I black out several times a day thinking about all I want to say.

I'm sorry that it's true, but keeping to myself is easier than keeping myself honest with you.

I cannot hate you as much as I hate myself for loving you

I'm mad at you
And it feels good
To tell the truth

I ride the line of time in circles around my mind, never finding any more than what I'm leaving behind

The voice says yes, you can do as you please, so long as what I think you should do agrees.

There is no light behind the clouds, only declining rays containing the memory of a light we can never keep.

If I could just let go of everything, I would be comfortable, here in my hole.

I hate who I am and can't stand what I've been, but not a single one of us can live without sin

I should really stop digging this hole, right?
I mean, what do I have to gain by going any deeper?
And I've been at it long enough I'd say, because I see nearly three irreplaceable years that so quickly slipped away

I do not
Like being ignored or forgotten
I do not
Like being alone or bored
I do not
Like being

The words only sound good in my head
When i see them on paper i think my brains gone dead
Nothing seems coherent and every syllable is arbitrarily placed
No rhyme or reason except for what ive come to expect from the one whose lost his skill with the pen
Im at the end of my rope and i cant use my words to cope because everything i say makes me feel like im just a dope headed loser whos got nothing but a single string around his throat holding him back from choosing to become a ghost

When these arms have nobody to hold, part of me wants to stop growing old

I'm in one of those moods again
  where everything makes me think of when
      you and me used to be the best of friends,
and id give anything to make this reminiscing end.

I could pick up my pen,
   write poems for the best days that we spent,
      or all the awful things that you ever said
         til every last and forever lost hen,
ready to be slaughtered, comes home to their shed.

Yet when that sun rises red
   into the single pair of dead,
      empty eyes, lying in my bed,
         I'll remember that I have nothing left,
            except for the silver stained in dread,
and memories of you, swimming in my head.

All I can do to make this end,
   is try my hardest to pretend
      that I could go my whole life and
         live without feeling the regret
of never loving you again.

It wouldn't matter if I didn't write, these words would still go unread by the people whose actions put them in my head

I can't walk alone with you if you're gonna wear your clothes beautifully like that, and if you don't mess up your hair real quick I think I'm gonna snap. I can't look at you if you're gonna strut with all you got, and don't you flash your eyes at me or I'll have to gouge them out

Sometimes this love develops a bitter taste, and it becomes a pretty tough pill to swallow, but I'm here looking to overdose and reach a higher place, so I'll open my mouth and choke down the whole ******* bottle

Remember all the weeks that we'd spend holed up in my house
Just a couple of thieves hiding out from the cops
We had a couple of things and I thought that I had you and I thought that you had me
But then you blamed me for taking the same things from you that I caught you taking from me
I was only picking up all the feelings you left lying on the ground
I tried to hide it but I could tell you knew even though I never made a single sound
Red handed, I tried to touch your face
But you just pushed me out the way and left me believing I was to blame
Because you knew the time had come and just outside the police were surrounding the place

You got away
I told them I made you do it
I could never rat you out
Even though you left me standing there while they came in to take us down

Now I'm serving my time, and I tried to write you once or twice even though I dont expect that you'll reply
I've got a few more years in here I think, and It's gonna give me the time that I think I'll need to sort you out of my mind
And I hope you always get away from the police, and I hope you always get whatever help you need, but I pray that when the day comes and I get free, I pray that you will stay away from me

Nothing lasts forever
That's why i won't say never
I keep my heart open
Even though it keeps no hope
And its why i keep my head up
Despite the ugly whether
If you decide you want this
I will be here waiting
If you figure out you love me
I will be here waiting
I want to call you my baby
But im afraid you hate me
Because i dont want to impose
An idea that you dont suppose
Could be truth but we know different
We know its a false existence
You and me can never just be
We need something we know that we won't see
Its because we were raised to believe
In something more than god could deliver to thee

Can you hear it
The motors hum
Working behind
The rising sun
And can you see
The bits of rust
On these machines
Built to move us
A golden age
Progress proclaimed
We can't stop
Til its too late
The suns a slave
To our own needs
We'll work it dry
We'll make it bleed
The lap of luxury
Where we sit
Is built upon
Blood stained brick

