I cant see what my bodys doing
I think im really close to pooping
Ive never quite felt this way before
Except for when ive got a ***** begging from the floor

I need to tire myself out before I get home lest I be too awake to sleep on my own

If I'm a nail and God holds the hammer, he must keep hitting his hand every time he goes to strike me down, because im just standing here like "Am I in yet?"

Johnny used to love us all, with passion for the simple things. Now he watches television and drinks beer to forget the troubles that life brings. Johnny used to have a mind, be in control, and at peace. Now he's got an aching back from holding up the world which has given him no relief.

Joey was a friend of ours
He died when we were young
Now we make jokes about it
And so his name lives on

I feel so empty, with no interest in being interested or interesting, though I don't mind much, but I think everyone else does, and I really don't need their judgements today.

You're better off on your own
With no one to bust your pieces
As you try to fix your home

You left us all outside to bleed
So we set out to be a dying breed
We don't need you to get what we need
So if its fine with you we're taking to the streets

Now I don't wanna cause a fuss
But you'll believe in god but not in us

I don't wanna tell you right from wrong
But the way you raised us caused us harm

I desire a mouthful of fire
I need to bleed bliss
I require a bed made of pyre
I want more than this

Can you tell me what's so wrong with taking it slow?
Can't you see I'm not ready for where this could go?
"Let's throw away all that timid patience" you say,
Oh but what if something in that pile could save us one day?

What are you doing?
Have you not a clue at all?
Being on high all the time is a short fuse away from wasted life, and its a round about way to pretend you are right.
You stay up all night because you can't sleep, and its eating at your conscience every hour of the week like you're the all night dinner from down the street

Its a good thing you turned me down
I can't be the burden you'll carry around
I'm heavy with feelings that I can't explain
And it takes a gentle hand to pick up shattered glass
That's much more than it'd be fair of me to ask

All the words i wanted to say, the pointless poems i wrote when i was home alone, theyve all gone away, swept up in the whirlwind you caused when you left and took with you every dream i had. Scattered to the land and lost floating in the sky, im finding the pieces of me that you apathetically misplaced and im recovering the parts of myself you so wastefully threw away.

There's nothing quite like when you lie to me
by lying in my arms,
silently pretending that we can be
more than just you and me.
And there's nothing I love more
than when you lie to me from the floor
and tell me that you don't want me anymore.
So there's nothing I can do
but lie beside and lie with you.

I choose to use you for my own self abuse.

Only I know what lies beneath
Under this stone facade of flesh and bone
The thickness of skin covers it so well
This liars grin hides what lies within

Tell me how does a man take his life and make something more of it,
And how does a man ever take a wife and not get bored with it

Only you are left to be found when all else is dark

I hurt for all the broken hearts, because I know how it feels to be lost and lonely in the rain, with no one or place to go to give you warmth or ease your pain.
And if there's one thing I could try to do for all those wandering souls who spend their lives out of view, in places that you'd never want to be and that you'll only ever see in your worst late night dreams, it would be to pull them out of their suffering pits and give them reasons and hope to live.
Because as much as it might strain me to reach out and try to save all the other ships lost at sea, I continue sailing on in the hopes that someday I'll meet one who does not need to be freed, but instead will be the one who was sent to rescue me.

You rushed in to fill the all the quickly emptying spaces, and as the cracks grew wider you helped me hold my shape. You plugged the plethora of holes where my soul would try to escape, and you covered the countless crevices that I thought would seal my fate.

If I was a house would you be the key to my door
If I was a rug would you lay me on your floor
If you were a boat I'd let you sail on me
If you were a bird I'd let you fly through me
All these things I wonder to myself
If I was yours would you love me like no one else

If I was a tree would you rest in my shade
If I was a stain would you let me fade
If you were a leaf I'd never let you fall
If you were a painting I'd hang you on my wall
All these things I ponder to myself
If I was yours would you love me like no one else

If I was a lake would you swim in me
If I was a cloud would you look at me
If you were a queen I would be your king
If you were a song you'd be he only one I sing
All these things I question to myself
If you were mine I'd love you like no one else

What's a lonely boy to do
When he cant find anyone to
Paint gold over all his blues

And whats a broken soul to say
When he can never find a way
To express his deepest darkest pains

Suicide sure sounds nice
So nice ill think about it twice
Im afraid to pay the price
But someday soon i just might

A life of ease
Where love is free
And pain is nothing but a bad dream
I dont think it can be
But all i can do is believe

I hate trains
Not as much as planes
But it beats walking in the rain
Don't sit there
That seats reserved
I'm saving it for my new best friend
Once she hops on I'll be at the end
To the end of the line
Til the end of time
I said that you would be mine
But this train is running late
So I must account for this change of fate
You missed your chance
The doors have closed
We left you on the platform in your lonely trance
But of course it must be my fault
You couldn't read the schedule I transposed
Just a minute too late
You were busy filling your plate
I was busy filling your place
This train I'm on only goes one way
Its moving forward
Its taking me away

This hollow island on the eastern coast holds no secrets or suprises. All we have are long beaches, some highways, fishermen and sunrises.

