand
My own thoughts betray, on this, the saddest day
It’s the anniversary of when you went away

I’d give up this life and start anew
If you only realized how much I needed you
I died a little inside that day when you said goodbye
I threw it all away, to save face, and even now I defy

All the thoughts that are flowing through my mind
If I could find a way to rewind time, I’d be more kind
I would tell you all the things that a woman ought to hear
But I bit my tongue, and filled my lungs, and made you disappear

I exhale a cloud of smoke, and your image floats away
I take another shot of sorrow, tomorrow is just another day
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
Who am I?
Well, who are you?  
I don't know me.
Are you me too?

I don't know.
Can I sit?
You mean you're tired?
I don't know ****.

That's really sad.
Yeah, can I go?
Where will you stay?
I still don't know.

You know I have an extra bed.
Did you think the thought that I just said?
I guess it was not for me to say.
You mean you won't just go away?

You see kind sir, you can't escape me.
Are you the one I see in my dreams?
It's fall and all the leaves are gray.
It's your time to die. You mean today?

Ask yourself that again when you wake.
I'm asleep right now? For heaven's sake.
I have another question I must ask.
You know the dream with the mirror and mask.

When I take it off and look at me.
I'm not the one that I see.
What does this mean? Can you help me?
That depends on what it is you see?

In the mirror, I see another man instead.
He controls the voice inside my head.
You only let people see what you want them to see.
The real you is still trapped underneath.

That does make sense now that I think about it.
Am I waking up? Oh god. Oh ****.
"But what about the mask?", I almost scream.
You should ask yourself. It is your dream.

After he said that he walked away.
And I woke up to greet the day.
The dream still fresh, but loosing steam.
What can all of this mean?

Do I not know who I am?
Or do I know myself so well I live inside my head?
I just don't know what reality is.
**** it. I'd rather be dreaming instead.
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
Something so right, it has to be wrong
Cliché after cliché all the night long
You’ve heard it before, but yet I press on
With lame come on after lame come on

I’m the man who wasn’t held enough as a child
It’s just in my nature to be sexist and vile
My ****** fortitude is bigger than yours
I’m banging ******* and scoring with ******

I will walk by a broad and grab her behind
I will beat up the weak and feeble of mind
If you dare me to do something I cannot say no
The rush of adrenaline will make my **** grow

I’ll show all of you losers who has the biggest *****
My golden phallus will break through your walls
It will penetrate to the depths of your cave
I might even, if time permits, a life save

I’m a macho man, you know me well
And if you don’t know me allow me to tell
You a story about who I think I am
I’m not just another Cro-Magnon man

I’m the alpha male, the leader of my pack
I’m the ****, you see, and you’re all whack
But here are a few secrets I keep just for me
If you sleep with me, you might catch an STD

But really it’s your own fault for not knowing
Where my **** has been, before you start blowing
This next little thing I’ve been trying so hard to conceal
I lack originality or a purpose; I’m just trying to be real

If I don’t go hard and do what is expected of me
They might find I’m turning quite green with ***** envy
You see, I’m not the man that I like you to believe
Like that ***** *** hair you say isn’t a weave

Oops , there I go again trippin’ on you
No *** for so long, my ***** are now blue
I have just one more thing to add before I say goodbye
If you’re ever with a man like me, ask yourself, “why?”
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
The black cloud sits beside me
Facing the fact that you are me
I am you and we make three
Devil may cry; I may bleed

The black cloud moves closer to
You and I, while I am you
You cannot see my devil's face
Wholly unholy, this human race

The black cloud hovers over head
Masking the fact that we are dead
Devils and angels wage their war
Not quite ready for what's in store

The black cloud now covers my brain
Invoking the voice of the insane
War has torn us apart again
Led us to places deep within

The black cloud consumes my soul
Wholly unholy, has now become whole
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
I don't need you to tell me how I hurt you
I don't need you to tell me what I put you through
I don't need you to tell me; I felt it too
My guilt says enough

I don't need you to tell me about all of your pain
I don't need you to tell me about your mental strain
I don't need you to tell me how you cried like rain
My guilt says enough

I don't need you tell me how you ached inside
I don't need you to tell me all the feelings you'd hide
I don't need you to tell me how I should have tried
My guilt says enough

I don't need you to tell me how I ruined your life
I don't need you to tell me how I caused you strife
I don't need you to tell me you can't ever be my wife
My guilt says enough

I should have listened to you before you said goodbye
I should have told you the truth and not told you lies
I should have realized how good I had it when I looked in your eyes
Now, my guilt is all I have left…
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