I need a gutter to spill my heart into,
But I don't think it can ever be you

I pledge allegiance, to the brands, that fund the disjoined state of america, and to the republic, too scared to stand, one hypocrisy, under god, all invisible, with indignity and with injustice for all

I can't stand society
I can't handle sobriety
And I don't know why
But I can't see
What this world has got for me

Too many people are here today
Too many idiots in my way
I don't know why
I choose to stay
There's got to be another way

I hate having to wait in long lines
I hate hearing about changing times
Everywhere I go
I can't find
A single reason not to lose my mind

Sometimes I wonder where it went, or if you even meant the words you said, because lately I've been thinking about this pain in my chest, and I think now's the time to lay all of this to rest.

Out of your mind
Into the atmosphere
Leave it behind
Let them all disappear
Deep in dark space
Lost amongst dying stars
Escape this place
Shine brighter than quasars

A patient heart will always take the part of the one who's ready but will wait to start, because a single mistake may make it fall apart, so it would rather be left alone with a silent ache in the dark

I've got you in my sights, way high flying through wide open skies
You and I are all alone up here, dancing around dangerously in the stratosphere
Dare I pull this trigger and take you down?
If I do I promise, I'll beat you to the ground

The seams are all falling off
Revealing whats been all along
The nightmares have not been starved
Full and fat
The hunger marches on
Coherent or not
Always with the "I forgot" or "I lost control"
March on soldier, secure the throne, for the masters on the side of the borders that you call home, and who have chosen to use this world for the good of none but their own
March on civillian, no one wants to help you because there is nothing left where you call home and that you own and that you could use to pay us back for what youd owe
Irrational as always
The response of veracious eyes, opaque disguise, and greedy minds
Chaos calls for this and worse
Nothing in this world can save them from it
Except for the vigor to hold those in contempt
And
We may feel like we are the few, but we are the only ones who can

Oh what i used to be
A mess upon the floor
Empty bottles
Empty hearted
Didn't care anymore
About you or anyone at all
Wrapped up in my madness
Giving way to selfishness
Broken fingers
Broken mind
I forgot how to give
And the feeling wasn't missed at all
But somewhere deep inside
There was something that i tried to hide
The truth that i was dying to deny
I wanted to get better but i didn't know how
To ask for help seemed so impossible
Because i was drowning in the alcohol
My lungs were full of beer and i couldn't speak at all
But somehow i found the strength to get to a better place
With a little help from those who i thought had started to hate me
And now that i can look back and see just how awful i was
I just wish to be forgiven for all that i have done

Today when i woke up
I saw a man hanging in the mirror on my wall
He lifted his head up and said to me
Did you ever stop to think about what it means to live a life
He asked if ive ever considered what could make me take me own
Then he motioned to the bed where i was lying and he said
I dont think you have a clue about how cruel our desires can be
Ive spent my life watching as you take from others selfishly
All the while you say your piece about why you think you deserve it
And you create your excuses for why its was ok to hurt them
Im leaving today and im not coming back
So when you finally gain the courage to look for yourself
Youll find the same emptiness that youve always been running from
Youll see nothing but the man in the mirror who cares for no one but himself

I'm so sick of the cycles we run ourselves through.
We apologize and then continue all the awful things we do.
Never able to stop, but we all understand,
We are tasked with building live upon foundations of sand,
unable to hold the weight of this earth's heavy demands.
We'll fight when we have to, and we'll steal what we can.

go ahead, do whatever, just be stupid
going with the flow just isn't worth it
there's no point to live if you don't live by your own purpose
The ideas of others may get you far, but they'll rarely let you be who you really are
Sometimes it gets so hard to see, when all their shadows grow around me
They all stare down at me, eyes filled with pity, hoping i'll be what they've grown to expect

Maybe for a moment I should try to breathe while sitting alone and silent, while I focus on the peace that I've been struggling to find, without you standing by to spit daggers into my sides, every single time I lose control over my mind