You blame everyone for their own imperfections because you're too afraid to admit that you're terrified of your own reflection

Is it still safe to call you best friend, or is that no longer your name?

I see them now and then, those ancient idols tower over me
They've been there for quite some time, but mostly they've been covered behind a curtain of clouds
I wanted with all I had just to give praise to them, but my burdened brain said I was not allowed

Parking lots
Dead end signs
Endless texts and facebook messages
All to tell me that I'd never be one of your exes
Because you'd never give me an honest chance to show you what I know about romance
Even though you sometimes considered the part as soon as we started launching the spaceship fell apart
We never made it past the atmosphere
Held down by the gravity of fear
Maybe I should call elon musk
See if he has any idea what's up
With the lack of progress in our mission to space
And if we'll ever see the result we aimed to create
Because I still dream of galaxies and supernovas with you by my side
But if I'm being honest I believe the light from this star we wished on has long since died

I know its too early, it may be too late
but i cant go on knowing that i control my fate
just to sit alone all the time
not doing much, not a bad thing
but theres so much more that my actions could bring
i could teach children to write, help them learn how to sing
as long as they wont end up like i have
i lazilly wandered off the simple path
ease of mind has become a rare finding
the clouds overhead are always reminding
and even when dreaming i cant find a feeling
but on a rare occasion
when i want to give in
i remember you saying that we wont always win
but theres many more hands that are left to be dealt
and there are many more loves out there waiting to be felt
maybe tomorrow ill remember your words
but all of this will just get lost with the birds
its morning already and my heart has been steady
a night of panic averted and my morals deserted
I cant help but think that isnt wrong
its always bad timing when I need to be strong
maybe its late but its never to early
to get back on the path and continue the journey

I need it to sleep
Every single day
I need it to think
In a more peaceful way
Oh it does
Take me away
But it doesn't **** the pain
That's here to stay

Without it I shiver
My chest gets tight
Without it I wonder
If I'll survive the night
Oh it does
Make me forget
I slip unconscious
Last thought regret

When I get it
Ill be ecstatic
On the inside
Always an addict
Oh it is
An incredible feeling
But its left me now
My heart has stopped beating

With this, a first kiss,
we can find freedom from fear,
and bust into bliss

Its a madhouse in my mind
I hate the love I can't find
No place is safe for peace to hide
There's no escaping once you're inside

I hate to love
I love to hate

I love from afar
I hate when you're close
My heart has a scar
It goes deeper than most
I loath your love
I find pleasure in pain
I hope you know
I'll have nothing to say
Would you please leave
I need to be alone
I don't believe
I'll ever find my own

Is there anything left of me that you have not already hurt, a single stretch of skin where your name has not been burned?

I've worn the masks that you all made
The face of the worker who's underpaid
The face of the student who flunked his test
I can't find one I like to wear best
I've seen through the eyes of an only child
One who's been held back from running wild
I've seen through the eyes of an orphaned son
Who's only wish is to be loved by someone
All these masks, one in the same
I wear them all, I wear this pain
On my sleeve this heart has bled
In the footsteps of others I've been led
Just who do I want to be today
I'll wear a new mask to forget yesterday
I've heard rejection through the ears of screamer
I've tasted defeat on the tongue of a dreamer
So many different faces
All heading to the same places
Together they hide what lies beneath
They exist just so you won't see me

Maybe I need to fall apart
Maybe I deserve this broken heart
If you won't pick me up today
I'll put myself back together in a different way
Rip out the burnt up circuit board
Throw away the fears I love to hoard
If you can't save me from myself
I'll find my own way out of this hell
You're the strings that hold the stars in my sky
You're the gravity that stops planets from colliding
You keep me together
But you won't be forever
Someday soon I'll have to learn
Just to be and not to swoon
Abusive and confusing
I know the joy of losing
Too many times I've played the part
Always trying to fill this bleeding heart
Perfection is the devil's friend
Perfection will lead straight to the end
If you don't want to cry for me
I'll throw this heart into the sea
Let it float away and away
Because you won't be there to fix me today
I'm not sure if I'm still alive
I tried to teach myself how to fly
But I always needed your helping hand
To pull me down and help me land
I always fly a little too high
I let the little things pass me by
If you won't be there when I fall
I tell you now I'm done with it all
I could never just keep to myself
I always cried for someone's help
Maybe I need to fly on my own
Maybe I need to be alone

There are some things I hate thinking about, and sometimes I let them slip out.
I say a lot without speaking loud.
Just a misplaced word or two is all it takes, for me to show you that there's something melting all the glue that holds me together and keeps me true.