Now I know I've lost my mind
I've gone back to what I left behind
Forgot the progress that I procured
Let myself slip into a state unsure

**I let the universe collapse again

So tell me babe, why do you stay
Is there something stopping you from making a change
You go on, getting stuck in your ways
Is there somewhere else you wish you could be today
Now don't fall asleep, and don't follow your dreams
Don't wait up for me, and don't you dare to believe
That there's anything more to this than what you're able to see

So tell me babe, what do you say
Will you seize this chance or let life slip away
I beg you please, don't leave us this way
Is there nothing I could do to convince you to stay
Please just go to sleep, and find peace in your dreams
Just remember me, and don't forget to believe
That there's nothing except for love that will ever set you free

So you've come home from being off at war
Won't you come inside where it's nice and warm
Let me take your coat, oh my you feel cold
It seems you've returned but you're no longer whole
Did the price of your return include a piece of your soul
You're still the one I remember from before you left
But the bones you used to hold me up with now need their own place to rest

We never really did wrong, but we know we never did right, so let's do what what is left, let's give it a try tonight

Ring goes the bell, triggering my mind
Ring goes the bell, moving down the line
Motions exploding, emotions corroding
Mountains crumble, elephants stumble
Breaking down, all the same
Breaking down, push them away
Can't fake it
can't take it
Wasting my time
Waiting in line
Ring goes the bell, every thirty seconds
Ring goes the bell, the voice always beckons

It's time for us to go, wake everybody up
We're gonna touch the sun, together all as one
With pairs of wings that wont succumb to the tremendous heat, we will leave troubled lives behind as we lift off from the ground under our feet
And with a little bit of luck, we'll find our bodies and souls reborn
It'll make brilliant pheonixes of us all, by causing birth from death once more

Hippie van, pew pew pew
In the shed, bonnnnnggggg
In the garage, dance contest
Just a few memories of you, which will now never be forgotten, now that you are gone

Look at my lying like a dead deer on the side of the road, got hit by a metal monster rushing to get where he wants to go. Now all you machines with rubber wheels for feet, just roll on by, don't look at me. Here I'll stay for a month or two til mother nature has her way with me. The rain will fall and bloat up my corpse, then I'll wash away as it continues to pour.

I'm a rock caught in your shoe
And I won't come out
No matter what you do
You can shake me, but I won't come loose
You can hate me, but I'll stick with you

I'm on a roll
Alienating everyone i know and need
Ive got a streak
Of something cold and quite mean
I'll be forgiven
But the sins won't be forgotten
I'll be cleansed
But always smell of something rotten

I had a dream that you called me the other day
You left me a message saying everything would be ok
I'm sorry I missed your call, I blame it on fate
It's never my fault, something always makes me late
I tell a lot of half truths, and I tell bold faced lies
It's up to you to decide where to draw that imaginary line
I don't mean to be me, I blame it on the medicine
Its done a lot to calm me down, but it exacerbates my sins
I can't focus on the ground, I still like to walk on clouds
There seems to be no other way, I'll remain broken until the grave

I want to start this off with a few choice words.
I could make them sweet, but that's more than you deserve,
and I would make hem kind, but I believe they should hurt,
like when you told me, "This thing between us isn't going to work".
I thought that I lost it, I couldn't believe what I heard.
After all that I gave you, it was my name that you cursed.

I was scared of what I felt, but I know you were too

You're afraid of dying alone
with no one there to hold your bones
And I'm afraid of what I'll never know
Like how far we could really go
Because I'm making progress, but I'm much too slow
I don't think I'll reach you before it's your time to go.

There's no escape from the ideas inside of my head and there's no avoiding the thoughts that I'm trying to forget

Eggshell sphere
sitting beyond the atmosphere
Pink and purple wisps of moisture
mingling beneath blue sky
Orange setting star
falling beneath earths end
I am here,
alone,
again

Every word on my mind has the power to save my life, but like a sharpened knife I keep them at my side, because this was supposed to be just another fist fight, and I fight fair even when I'm outsized.