It feels like you're somewhere you've never been,  yet you find yourself flooded with memories of a time way back when
A place where you once felt at peace and where you fell in love with life,  before the tangle of life got you caught up in the strife
A simple, yet pleasant melody
A hand connecting you to me
I miss this place where I've never set foot
I'd take this memory over life if I could

Do you remember when we used to fly
And we never thought that we would die
Before we fell from the sky
Do you remember you and I
Above the clouds we climbed and dipped
Never worrying that we would slip
Together we glided towards calm shores
Do you remember when I was yours

Will you punish me?
Cut these sin filled fingers off,
lest I never write again of how I don't believe in God?
If you can't strike me down, what am I to fear?
If you won't let your wrath return my body to the ground,
You are no god to me.

There's a sound that been beating me deaf between my ears
It's a melody made by mixing madness, anxiety, and fear
It's a song that you're lucky you'll never have to hear
But if you know the tune then sing it loud and clear
And I'll welcome you into the madhouse that is this mind of mine

I hope, that after all these years, the person you've become is happy

I've walked roads the lead nowhere
Built of stones crushed by despair
I've followed paths into the dark
Through long nights
Past bright lights
Never stopping to see where I am
Wandering alone without a plan
There's a road over a raging river
I take a step and the whole bridge shivers
I hope I don't fall and break through
I need to find my way in these woods
I'm crossing over now without a thought
Ignoring the danger and lessons I've been taught
The splintered spruce might break beneath my weight
But I have to keep moving to catch what got away

I can't make sense of what you see
It feels so good
the days when you're all over me
but by tomorrow
it will feel like you're over me
and set to leave

If she was poison, I'd die trying to convince her she was wine

I woke up this morning and got myself a beer
Turned on the tv to see a woman in heels selling fear
A pair of jokers are lying on the floor and i forgot to lock the door
I wonder if they'll find us before we head out to sail the shore
And i wonder if they'll save me from this place before im lost to the insane
I cant feel the skin that holds the bones that make up my frame
I can only feel the pain, guilt, and shame of never knowing peace again

I should publish a book, just so people can buy it and never read a single word
They can put it on their living room tables, and point it out when company comes over
"I read poetry, go open that book if you don't believe me" they'll say, and amazingly, when the book is opened, someone will know that their host is lying
Because if a person reads poetry, they would never buy my book

Full moon shining on the rippling seas surface
Controlling the tides
Serving its purpose
With a force measurable by complicated equations and tactful calculations
Used to predict its every push and pull along the shores of all earth's nations
A light hanging in the atmosphere
Instilling into the minds of many throughout history hope and fear
Shining from the unseen glow of yesterday's sun
Placed so carefully distant as to linger in gravity's grip
Not too far or to close so it will never slip

You're only a tiny voice in the back of my head, but still you sing louder than anything I've ever said. I don't mean to be so distant, and I never intended to show you resistance. It's just that I don't know how to sleep with you next to me, I never make the right move, I always **** up the timing of everything. I need to know that there's a place inside you, a space where I can hide when I need to. And I hope that you don't need this letter to remind you, I'm only looking forward, I don't care what lies behind you.

It's more different now than it ever was. I can't find the reason but I know the cause. it was you and me, we did it to ourselves, left behind the cabinet for a spot on the shelf, but this ledge can't support us both, I think it's time for you to go. I was here first, this is all I know, I'm sorry but I won't let it show

It's been a long time since the last time that I put this pen to paper, to pour out the pieces of my heart that get caught in my throat. And now I'm writing you this letter but addressing it to your ghost, because even though you still exist in my head, the you that i used to know is most definitely dead. I miss the days where we'd sit in my car, and look out across the bay and wonder how far we could swim, and that's a lot like how I used to look at me and you, always wondering whether or not the love you showed for me was true, but it seems that I've lost sight everything you, because all that I see is that I want nothing more to do with the past. Oh god i hope that i can make this feeling last. I know I said I'd always love you, and that much is true, but I can't stand the fact the you don't love me too, so I gotta get away before the feeling tears me in two.